In the morning the alarm on the side table blared to life at exactly 7am. It felt almost routine as you searched for it in the dark, grabbing around the tabletop to shut it off. You rubbed the sleep from your eyes, rising.

There was a small colorful toiletries bag sitting on the bathroom counter. Opening it, a small note sat atop.

Had to make sure you were set up, good luck.

You had no idea who this gift could have possibly been from but regardless it was a small slice of heaven. Shampoo, conditioner, body wash, toothpaste and a toothbrush. Each was crudely labeled and in small glass jars. Such a small kindness, you had to find who had left this and make sure that you thanked them. You slipped into the shower, without meaning, you stayed until the water chilled.

The high from the personal hygiene products soon wore off when you were then tasked of putting on your clothes from yesterday. This wasn't anything new, you had been wearing these clothes for months on end. But something about having to slip them on again pained you. Moving swiftly, you threw everything on and headed out the door. The first step out the door was met with with a soft kick to an unknown item. Looking down, someone had left a small, neat stack of clothes at your door. Upon further investigation there was a rolled paper bag next to the pile. You scooped everything up and shuffled back into the room.

You sprawled the folded clothes on your bed, two sweaters, a turtleneck, a crewneck, three pairs of pants and various undergarments including socks. This had to have been from Joel, you hadn't thought anything of the passing comment until now. You made a mental note to track him down today to thank him. You then opened the paper bag to examine its contents. The sight made tears form in the corners of your eyes. It was several empty picture frames and a palm sized wood horse carving. You let the tears fall.

—

You stepped out into the cold breaking in one of your new outfits, feeling very pleased with yourself. You felt good, even a bit excited to start the day. Things had been happening so fast you feared everything would catch up to you. Stamping down the anxiety, you decided to run with the excitement for now, worry about the possible shock wearing off later. You wanted to allow yourself to feel good for the time being. Breakfast also crossed your mind, but the extra time you spent putting your pictures in the frames and changing ate up the extra time.

Your first round of jobs was one of the greenhouses. Greenhouse 2 to be exact, this was one of the buildings that Joel had showed you yesterday. You mapped out the route in your head, recalling certain landmarks—past the stables— to get there.

Entering the greenhouse, the immediate rush of warmth was overwhelming. It was thick and humid. The type of humid that lingers on your skin for a little too long. The greenhouse itself mirrored the flower nurseries you'd go to with your mom. She was a stickler about her garden. Though this greenhouse was only vegetables. You were greeted by a squat cheery man, who rose to about your height. His age was hard to pinpoint exactly but he was definitely younger than you, the lines had yet to reach his face. There was no gray hair to be seen. Just a small brown-haired man.

"Hi! You must be..." he trailed off looking at you expectantly.

You gave him your name.

"Ah! Yes sorry, I had it written down, but God only knows where that paper is..." he pauses for a palatable moment. "Goodness I'm Danny, I almost forgot my own name!" He laughed lightly. "Well, I'm excited to show you around today! Do you have any experience gardening?"

You laughed awkwardly; he didn't seem to notice any awkwardness. Your mom had kept a large garden in the front yard, and occasionally she'd have you pull weeds. Dad also grew vegetables in the summer, and sometimes let you harvest them. Your knowledge was basic. You could feel Danny's stare boring into you, effectively pulling you from your thoughts.

"I guess other than basics, no." You shifted the weight between your feet.

"Some knowledge is better than none!" He clapped his hands. "Let's get started shall we. This'll be fun."

The next few hours passed unbelievably slowly, turns out Danny liked to talk. Talk and talk and talk. You thought you had heard this man's entire life story up until this exact moment. Even when you were up to date— he would narrate everything in real time.  A few people came to their shifts a bit later, one woman you had already met, Monica. She was a bit standoffish, which you did not blame her for. Mainly because she too worked with Danny, and you yourself were new and unfamiliar. You also met Dana, who said a quick hello and ducked her head to work. She gave you sympathetic looks for most of the shift.

