"Contractionses! What's contractionses, precious? Are they crunchy? Are they nice?"

Um, no. They are words that--

"Stupid Smeagol doesn't know what contractionses are! Gollum!"

Gollum! Stop it! 

"We knows! We knows want contractionses is! They means that you are wrong! Take that! We hates you! Go away!"

Sometimes I wonder if they'll ever stop fighting.

Smeagol! Come here, and I will explain what a contraction is.

"We knows what it is! We knows! Stupid Gollum is the one who doesn't know! Contractionses mean that you are wrong!"

I think he's a little confused. Contradictions say that something is wrong, while contractions are two words put together, using an apostrophe to stand in for missing letters.

Examples:

They are - They're

You are - you're

It is - it's 

Oh! I think they noticed that I'm writing. They're coming over, now. Ugh. Gollum's here now, and he's insisting upon reading what I have written.

"Stupid elf! Your exampleses are all false! Those are possessiveses! Stupid skinny elf is wrong! We told Smeagol he should've let us write it!"

"Elfses knowes better than you! Very nice to our guest, isn't he precious? Oh, very nice indeed! Soon it will go away, and we be all alone with HIM!"

"You were better with just me, precious! Elfses are tricksy and false! They write nasty things behind your backses!"

And, they're off again. But, Gollum did bring up a point worth mentioning, on possessives.

"Of course we did, stupid elf! You were wrong, and we are rightses!"

(I think that soon I will write a chapter that addresses the fact that 'stupid', 'fat', 'nasty', 'juicy', and 'precious' are not the only adjectives that have ever been. And another on how not everything should be said in plural form.)

As I was saying, possessives and contractions can often sound--

"No they don't, precious! Contradictionses sound like possessiveses, but not contractionses! Give us the pen, and we makeses it right!"

I don't think so, Smeagol.

Anyway. Possessives and contractions can sound similar; however, the spelling makes a monumental difference in these situations. 

They're, spelled 'they-apostrophe-re,' is very different from their, spelled--well, you just read it. The same goes for your/you're and its/it's. Basically, if it's a pronoun (I, they, he, she, you, Etc. PRECIOUS ) with 'apostrophe-and part of a word' at the end, it's not a possessive, it's a contraction. Look at the sentence and think:

"Am I saying that something is, or that something belongs to someone?"

If your sentence states proudly that it is 'you are sentence,' or something of that ilk, something ought to--

Wait, PRECIOUS?? Since when is precious a pronoun?

"Since now, precious!"

It is not!

"Is too! It's in the grammar book! Cruel elf hurtses our feelings!"

Oh, alright. I'm sorry for hurting your feelings.

"Then it giveses us the pen? We wantses to write the next chapter!"

Um.....

[[ AN: What do you guys think? Should I continue, or should Gollum Grammar be put to rest here and now?

Are there any particular common grammatical errors that you would like to see addressed? Is there a particular type of interaction you want more of? Characters who should make appearances? I'm curious to hear what you all think! I may not take all suggestions, but I would like to hear them all the same. This book is very different from anything I've ever done before.

Thank you all for reading!

Hope]]