The shadow of time

The next day, at school, Felix told his friends how the first meeting had gone. He said it was normal. He didn't want to tell the details, because they wouldn't understand. But when they insisted on knowing more, he had to invent a story from scratch. As he spoke, Hyunjin passed by, completely ignoring him. Not a look, not a greeting or a nod. Zero. This gesture did not go unnoticed by Felix. Indeed, this total indifference bothered him.

That afternoon he was supposed to stay at school to help set up the theater. All the time, Hyunjin kept to his own business, as if the other wasn't there. When the two hours were up, Felix walked straight towards the boy.

- Can we meet tomorrow? - He asked in a low voice.

- Okay. How about 5 p.m? - The other said in a fairly audible tone of voice. Felix wanted to put a bag over his head.

- Could you not scream? It's embarrassing enough.

- What exactly is embarrassing? Your grades? Or the fact that you need me?- He picked up his backpack.

- I don't need you!

- Well. I'll go tell the principal that you're not going to cooperate. Maybe you don't care that much about getting into college, right?

- At five. To my place.- He turned on his heel and went home, his head like a boiling cauldron.

The next day arrived, and Felix had already taken a headache pill. When Nanny Valera welcomed Hyunjin into the house, his mood worsened. Just the sight of that pink sweater and white trousers made him nervous. Furthermore, he seemed to want to show off his lean abdomen at all costs while talking to the nanny, since it looked more like a crop top than a shirt.

- Shall we go to my room? - He regretfully stepped in the conversation. He was afraid that sentence might sound ambiguous.

And indeed Hyunjin caught exactly what was not meant to be understood. He knew that doing so would irritate Felix and he wanted to have some fun.

- Do you want me all to yourself? - He asked making doe eyes.

- Let's go. - The other grunted.

Why didn't you say hi to me? - He asked then, when they were upstairs.

- When?

- Yesterday morning, in the backyard.

- I didn't see you.

- Liar.
- Even so, you were too busy telling lies to your little friends.

- They were becoming insistent. I had to say something!

-You could have told him about the match.

- Are you crazy? I remind you that we are not friends and we never will be! And if you thought about it even for a moment, well, I advise you to put it out of your head! I'm not like other people. I won't let you manipulate me!

- Where are you going?- Hyunjin asked seeing him walk away.

- To the bathroom. I'll be right back.- The other replied.

Hyunjin was left alone. He looked around. There were many books. Some looked very old, yellowed with age. He leaned forward a little to look better. Then he laid his eyes on the desk where a notebook stood out. Various lined sheets of paper emerged from here, among which popped out a beautiful scribbled calligraphy, as if the words had been written centuries before. So Hyunjin started browsing. There were poems, fairy tales, short stories or just thoughts and reflections, all signed in the lower margin with the name "Felix".

- I'm ba... what are you doing? I told you not to touch anything! - He tried to take the notebook back.

- So, you're not as apathetic as I thought!- The other commented, keeping the object for himself.
- Give it back to me! - He stood on tiptoe since he was shorter.

- Let's see..." What stops me from my being? My non-being that becomes the "I", transforming my soul into the shadow of myself..."

- Stop it!

- "Life is said to change people. Over time, what I devoured in one go. I am not a sage, nor a hero, nor an example. I'm just a coward who chose to be unhappy."

- Enough now!- Felix crashed Hyunjin onto the bed, blocking his wrists with his hands.

Le loro facce erano a un centimetro di distanza. Il primo ebbe un brivido.

- Their faces were an inch apart. The first one shuddered.

- Why did you do that? Look at me while I talk to you!

- I'm looking at you Felix.

- Don't do that!- He loosened his grip.

- Now I really see you. And do you know what I see? That your eyes are lighter, they are not both blue, because one is more sky, the other more grass. And your freckles look like a wheat field and your mouth like a currant bush. Then I feel your heart, which reminds me of the ocean: impetuous, deep...

- Stop it...

- Why? You know you've been hiding for too long...

- You do not know anything about me!

- Yes you are right. I know absolutely nothing about you. But I would like to meet him, that boy you locked up in a cage.

- You can't... no one can. Never.

Felix moved to one side and remained in the same position as the other, looking at the ceiling.

- Maybe if I wasn't me... yes, I would like it. But I chose a role and I can't go back. I love writing, but I can't tell them about it. It's my secret.

- I will not tell anyone.

- Thank you.

- As long as you let me read that notebook.

- It's out of the question!- The boy snapped.

- I'm joking, I'm joking. Your secret is safe with me. Come on! Shall we start our lesson?