Lunch rolled around, much to your relief Danny had to stay behind.

"You're more than welcome to stay for lunch! I made some pizza last night and can spare some. Oh! Did I tell you about the one time I set the oven on fire?"

He had told you. You politely declined, flashing him a smile as you hightailed it out the doors. Snow was coming down once again. You could see the large piles gathering amongst the shoveled trails. You traced your steps again to the church. It was a hub of sorts; a buffet style restaurant had been set up inside. From what you understood from Joel's intro, this was mainly where people got their meals.

Walking up the steps and through the heavy double wood doors, you were once again in awe of this place. It was packed full of people. It was one large high ceiling-ed room with matching large windows, flooding in multicolored light. There were school-like lunch tables positioned in the center of the room. The buffet stations lined the walls. You hopped in line for food, showing your temporary ration card until you had a steady "income" from a job. You grabbed a small cut of meat, which ended up being chicken. And a fresh baked end of baguette. Grabbing some greens, fresh, cucumber, and carrots.

Eager to eat you grabbed the closest seat and dug in. The table you sat at was empty, you sat on the end so as to not cause any awkward interactions.

"Hey, you're the new lady." A voice broke you from your concentration on the food.

You looked up to see Joel's daughter, Ellie. You nodded to her, swallowing a large bite you had just taken. Holding your hand over your mouth "yes I am."

"Mind if I sit here?" She asked pointing at the chair across from you.

"All yours," you replied, watching as she pulled out the chair and set down her food.

"What was with the picture frames?" She said looking at you curiously.

"The picture frames?" Joel must've mentioned them to her. But you didn't know why she was asking about them at this moment.

"Yeah, Joel had me drop off some stuff last night. I just thought the frames were weird." She forked at her salad and put a big bite in her mouth. Now talking with her mouth full, "I mean I get the clothes, but the frames threw me." She began mocking Joel's voice, "make sure you grab at least five of them Ellie" she swallowed her food and giggled.

"Oh, uh just for some pictures I had. Make it feel homier, I guess." You replied shrugging.

"That makes a lot of sense," she said pointing her fork at you. "He gave you one of his little horses too, I did snoop."

"His horses?" You questioned.

She was stabbing hard on her salad and put a mouth full in before she spoke, "yeah, he makes them— old man arts and crafts. You must be pretty cute because he doesn't really go shelling them out."

There's a little twinge in your chest, its warm and it spreads. You hoped the statement had some weight to it, mostly because it made you feel good. And that a complete stranger liked you enough to provide this small kindness.

"Oh no, I'm sure it was just a welcome gift," you said dismissing her.

She was pointing her fork at you again. "Well, it's a rare occasion that he even lets me in his workshop, and I live with the guy." She pauses and looks thoughtful for a moment, "anyways, did you like the clothes I picked out? He kinda let me have free rein with it all, he spent yesterday afternoon making that little horse."

He made the horse for me. You had assumed it had been something that he had? Or you didn't think much honestly, that was something to ponder later. You looked up to Ellie. "Yes! I really like the sweaters especially, Thank you."

She put the last bit of her salad in her mouth. "Good! I don't get to go in the clothes storage much, so I did just pick out stuff I liked." She shrugged.

"You have very good taste."

She shrugged again, "I know I do." She laughed.

You laughed with her; she really was a sweet girl. You appreciated her matter-o-factness. You spent the rest of your lunch just chatting. When lunch was over, she showed you where to clear your dishes. And you two headed out the door together.

"So where do they have you today?" She asked.

"The greenhouses."

"Oh man, then you've met Danny." She winces.

"I have had the pleasure of doing so, yes." You replied with a hint of sarcasm in your tone.

"Well good luck with that, I would request another job if I were you. He's there alllllll the time." She bent down to tie her shoelaces; they were a pair of green converse. A bit odd for December you noted.

"I'm there for the next two days unfortunately." You confessed.

