SEASON TWO, EPISODE ONE

ALLISON

NICK

          NICK HAD GONE THROUGH THIS THREE TIMES NOW.

          This was his fourth time competing in a national show choir championship. This was his fourth Sectionals competition. Therefore, he had absolutely no idea why he was freaking out to the point of vomiting out of stress.

          Naturally, Janet thought he was being ridiculous, but, this time, she was being a lot nicer than usual. Under any other circumstances, she'd barge into the bathroom and drag him out by the collar of his shirt, throwing him a towel to clean himself with. After all, the club depended on him, as he was heavily featured on all three numbers they were performing that night.

          Today, she understood. There was something deeper than that going on, something that needed plenty of team-work to solve, and they needed each other.

          "Look, Nick," she began, kneeling next to him in the bathroom. Next to her, sat a plastic bottle filled with water. She had brought it along with her just so he wouldn't die of dehydration in a bathroom right before a competition. "I understand you're nervous as hell. I think everyone is, and the circumstances are definitely less than ideal, but you need to get your shit together. There's a lot more at stake here than just your pride . . . and, well, mine, I suppose." She gave his back an affectionate rub, but then patted it. "We don't like this any more than you do, buddy."

          "I hate my PR team," he complained.

          "I know, babe."

          Nick sniffled, reaching out for the toilet paper to wipe his mouth and nose. He flushed the toilet and closed it before they both died with the stench. "I hate that I have to do this. I hate that I have to get so many people involved for absolutely no reason." She reached out for one of his hands and gave it a gentle squeeze. Her ring hurt him, but he didn't utter a word. "It's not fair."

          "It really isn't." Another squeeze. "However, it's something we all have to do, especially if we want to win this thing. At least you're not getting involved with people who suck at performing."

          "Everyone knows this is a terrible idea." He slid back towards the wall behind him and leaned the back of his head against the cool tiles. Sweat ran down the nape of his neck and he felt disgusting. How was he supposed to perform? "It's not going to help. It's not damage control; it's an attempt at pushing a narrative no one really believes in anymore."

          Nick knew Janet knew he was right. It had always been a stupid idea, one that everyone involved protested against, but, as always, they hadn't been heard. It was the regular procedure, anyway, and he supposed he should have gotten used to it by now, but it still pissed him off to a massive extent.

          Everyone knew it wouldn't fix anything. A.J. had already been outed, there were pictures of her and Miyu circulating online, and no one would believe a story about them getting back together. He was perfectly happy with Janet and he didn't want to put his actual relationship at risk once again, not when he was certain it wouldn't help. Pushing a fake relationship when everyone knew it was fake was simply a waste of time, but his words and A.J.'s were quickly drowned by their publicists' demands.

          He knew she had quit her show choir group. He knew she didn't want to get involved in something like that again.

          Therefore, it made absolutely zero sense for their publicists to dive into the show choir rule book and find a loophole that determined each group could include two members, max, that attended other colleges. For whatever reason, they thought shoving her into Descant Get Enough would do wonders to repair what had been done, as if any of that had been her fault, and completely ignored the fully logical arguments she presented them.

          Long story short, they'd had no choice in the matter. The setlist, which Nick had worked so hard on, now told a completely different story; the theme, longing, was supposed to be about him and Janet—his partner on more ways than just one. Now, regardless of how much he loved A.J., they all had to follow a different narrative, one in which Janet was something akin to the other woman, and it pissed him off. All of them were pissed off, really, but this wasn't the way things were supposed to go.

          He knew he was supposed to be more supportive as a best friend. He could feel her rage in his own bones, exploding into supernovas between his ribs, but he didn't know what he was supposed to do or what he should say. There was nothing in his power that would make it okay, that would make it hurt any less, so he complied with the plan, even though he didn't agree with it. It was no use to keep fighting against a higher power, so he brought her along and rehearsed for two days straight.

          Janet was strangely understanding throughout the entire process. After all, she, too, loved A.J., even though she kept being screwed over. She wasn't okay with their current circumstances, not even by a long shot, but, at least, she was helping.

