You had just gotten your first legal job, and you weren't happy about it.

Y/n: Who does Peach think she is, yes I broke her tv and she still makes me get a job.

Jeeves: That's nice Y/n but for ten minutes I've told you I don't care, it is our duty to show our customers the best manners and class and make the best food money can buy!.

Y/n:...Yes sir.

Jeeves: Good man, now get to work, time is money!.

You sigh as you see couple after couple enter the restaurant.

Y/n:...Seems like everyone in this Kingdom is in love...like I was.

You set couples up at tables and begin taking orders.

Woman: I'll have the lobster.

Man: And I'll have the lobster as well.

You write down the order and head into the kitchen.

Y/n: Two lobsters my friend.

You see the chef turn to you and smile.

Kirby: Poyo ^_^.

You smile and pet Kirby before heading back to the dining room and take a sip of water before you eye someone at a table and spit it out. You head over to the table and see Chomper drinking water out of the fish tank.

Y/n: Chomper, what the hell are you doing here.

Chomper: Getting a drink.

Y/n: Sorry but we don't serve single people-

Chomper: Funny, I actually have a date.

You start laughing and Chomper looks at you confused.

Y/n: You are funny, the exit is on the left-

Chomper: I'm serious.

Y/n:...You actually have a date?.

Chomper: Yes.

Y/n:...Is the girl blind?.

Chomper puts on a glove and smacks you across the face leaving a mark on your cheek.

Y/n: Ow, what was that for!?.

Chomper: She's not blind, in fact there she is.

Y/n: Alright let's see what she looks like...

You turn around a tall blonde woman was walking over to the table, she was wearing a mushroom kingdom police uniform on and her face had a bruise on it.

Woman: Do you know where I can find a blue shark anywhere?.

You look at Chomper who smiles and you drag him by the tail.

Y/n: Be with you in a moment mam, just need to have a word with my friend.

You back Chomper up against the bathroom walls.

Y/n: HOW IN THE FUCK DID YOU GET A POLICE OFFICER AS A DATE!!!?.

Chomper: What do you mean?.

Y/n: How much did you pay her!?.

Chomper: Nothing, we chatted on tinder.

Y/n: Show me the messages!.

Chomper pulls out his phone and you look through the nearly 2,000 messages the two have had in just a day.

Y/n:...You are very lucky.

Chomper: I know, there are some guys outside by the way, I think they are hoping I get hurt so they can take my place instead.

Y/n: Then you better make sure this goes well...

You then smile as you get an idea.

Chomper: What's with the smile?.

Y/n:....How would you like to make sure that this isn't a one-time thing?.

Chomper: Would do you mean?.

Y/n: I help you on this date and you in return...pay me all the money in your account.

Chomper: WHAT!!!. I need some of that money!.

Y/n: For what?.

Chomper: Taxes, my fish tank, my entire side of our room, saxophone lessons, cooking classes, acting lessons-

Y/n: When the hell did you play the saxophone?.

Chomper: I got it when we moved remember?.

Y/n: I thought it was a gun-

Chomper: What would I want with a gun!?.

Y/n: I don't know, look, how about I get sixty percent of your money after this date is over, do that and I'll make sure Miss Aran takes a liking to you.

Chomper: Well in her bio she said she likes sharks, she also likes hunting down criminals and-

Y/n: Don't care, now go back to your table and I'll perform my magic.

Chomper: Don't even think about using your "magic" remember AL's diner-

Y/n: It's not my fault the place burned down!-

Chomper leaves the bathroom and returns to his seat while you go back to the kitchen.

Woman: Nice Tuxedo.

Chomper: Thanks...So, you are a police officer?. Must be fun.

Woman: I'm mostly in it for the money, but the adventure is fun as well.

Chomper: there is that.

Woman: So do you know the server?. You two seem to be friends.

Chomper: We go way back, ever since we were little.

Woman: You had other friends too, right?.

Chomper looks down before looking at you.

Chomper: He's my only friend...

You were cleaning some glasses when you turned to see both of them looking at you.

Woman:...I'm sorry-

Chomper: Don't be, he was always there for me, as I was for him, we played games together and we did stupid shit together, such as going down the stairs in a sled...it was his idea.

Woman: I never had a childhood...my parents were killed when I was young.

Chomper spits out his drink.

Chomper:...Your parents as well?.

you hear the two of them connecting about the losses of loved ones and you open a briefcase under the bar area, it had a doughnut, a gun, and a little pink bottle, you poured two glasses of wine and put a drop in both glasses before serving the wine to the table.

Y/n: And here is your wine, enjoy.

Chomper: Merci.

Woman: You speak french?.

Y/n: Oui Oui.

You put out a small pin and poke Chomper in the tail, drawing a bit of blood, you then very carefully draw a drop of blood from Samus and put the drops in the opposite drinks.

Woman: I feel like I just got stung by a bee.

Chomper: I don't feel anything-OW!.

You poked Chomper again just for the fun of it.

Y/n: Sorry I just...dropped my contact.

Woman: No problem.

The officer takes a sip of her wine and drops her glass.

Chomper: Are you alright!.

Chomper looks over to you and you motion for him to drink it and so he does, and he drops his glass before holding his head and tries to get up from his seat, knocking over the chair and sending it into a karen.

Karen: WHERE IS YOUR MANAGER, THIS MAN GOT ME TO SPILL MY SOUP, WHERE IS YOUR MANAGER!.

you look around fire your gun and the Karen drops to the floor and people begin screaming.

Y/n: Hey look, my shifts over.

You see couples fleeing the restaurant as you carry Samus and put her in the backseat of a car and you drag Chomper by his tail.

Y/n: You need to go on a diet-

Chomper: No doctor, I'm fine.

You put Chomper next to his date and drive back to the castle.

Y/n: If I catch you two doing anything you shouldn't I put two rounds in both of you and drive off a cliff.

Woman: What about our food-

You hear police sirens and look at Chomper.

Woman: Oh hey, there's the boys.

Y/n: You owe me all your money Finley.

Chomper: Pfft Finlay, hahahahahaha!.

Y/n: Seeing you two makes me wish I still had someone to love.

Woman: You'll find someone, just have to find the right female...or male, whatever you are into-

Chomper: What?.

You reach into your briefcase and pull out the pink bottle before reading the back of it "Find love in an instant, with just one drop."

Y/n:...I think I know a way I can find love.