⟨Jɪɱɪŋˈs pøʋ⟩

I don't know what came into me, but the moment those words slipped out of his mouth, I did the most embarrassing thing.

I hugged him. And started crying.

Literally sobbing. He didn't hug me back, obviously startled by my deed. I was deeply embarrassed, but I couldn't stop myself. I had to let it out. I just had to.

Seeing his wounds have re-opened my own old wounds as well. They might not be visible to the human eye, but they are there.

Get a hold of yourself.

I say to myself, only for more sobs to leave me. I'm glad that he didn't ask me to calm down or hug me back. That would've been even more embarrassing.

It's okay. It's okay.

I repeat in my head, trying to calm myself down. Sobs erupt from me and honestly, it makes my throat hurt. I've had too much. I give up trying and just hold him, crying onto his shoulder.

I felt arms wrap around me and hug me lightly yet tenderly. And I may have just realized that I'm shorter than him. He lays his chin over my head and waits silently, for me to get over my overwhelmed stage.

It's a pity that I could do nothing when I'm required to. I just go blank. And then cry like a fucking baby after the damage is already done and all I did was fucking stare.

"You fall too, don't you?"

Jungkook suddenly asks, kind of forcing me to pull away. Not that he pushed me away, but the awkwardness of the situation made me pull away.

The answer to his question is simply that, I don't.

I don't fall. I never fall. It's my mom who falls hard, crashing onto the ground and I fall on top of her, which prevents me from getting hurt but in turn, hurts her more.

I sniff and let go of him. He stands still, probably still trying to process what I just did. I ignore him, trying my best to hide my face from him that had flushed up red in embarrassment. I fished out my phone from my pocket and dialled my mom.

"Is Dad home?"

I ask when I heard her pick up the call. I want to take Jungkook to my home and get his wounds treated, but I obviously cannot do that in the presence of my dad. I mentally sighed in relief when Mom reassured me he wasn't.

"I'm gonna take a friend home. He needs our help."

I say. I know my mom's going to deny it, so I hang up without listening to her reply. I turn to Jungkook and approach him again and without looking at his face, I say.

"Let's go to my house."

"I can't"

I glare at him while he gives me his usual innocent look.

"Yes you can, and you will."

I say and grab his hand, dragging him with me. I make sure I'm not too harsh. I definitely don't want to hurt him even more. What surprises me is that he doesn't struggle to get himself free, nor does he say another word. He just lets me do what I want. And I'm gonna take advantage of that.

It was a walk worth a good ten minutes before we finally arrived. I rang the doorbell and waited. Jungkook stood beside me with his head hung low, while my thoughts wandered around his wounds.

Does he?...

No, no, no. It can't be.

I shake my head. He can't do that to himself. He just can't. This is my chance to have a proper talk with him. And I will figure out what's wrong. I will.

The door creaks open. My mom stands before us, eyeing Jungkook, before flashing him a soft smile.

"Come. Make yourself comfortable."

She says and walks back inside, leaving the door open for us to enter. I open my shoes and leave them on the shoe rack on the porch. Jungkook follows me as I walk inside and sit on the couch.

Mom appears again, a tray in her hand with two glasses of water and a few biscuits.

"What help does your friend need?"

She asks me, still displaying a smile to Jungkook. He doesn't touch any of the food in front of him and stays awfully quiet and I can see concern build up in mom's eyes.

"I-I'm fine."

"You're not!"

I snap at him. He seems to be a bit taken aback by the tone but doesn't react. I immediately regret snapping at him. That was not nice.

"Mom, can you please take him to our bedroom?"

Mom nods and looks at Jungkook silently. Jungkook stares back, then stares at me. Mom senses the tension between makes a move.

"Let's go."

She says, approaching him and placing a hand on his shoulder. I sigh, putting my face in my hands. I feel the weight beside me lift. I remove my hands from my face and find him disappearing into my room along with Mom.

I walk to the front door and lock it, to make sure my father doesn't just barge in. I turn around to find my mom leaning against the door frame of my room, staring at me.

"So, what kind of help does your friend need?"

I walk past my mom and find Jungkook sitting on the bed, staring at his feet. He surely noticed my presence but didn't look at me. Mom stood silently, watching what I'm doing. I go around the bed, to my bedside table and pull out the medicine drawer.

I pull out the antiseptic solution and some cotton, along with some bandage. Mom sits beside Jungkook, observing my action. I reach them and kneel on my knees in front of Jungkook. I take his left arm and pull the sleeve up.

I heard Mom gasp. It's no surprise. I was shocked too. I ignore her and pour some of the antiseptic solution on the cotton. Jungkook remains the quietest he's ever been. I probably shouldn't have lashed out at him like that. Now he's back in that shell of his.

His wounds don't look like they need stitches, but they look painful. I dab the cotton on his cuts. Jungkook lets out a small whimper but slaps his free hand over his mouth as if trying to suppress it.

"How did that even happen?"

Mom asks, and I don't know if it's the right time to do so. Jungkook trying to suppress his pain isn't new but isn't good either. There has to be an underlying reason why he's like that.
He is always trying to hide his pain.

He's like mom.

As I wrap the bandage around his wound, my attention goes to his other arm. I haven't checked on that and I feel like I should. After all, he is always trying to hide his pain.

And so I did.

Silence.

I just stare at him. I have nothing to say. My brain went blank. Just like that.

He yanks my hand and pulls his sleeve down.

"Let me go home, please?"

His voice was as loud as just a whisper. But I can't accept this anymore. I just lost it.

"What is wrong with you?!"

I yell as I throw the medicines on the floor harshly in rage. Why was he doing that to himself?

"Why do you think it's a good idea to hurt yourself? Why do you try to hide your pain? What good do you think it does to you?!"

There's hurt in his eyes, but I know he's been more hurt before.

"Like-what the fuck is that?!"

"Jimin."

Mom tries to intervene. But I'm not gonna stop. Mom may be able to get away with these things, but Jungkook certainly couldn't, not when I'm here.

"You think it's-"

"Jimin-"

"-funny to live a life-"

"Jimin, your upsetting him-"

"-like this? To hurt yourself, thinking-"

"Jimin, listen-"

"-it'll get better-"

"Jimin!"

Mom grabs my shoulders, shaking me. There's anger in her eyes as she stares right into mine.

"Get out."

That definitely catches me off guard.

"I'll talk to him. Get out and cool off."

She says in a tone I've never heard. I look back at Jungkook, who didn't care to look at me. I decided it was right for my mom to speak to him, rather than me. I'd prefer to stay away than hurt his feelings more.

I exited the room, thinking about how life is. Mom closes the door behind me. I sit on the couch, trying to comprehend what I just saw. There was this one huge, the nastiest of burns I've ever seen. And it looked like it was never treated. Why is he doing this to himself? Why is he hurting himself?

I want answers. Answers to a lot of questions. He is still so young, so what is so wrong that he decides to take such steps?

I sit on the couch, impatient. The nervousness is rendering me crazy. I can hear nothing. I don't know what they are talking about.

Suddenly, the door to my room swings open. Mom emerges, her face paler than usual. She looked at me with the coldest expression she has ever had.

"We need to do something as soon as possible."