          "We need to go, Nick," she said. "They need us. They need you."

          "I feel like, if we lose, it's going to be my fault," he confessed. "I should be able to deal with things, shouldn't I? It's our fourth year competing."

          "It's not supposed to get easier, babe. If it does, then it means you're not trying hard enough."

          She stood up, all delicate and elegant in her high heels. She was already ready for the stage, wearing a maroon gown and her neutral-toned makeup, whereas he still hadn't bothered to get dressed. Everyone was waiting for him to pull himself together, wondering if they'd even have a male lead to sing that night. Janet reached out a hand towards him and he took it, letting her hoist him up and lead him towards the sink.

          "Get cleaned up," she told him. "I'll go check on Allison in the meantime."

          She exited the bathroom and Nick only allowed himself five more minutes to clean himself up, brush his teeth, and rinse his face with cold water. He was still shaking from head to toe, doubting he'd be able to hold his own by the time they were due on stage, but he knew he had to power through his nerves.

          So, when he finally decided to follow Janet, his eyes instantly landed on A.J., who was the other person his entire group depended on.

          She sat by the mirrors, already dressed, blonde hair cascading down her back. No one looked at her and she returned the gesture, too focused on her own reflection. If the past week hadn't happened, Nick would be able to crack a joke or two about how that wasn't really that surprising and she'd playfully slap his arm. Better yet, if the past week hadn't happened, she wouldn't be sitting in Descant Get Enough's dressing room, as it wasn't her show choir group and she had no business being there.

          Unfortunately for everyone involved, including her, it had happened. She was stuck with them for the night and, needless to say, she wasn't too pleased.

          "Hey," he greeted, pulling the chair next to her. A.J. briefly turned her head to face him, but not completely. "How are you holding up?"

          "Fine," A.J. muttered. Janet was already standing on the opposite side of the room, talking to their coach, but he knew she was paying attention in her own way. "Let's just get this over with so I can go home and everyone can pretend none of this ever happened."

          He sighed. This was one of those times when he wished she was an easier person to talk to and to deal with. "Look, I'm not going to say I understand what you're going through and, trust me, I don't like this situation one bit, but we need to work together, okay? I know you're not in the mood to go out there and perform, but I can't let you throw the competition and make us lose. We've never lost Sectionals before."

          A.J.'s face instantly hardened and Nick knew he had said the wrong thing. "Fine. I'll get over my trauma in a matter of minutes and put on the show you want me to."

          "You know that's not what I meant."

          She stood up, running a hand through her hair. He didn't like the way her cheeks were hollow now, how her eyes, once electric blue, had lost their spark—all in a matter of days. "You're not going to lose. Not when it's up to me."

          "That's the thing, A.J.; it's not just up to you. I don't know how you guys did things at your college, but Vassar College prizes teamwork. So do we. It's not a job for just one person. It's about the entire group." She clenched her jaw, then spun around on her heels, marching out of the dressing room. Janet turned to look at him, placing a hand on her hip, and quirked an eyebrow. "She's fine. She'll perform."

          "I suppose that's not what most people would classify as 'fine', but whatever you say, my dude," Janet retorted.

          Nick groaned, running his hands through his hair, and risked a quick glance at himself in the mirror. His cheeks were splattered with tiny red dots, courtesy of the thirty minutes he had spent—more like wasted—in the bathroom, puking his guts out, and the circles under his eyes were the darkest he had seen them ever since Nationals. He was definitely not looking forward to another row of competitions, yet there he was, moments away from performing.

          "I'm gonna go get dressed," he announced. "We're winning this goddamn thing."

* * *

          A.J. didn't run away and leave them hanging, which was a good thing. Her bad mood was definitely a problem, but Nick wanted to believe she wouldn't let it hurt her performance, in spite of everything that was at stake. He had seen her perform on a stage before and he had watched her tape for Invitationals, so he was definitely aware of what she could do when she put her mind and heart into it.

          "Our Sectionals were yesterday," A.J. murmured, in the hallway. "Their Sectionals, I mean."