"Yuck, good luck with that." She stood back up and put her hand out to shake. "It was nice talking to you today, you're not so bad even though you're old." A cheeky smile crossed her lips.

You accepted the shake, "you're not so bad either— even though you're young."

She laughed, "it was funnier when I said it." She waved her hand dismissively.

"Maybe," you cocked an eyebrow at her, and she giggled again. "But quick before you go, do you know where I could find Joel?"

She tapped her chin and hummed. "He's out on patrol today, so he'll probably be back later. Why? Are you gonna stalk him?"

Your eyes went wide, "What- no, I just wanted to thank him."

"I'm only joking! Patrol gets in before dark, so I'd stalk around the stables then. I recommend scaring him from behind, he loves that." She pointed at you with her eyebrows up.

"Right, thank you. I'll probably hide in the rafters and jump down instead."

"Even better!"

—

The rest of the day painfully ticked away, you felt like you really knew Danny's mother at this point. Or every single person he's ever met for that matter. When the clock finally struck 5, luck was on your side, Danny had left you to talk to Dana. You called to him.

"I'm gonna head out Danny, thank you! See you tomorrow!" Before he could respond you slipped out the doors.

Wincing, walking away at the possibility of leaving a poor impression but God you had to get out of there. You decided that tomorrow you would let him talk your ear off. The sun had just started setting, you figured you should just stop by the stables to see if Joel was around.

Walking up the fence line, there was a spotted horse hanging her head over the fence. You probably shouldn't pet the horse, but she looked rather harmless in her hot pink coat. You let the horse see your hand before you reached up, she leaned into the scratches you were giving her. Your heart swelled a bit at this.

"Hi, how was your horse day? I like your coat." You smiled, God you had missed animals.

"That's Lady and you fell right into her trap." Tommy materialized next to you. He leaned over the fence to give Lady some scratches as well. You noted the distance he kept between you two.

You looked to him. "Her trap?" You looked back at Lady trying to seek out anything dubious about her.

"Yeah, she'd keep you here all day if she could, loves attention." He smiled.

"And honestly I'd let her." You returned the smile.

"Listen, I wanted to apologize about the whole keeping you locked tight for a week. Protocols, make sure you're vetted properly. And then just kinda throwin you out here alone." He adjusted his cowboy hat.

You looked to him, his face was unreadable, this felt like a pretty big thing to be so casually apologizing for. But on the other hand, you should probably feel luckier you're not dead, and your only current problem would either be Danny or making friends. In addition, from the looks of this place it was unlikely he was sadistically holding you captive.

You shrugged, "eh, I understand." You left it at that.

He nodded slowly. "How was Joel yesterday? Give you a good tour?"

"I'd say so, I met a lot of people, and had a very good sandwich."

"Good good, I know sometimes he can be a little abrasive..." he shifted uncomfortably between his feet.

"Speaking of which, do you know where I could find him? I wanted to thank him." Lady leaned her head into your hand further after your petting had paused.

"Oh, he's in the stables— puttin up his horse for the night. I'd run ahead, he leaves out the back usually." He nodded to the barn.

"Thank you, Tommy," you gave him a small smile.

"And if you ever need anything or have any questions, my wife and I are in the first house in the neighborhoods. It's been a while since we had someone new."

You nodded to him with a smile, gave lady one more pat and set off down the snow-covered gravel to the big doors.

The barn was almost empty, a few people were still about, cleaning or pulling horses in. Down one of the halls you saw Joel pulling his horse into a stall. You debated wether or not you should approach him or wait for him to leave. After a moment of deliberation, you chose the latter. Nervousness— butterflies started to creep up over you, the feeling ruminated and then you swallowed it. What Ellie had said was really getting to you. You shook your head as if to clear the thoughts, and headed toward the stall he went into.

His back was to you, at work unsaddling the horse. You decided to wait until he noticed you, not wanting to startle him. It felt a bit creepy just standing here, maybe you should clear your throat. You could not stop yourself from narrowing in on his shoulders, they were broad.

