I return to what I was doing before Randall came to annoy me and die in my apartment in the most stupid fashion. I reapply the white makeup and start painting my piece of art. I´ve painted my face a hundred times when I was Carnival, but now I´m not him anymore. This look doesn´t seem convincing any longer and I decide to modify it. I stretch down the blue triangle below my left eye, like a tear that was running from it permanently all the way down to the corner of my smile. Carnival´s paint was symmetrical and had contours, but I don´t have them. I paint a red smile that is thinner and has a higher corner on the right side, almost reaching my cheekbone. The left side is slightly fallen. I don´t have my clown nose anymore, but I don´t really need it. I paint the tip of my nose with the same red I used for the smile. I also don´t need a wig. My hair is green now, a bright green. I wet my hair and slick it back. It looks elegant. Now I only need a suit. What should I wear? Mi only suit is the red one. I used to find it opaque but now it looks bright red to me, intense like blood. I have the yellow vest I used for work and there´s a dark green shirt in the back of the closet I haven´t worn in a long time. I find a dusty box in a corner and as I open it I find a beautiful pair of brown shoes. I had completely forgotten about those. I remember buying them a long time ago, once I had a little extra money. I always thought I´d save them for a special occasion, when I was a great comedian. I didn´t know it, but I´ve been saving my best clothes for this moment. I´m not a ridiculous clown any longer, I´m a proud clown.       

I trip over Randall´s body as I leave the apartment for the last time. I take the letter for Sophie from the table, kiss the paper staining it with my red lips and slide it underneath her door.

- Goodbye, sweet Sophie… of all the things that never happened to me, you were the best.

The end of the afternoon nears. There´s no one in the elevator at this time. Outside the sun has begun to set. There´s maybe still an hour of light left. The never ending stairs that were so tortuous to walk up are surprinsingly fun to walk down. The rhythm in my veins beats again and I dance my way down those stairs. I feel light as a feather, like I have wings. I jump over the puddles, there are sparks springing from the soles of my shoes and grey pigeons fly off around me as I pass. I laugh. I truly laugh, like I´ve never laughed in my whole life. This is what freedom feels like.         

Then suddenly I spot two men at the top of the stairs. Oh no, it´s those detectives. 

- Hey, Arthur!! We need to talk!!

I start running. So do they. I run through the streets of Gotham City, dodging people and jumping over the garbage bags scattered across every sidewalk. I quickly turn around to see them. I´m one block ahead. I´m almost at the subway station. I cross the last avenue when something strikes me. All I know is that my feet are lifted from the ground, the world is turned upside down and my sight is blurred for a moment. I realize I´ve been hit by a taxi. My body hits the windshield and I fall on the asphalt. I´m disorientated  but I hear the detectives yelling close to me, I pick myself up and after quickly checking that the gun is still in my pocket I start running again towards the station. I run up three stairs at a time and manage to squeeze myself into the train just as the doors are closing. I catch my breath and notice that the train is full of clowns. They´re all wearing masks and some carry signs. Ah, that´s right. Randall mentioned a protest. Oh no!! I thought I had gotten rid of them but I see the detectives entering another wagon. I push my way to the back and cross into another wagon. I´m lucky to go unnoticed amongst this multitude of clowns. It´s hard for them to spot me. But my makeup is different. I need a mask. I take the mask from one of the clowns standing next to me. 

- HEY!!   

The man pushes me, I dodge him and he ends up beating another guy. A fight starts from which I manage to escape but the detectives get involved in. The subway is a mess and when the doors open at the next stop, the clowns push out the officers and beat them down. Hahahaha. This is fun. For once I´m on the other end of the blade. It´s not me on the ground getting kicked. I take off the mask and throw it into a dumpster. I don´t need it anymore. I light a smoke and cross the last tunnel that separates me from the studio. Police officers run in the opposite direction, towards the chaos where you can hear screams and a single gun shot. I continue my way. 

I´m all alone in the dressing room, sitting on a swivel chair. I smoke while I watch the news on a small TV. Hahahahah it seems that a policeman died. I spin the chair, taking my eyes off the news and look in the mirror. I find a makeup set on the boudoir which probably the guests use to freshen up before going on stage with Murray. I fix my own makeup and rearrange my hair. I´m nervous. I want this act to be a success, the greatest moment of my life. Here I am, in this place I imagined so many times, about to meet Murray who has been my lifelong idol, about to go out on stage and be seen by so many people on the studio and the thousands of them through the TV. This is unreal…     

I pick up a red lipstick and I write Penny´s words on the mirror. A poisonous yet useful reminder for myself and for whoever will be sitting in this chair tomorrow. 

“Put on a happy face”

There´s a knock on the door. Oh God, it´s Murray.

- Murray!!

I quickly put off my cigarette, get up and shake his hand. He´s accompanied by an assistant but I hardly pay any attention to him. 

- Thank you, Murray!! I feel like I know you…I´ve been watching you forever!!

- Thank you- says Murray - What´s with the face? Are you part of the protest?- 

- No.- I say - No, I don´t believe in any of that. I don´t believe in anything!! I just thought it would be good for my act.-

- For your act?- the assistant asks - Didn´t you hear what happened on the subway? Some clown got killed!-

- Yes, yes.- Murray says to him - He´s aware of it.- 

- No, I haven't- I lie.

- You see?- the guy replies - This is what I´m telling you. The audience is gonna go crazy if you put this guy on. Maybe for a bit but not a whole segment…-

- Easy. It´s gonna work, it´s gonna work.- Murray assures him. 

- Hahahahaha!! Thank you, Murray!!

- A couple of rules, though.- warns Murray - No cursing, no off color material. We do a clean show. OK??-

- Mhmmm.

- Good. You´re coming out right after Dr. Sally!

- I love Doctor Sally!! 

- Good!! Well, someone will come and get you, OK?

- OK. Perfect! 

- Good luck!!

- Thanks Murray!!

He turns to leave.

- Eh, Murray…one small thing…-

- Yeah?

- When you bring me out, can you introduce me as Joker?

- What's wrong with you real name?- asks the assistant.

- That´s what you called me on the show. A Joker. Do you remember??

- Did I??- Murray asks, somewhat confused - Well, if you say so, Joker it is. It's good.-

- Thanks, Murray!!

You accidentally gave me the name I was missing, the stage name I was looking for. At least you did that much for me, Murray…

I take my seat again. I grab the gun and point it at my throat once more. This is the final rehearsal.  

I'm standing behind the curtain, the last barrier before the big act. You can't see anything from here but you can hear it all that's happening on stage. The laughter, the applause. I smoke my last cigarette before going out and I hear Murray's voice. 

- You gotta see our next guest for yourself. I´m pretty sure this guy could use a doctor.

Laughter.

- Does he have sexual problems?- asks Dr. Sally.

- Looks like he´s got a lot of problems!!!

Laughter. 

- Alright, Bobby, let´s show that clip one last time!

I hear my own laughter. My failed act at Pogo´s. Murray´s second low blow. 

Laughter. 

- You may have seen that clip of our next guest. Now, before he comes out I just wanted to say that we´re all heartbroken about what´s going on in the city tonight. But this is how he wanted to come out and honestly I think we could all use a good laugh, so please…welcome Joker!!!

 Alright, Murray…my move!!!