Hamilton

"Y-you're what?"

"I'm pregnant."

"H-how long have you known?"

"A week or so."

"Eliza you should've told me."

"I'm not sorry."

I feel tears in my eyes. I'm not ready to be a dad yet. She should've told me sooner.
"Aren't you happy Alexander? Our first kid." She smiles. "You'll make a great dad."

"I'm n-not ready to be a dad Betsey. I'm barley 23."

She hugs me close. "It'll be alright," she says and kisses my cheek. "I love you."

I take a deep breath an fake smile. "I love you too."

She yawns. "I'm gonna go to sleep. Stay up if you want. Goodnight." She gets up and walks towards our bedroom.

"Night Liza." When I hear the door close, I take out my phone and text John.

HammyHam: You're not doing anything are you?
GayBae🥰: No
HammyHam: Are you still mad at me?
GayBae🥰: A little. Why?
HammyHam: Can I talk to you?
GayBae🥰: ig
HammyHam: Do you have any alcohol
GaeBae🥰: yeah
HammyHam: great I'll be over soon❤️

I put my phone in my pocket and walk to the bedroom. I open the door gently. Eliza's dead asleep. I close the door and head to the car.

~

"What'd you need to talk about?" John asks as he pours me a shot of whiskey.

I take the shot quickly. "Give me another one please." He pours another shot and I take it.

"Damn. Must be important, huh?"

I sigh and move the shot glass around in my hand. "Eliza's pregnant."

"What? Aren't you happy?"

"Of course I am but I'm too young to be a dad. I wanted to wait a few more years, ya know? A-and I want to keep things going with you..."

He sighs. "Alex, when the baby is born, we have to end whatever this is."

Tears prick in my eyes and I blink them away. "No... No. John please. I can't leave you again."

"Alex. That kid is gonna need a father figure in their life. And if you're not there, then they probably won't have one. You need to be there for the baby, but most importantly, you need to be there for Eliza. Think about what she's going through right now."

"I know... But I can't just leave you. I love you so much."

"If you really do love me, you'll do the right thing when the time comes."

I hug him tightly and nuzzle my face into his neck. "But I don't wanna leave you."

He kisses my cheek. "I know. But at least we have a few months together."

"It won't be the same."

He makes me look at him. I know it won't be the same but it's for the better. Trust me." He kisses me gently.

"I-I've gotta get going..."

"It's snowing. You won't be able to drive."

"You want me to stay don't you?"

I take off my coat and put it on the couch. He leads me to the bedroom and I lay down. "I'm sooooo tired."

"You can't stay up for a little bit longer?"

"Ugh. I guess I can." I lean up against the headboard and he sits on my lap. "I love you so much John."

"I know."

"What if we're still together when the baby's born? Can't we make it work?"

"I-I don't know Alexander. They need you."

"But I need you.."

He looks down and sighs. "We can still be friends."

I brush some curls behind his ear and kiss him roughly. I move my lips to his neck and leave marks. I move us to where he's laying down. He quickly takes off his shirt and I do the same.

"John are you sure?"

"I'm positive," he says breathlessly.

"I love you."

Yeah I have a test tomorrow and I stayed up an extra hour just to listen to Consequences by Camilla Cabello and write this horrible book 🤷‍♀️