"You just gonna stand there silently?"

His voice made you jump, the irony was not lost on you. He didn't even turn to look at you. "Oh— sorry I'd didn't want to interrupt. But I wanted to thank you for the clothes." You pause, your voice cracks a bit. "And the picture frames. It really made my day— well my year if we're being honest."

"Don't mention it." He replied waving his hand dismissively.

Your throat was dry. "Um, anyways. I just wanted to make sure I said something in person. I really appreciate it— if there's anything I can do to repay you?" Not that you could repay him in any way, it was the polite thing to offer.

He gave the horse a pat and pulled the reigns off. Walking across the stall to hang them up. "No, it's alright."

His gaze was now on you. You panicked a bit; you plan never really extended past a thank you. "Oh um, well I'm off then. Have a nice night Joel and thank you again."

"I'm leavin too, I can walk with ya, I'm headed that way." He grabbed his bag and held out his arm in an 'after you' way.

"Oh sure." You stepped out of the stall, Joel followed.

The two of you walked side by side, different from the day before where you followed at his heels. You were close, but still at a respective distance. He had been bundled up tight in winter gear, but you could tell he had shuffled around his clothes to get more comfortable. His jacket was undone, but his scarf stayed tight, and his gloves hung out of his back pocket. We crossed through the threshold of the barn silently. You thought about speaking first, maybe bringing up Danny— Surely, he'd have an opinion. But the silence was nice, you just enjoyed the company, the reassurance that there was someone with you. Even in the simplest sense. Walking past the horse fencing again you could see lady in the distance being called in for the night. Her head turning to the sound of her name, then swiftly trotting in. Her white freckled coat was a stark contrast to the cloudy sunset above, she was almost glowing. Rounding past the greenhouses and into town, the amount of people out and about doubled. A few gave hellos as the two of you passed, Joel giving small nods and smiles to them. He seemed like a pretty genuine person. Someone you could see yourself being friends with. These people had their respect of him for a reason. Not to mention his thoughtful action you had been the on the receiving end of.

As you got closer to the town square you started to realize that you hadn't really told Joel where you were headed. You assumed he had just been following you, having already passed the cut through to the neighborhood housing— where you could only guess he lived.

You should probably speak now, take your leave and retire for the night. The comfortably of the silence was waning. Not wanting him to feel obligated to do anything, ie walk you home. Though, he did not seem the type to feel an obligation over something like this, especially with a stranger. Fearing if any of this prolonged itself, it would get awkward. You also made note that you were probably alone in having these mental gymnastics. Anxiety was ever present in your life, but God you had forgotten the toll social anxiety takes. You slowed your pace as you deliberated internally, Joel matched it. Just get it over with you thought.

You slowed your pace to a final stop; you could see the hotel in the distance. It was glowing ever so slightly, the grand rustic fireplace roared, giving the windows a warm tint. "I'll let you go; I'm just turning in for the night." You were looking at your boots.

He seemed to understand the hint, you looked up to him and could see the word 'oh' forming. "Oh, alright sounds good." He put his hands in his jacket pockets.

You turned to leave, making a slight eye contact before casting it down,"and thank you again, for everything." You faintly smiled and nodded your head. You mirrored him stuffing your hands in your coat pockets.

"Again, don't mention it." He nodded and turned around and began walking back the way the two of you came.

Your eyes followed him until he disappeared into the cut through to the neighborhood. Maybe you should've just let him walk you to the hotel. You stopped yourself, there was no need to dive into the semantics of this. It was over, you'll see him around. Crisis adverted, you thought mentally facepalming.

Dinner that night was a beef stew with potatoes and assorted greens. Your eyes grew wide at the strawberries at the end of the buffet. Sitting there still glistening from the wash they had received. The spread of fresh produce was slightly unbelievable, promising yourself to work a bit harder tomorrow.