          "So I've heard," Nick replied, stopping next to her. They both leaned their backs against the cement wall. "They won."

           "Yeah." She tucked a strand of golden hair behind her ear. "I wasn't there to watch. I'm trying to keep a distance from . . . well, from everything, really. Everything that reminds me of what happened."

          "I understand." He didn't. However, he could empathize with what she felt; after all, it wouldn't make sense for her to not want to stay away from those who had hurt and exposed her secret to the entire Internet without hesitation. "Have you been staying at your dorm?"

          "No. I went back to my apartment yesterday." She sighed. She lived in an apartment on Cornelia Street, which wasn't that far from where they were, but she rarely stepped foot inside of it during the school year. "I needed to be alone, I guess. I missed my piano."

          "And Miyu?"

          A.J. stiffened. "She understands. At least, I hope she does. I never meant to drag her into this, really, but she says she's not leaving. Ride or die." Her lips stretched into the weakest of smiles, a gesture that required every last bit of energy left in her body. Nick could only hope she'd have enough strength to perform, as they were due on stage in less than two minutes. "I'm not sure if I should be thankful, flattered, or utterly terrified, but I suppose it's . . . it's nice to know she still—well, still wants to be with me and I have no idea why. Even with all the mess that's going on. This, for example. I never got a chance to tell them I was doing this, but some people know. I'm not expecting them to understand. As soon as they find out, they're going to call me a two-faced backstabber, or something."

          "She loves you," Janet simply said, appearing out of nowhere. Nick's cheeks instantly rose in temperature at the mere sight of her, something he was certain she had noticed. "It's as simple and as complicated as that. Once you find someone who's willing to stand by your side and hold your hand throughout all the crazy mess and the drama, hold on to them."

          "And now, from Vassar College," the announcer called, and they all straightened, "the current national champions . . . Descant Get Enough!"

          "Go get them," Janet told A.J., giving her bony shoulder a quick squeeze. "I believe in you."

          "You shouldn't," A.J. retorted, but still made her way towards the stage. Nick believed in her with everything he had and, deep down, he knew she did, too. She had been born to be on the freaking stage, to perform, to sing; he knew she could do it, no matter how hard she thought it was going to be.

          Janet laced her fingers through his. Even though she was wearing heels, he was tall enough to let her rest her head on his shoulder, and they both tried to not think about the solo. A.J. had to sing Whitney Houston's I Will Always Love You, which everyone who knew what had happened a few days ago would interpret as being dedicated to Miyu—which was never Nick's original plan. It was Janet's solo, something to make up for all the fights and the flaws.

          He wasn't going to be bitter forever. It was for the greater good, even though it was a greater good neither he or A.J. agreed with.

          Then, it was his turn to step on the stage as the first notes of Phil Collins' Can't Stop Loving You started playing. A.J. had gotten a standing ovation and had moved herself to tears by the time they locked eyes with each other, and he knew it was time to play the part. Their choreography wasn't theirs, but they had learned how to fake it a long time ago—fake chemistry, fake feelings. Her hand was steady against his waist and his arm secured her by hers, and the crowd was deafening by the end of the song, when he leaned his forehead against hers.

          All he could think about was Janet. All he could think about was how everything was wrong—for the three of them.

          He didn't even like Total Eclipse of the Heart. People would think it was a jab directed at NYSPA, as their show choir club was named after a pun with that song before being revived, and, with A.J. performing with them instead of with her own college, the rumors would fly faster than the wind. Even though it was a group number, he, A.J., and Janet were heavily featured in it, creating the illusion of a love triangle (or square, if one included Miyu in it) that didn't actually exist.

          A.J. had to sing she didn't know what to do.

          No one there knew what to do.

          Regardless of their drama, Descant Get Enough still won. They were going to Regionals. A.J. didn't even stay for the after party, even though Janet tried to convince her into staying. When she left the building, she was met with the bright flashes of cameras, following her even as she tried to cross the street.

          It wasn't going to end anytime soon. Nick felt her slipping from his fingers—like smoke.