this chapter is dedicated to Just Like You and Canyon Moon and the rest of my Larry playlist for propelling me to write so much i am grateful for you

also this is possibly one of my favourite chapters its just-

Previously on The Marauders Social Media Duology
~
@lilsevans: can you come over to the heads dorm?
@prongspotter: .............
@lilsevans: i wanna talk to you
@prongspotter: about Marlene?
@lilsevans: idk why i just dont feel comfortable talking to anyone else, and we're friends right?
~
@alice.not.in.wonderland: Lily, im not here to bug you about Marlene sweetie.
@lilsevans: what?
@alice.not.in.wonderland: when you were late this morning,
@alice.not.in.wonderland: i went up to the dorm
@alice.not.in.wonderland: Lily, look
~
@lilsevans: i called him over and we were talking, and we fell asleep.
@alice.not.in.wonderland: DETAILS EVANS
@lilsevans: chill al you sound like Mar [one message was deleted]
@lilsevans: just chill

from Tia Milarana to Carlos Haverdam

@witheringpansies: is this carlos?

@have.a.dam: i believe it is?

@witheringpansies: i have something i think you should see

@have.a.dam: lol ok but i have a gf

@witheringpansies: yeah its about her

@have.a.dam: wtf

@witheringpansies: if you want it, you have to promise me a few things

@have.a.dam: go ahead

@witheringpansies: the fact that i gave it to you is between no one except you and me. you don't get to ask how i found it

@have.a.dam: ominous as hell but jump right into it

@witheringpansies: i assure you its real, if a few months old

@witheringpansies: 

@have.a.dam: is that lily?

@have.a.dam: who is that!?

@have.a.dam: IS THAT JAMES?

@have.a.dam: WHERE THE FUCK DID YOU GET THIS

@witheringpansies: uh uh uh you dont get to ask me how i got it, but i assure you its real. that is james. its from early november. if you dont believe me just ask your girlfriend

from Carlos Haverdam to Lily Evans

@have.a.dam: Lils?

@lilsevans: hi

@have.a.dam: is this actually real?

@have.a.dam: 

@lilsevans: where the fuck did you get that

@have.a.dam: so it is real then

@lilsevans: yes, carlos, it is real, but it really looks worse than it was

@have.a.dam: is that james? 

@lilsevans: yes but there is an explanation behind it

@have.a.dam: go ahead then

@lilsevans: marlene and i weren't talking i was sad and.. he was just there for me to talk

@have.a.dam: so was everyone else i'd wager

@lilsevans: yes but.. i dont know why okay i was sad and did stupid stuff

@have.a.dam: while we're on the topic i know we left off the conversation about that night yesterday but i just realised something

@have.a.dam: and at first i wasn't sure why you were so adamant about doing it before, but i saw his ig 

@have.a.dam: lily i saw James's post

@lilsevans: i swear to god i had no clue about that carlos. i've been spammed to death by those stupid users about it and im done. it was just a coincidence

@have.a.dam: even still i figure you were trying to make him jealous.

@lilsevans: i swear to god carlos i really thought you weren't jealous of some dumb thing from way back. so what if he asked me out? 

@lilsevans: every relationship i have ever been in has constantly had with his shadow looming over it because nobody wanted to against James Potter and his stupid fucking crush and i thought now that he'd quit at it the constant fucking jealousy would stop

@have.a.dam: are you kidding me?

@have.a.dam: ARE YOU BLIND LILY

@have.a.dam: that boy chased after you for six years lily it doesn't take an idiot to realize he was dealing with constant rejection for a game or for some silly little crush

@have.a.dam: he glowed around you even when he was with bella, he adored you

@have.a.dam: i see it in his eyes, they always sparkle in your proximity

@have.a.dam: and fuck it lily i see it in YOUR eyes when he's around. you laugh more and you glow like you're the happiest person alive even when he's irritating the shit out of you and you never look at me the way you look at him

@lilsevans: carlos i dont know what to say

@have.a.dam: i dont know lily, i dont know either

@lilsevans: i'm scared okay? i'm scared because i dont know where i am right now. i'm scared that maybe he actually felt something for me more than the thrill of a chase and i tossed him to the ground like that and tore apart his confidence without feeling a shred of emotion other than annoyance

@lilsevans: i'm scared about how i feel because i dont know if its real or just something forced. i dont know where i stand with him even right now as friends since our argument and i dont like it

@have.a.dam: do you know how hard it is dating james potter's girl? i'm lucky now that he's stopped hexing people but i saw the people before. getting harassed by those users and living under the threat that he might just randomly jinx them

@lilsevans: I AM NOT AND NEVER WAS JAMES POTTERS GIRL 

@lilsevans: IF IT WAS HARD FOR ALL OF THOSE PEOPLE IT WAS HARDER FOR ME OKAY?

 @lilsevans: none of my boyfriends have lasted longer than a month. you want to know how many times i've heard the words "you're a really nice girl and i really like you, like a lot but i'm not going to go against James Potter"

@lilsevans: do you know how many times before fifth year i found my dates in the hospital wing caught in some bizarre accident only to instantly break up with me and avoid the marauders with a ten foot pole? 

@lilsevans: and just when i thought i'd actually found someone who wasn't too scared to be with me, you go ahead with this

@lilsevans: and i dont just like you because i dont have to constantly have to remind you james potter wouldn't come and hurt you. i like you because you're kind and awesome and so sweet

@have.a.dam: you like me lily, but do you love him?

@lilsevans: thats the problem isn't it? i can't answer without sounding like a bitch but dont fucking know

@lilsevans: i thought i liked him when he said he was dating bella or even when they broke up. i dont know if its forced after years of james james james james in my love life or if i actually feel something for him. 

@lilsevans: i dont know but even after he hexed my ex-best friend, harassed all of the people i went out with and constantly pestered me i never hated him.
when he was soft and sweet and always had the vulnerable thing right down i thought i'd never met someone this sweet.
and when he was sassy and sarcastic with just the right thing to say for anything, when he joked and laughed i thought i'd never met someone this hot.

@lilsevans: when he hugs me i feel safe and when he doesn't talk to me i feel empty.

@lilsevans: so yes i suppose you could say i love him and i picked the perfect time to go and realise this like exactly after he realised he only saw me as his best friend or his sister or i dont know whatever bullshit he tells people

@have.a.dam: so this is it then? the end of you and me?

@lilsevans: i dont want to break up with you over the phone

@have.a.dam: i dont think i can bear to see you right now. and for the record lily he doesn't tell anyone any bullshit. he's never called you his sister and he always hesitates over the word friend

@lilsevans: really?

@have.a.dam: yes. and i just want you to be happy okay? go ahead, go marry james potter and name your firstborn after me. just have a smile on your face. if it gets you truly, really happy, team lames i guess

@lilsevans: carlos thats so sweet of you, but i dont think james really wants that right now

@have.a.dam: i'll miss these dumb little oblivious moments of yours. between you and james i'm sure your kid will be as attentive as a brick wall

@lilsevans: huh?

@have.a.dam: i dont know how to break it to you lil but

@have.a.dam: james?

@have.a.dam: he's literally in love with you.

@have.a.dam: lily he's smitten

a/n: yes the carly and jella breakups happened like two chapters apart, sue me im basic

love from ana ♥