You ate alone, you didn't mind. There was a calm solidarity in it. Getting to unwind and eat without fear. There were still the moments that you had to pull yourself away from. Like the insatiable urge to fill your pockets up with as much food as possible. Though tonight you had failed, as per the dehydrated fruit in your coat pocket. As you ate, restraint evident with each spoon full, you took in the room beginning your favorite activity— people watching.

The room was relatively full, though still a few of the long tables remained empty. It was a bit painful how much this reminded you of school. There were definitely factions among the people. The stable hands had just gotten in, all now pulling their cowboy hats off. There was a table of teens in the corner, talking animatedly and laughing loudly— no Ellie though. Though you assumed she'd probably be among them. You recognized a few of the council members in the other corner of the room, heads low. Then there were the families about 6 or 7 of them— some looked alike some didn't. Regardless, you could still see the dynamic between them. There were a few loners around, though none of them stayed that way for long. Something twinged inside of your chest, you were the only one eating alone. You swallowed this sinking feeling with your last spoonful of stew. You didn't wish to linger on this feeling. It was your first official day after all.

You cleaned up your spot and swiped a roll on your way out into the the snow.

Showering again, you tucked yourself into bed, giving your now framed pictures a quick glance. The warmth of the bed pulled you into a swift deep sleep.

Stepping out on to the street, the snow was deep, reaching past your ankles and up your shins. Trudging deeper no snow was falling, it must've been dumped overnight. The streetlamp was on, softly glowing. Some of the lamps were red, giving the snow below a bloody appearance. You halted at the sight of him, your childhood dog. He looked younger than you remember, the grey gone from his face. His breath visible in the cold steamed up around his muzzle. He looked calm, sitting there deep in the snow. You called to him, in minor disbelief— how did he get all the way here? He wagged his tail in response, creating an angel wing in the snow behind him. You stare at him for a while, the disbelief is palatable in the air around you. Making quick glances around to check if anyone else was around to witness this. Between glances he disappeared. You walk slowly, closer to the spot he once sat. The outline where he sat is visible, and his tracks go off deeper into town. His tracks are black, you're a bit taken aback from this. It looks as if he had stepped in paint.

The paw trail was easy to follow, it wound deeper into town. Winding back and forth between shops. The sun had yet to fully break through to dawn, it lingered low.  Though the prints were never hard to spot. It was almost as if they were glowing. A memory flashed in the back of your mind. A time the dog had gotten out, you were 15 or 16 at the time and he was the same age. It was muggy out; middle of summer and the sun was just starting to set. You had heard your mom shouting for him out the back door. She cursed loudly when the dog didn't return. This memory almost came to life in front of you. The snow melted and you were now facing your childhood home. Your canvas sneakers were double laced around your ankles and covered in mud. The coolness of the evening was setting in. There was a band-aid on your knee you were acutely aware of, along with the sock that was full of mud. You held the dog's leash in your hand, letting your arms fall in a bit of defeat. Until you heard it, your brother, calling to the dog. Shooting your head to look in the direction of the call you saw the muddy paw prints lining the driveway heading to the side yard. You took off running. You'll get to see your brother; you could feel the elation rising in your chest.

Your whole-body jolts and your eyes shoot open. Disorientation floods the room, filling the air. The dream felt so real, you couldn't remember a dream that had ever been so real. Maybe it was because you were actually falling asleep. Rather than the anxiety ridden sleep you had been receiving for the past 8 months. Your body was rewarding you with vivid dreams. Looking at the alarm clock on the side table the clock reads 5am. You sigh and look to the pictures sitting next to it. You had arranged all of them to sit facing the bed and had just barely managed to fit them all in the table. You narrowed in on the picture of your dog, it looked the same. He was older of course; the picture had been taken shortly before he had passed at the ripe age of 15. His face was grey, and it matched the grey in his eyes. you tried to picture him in your dream, but you could feel him slipping from your mind.