World War H

Prequel

"OK, what first item on agenda?"

"Let me see, Mr Zombident. It be Zombie doctors."

"Zombie doctors? What up their butts?"

"Complain they have no work, Mr Zombident."

"Why that?"

"All zombie dead, Mr Zombident. Not get flu or herpes or run over by train. Hmm, actually they do get last one. But then they just be short zombies. Zombies no get sick, so zombies no need doctor."

"Hmm. OK, me know. Put all zombie doctor in zombie army."

"What if zombie doctor no want to go in zombie army, Mr Zombident?"

"Easy. We give them choice. Go in zombie army. Or go in mulcher."

"OK, me just write that down. Ready for next item, Mr Zombident?"

"Hit me."

"OK, Mr Zombident."

"Ow!"

"How that, Mr Zombident?"

"Dumbhead! Me mean hit me with item. Not chair!"

"Oh, me see. Sorry, Mr Zombident. Easy mistake to make. Second item is zombie nurses."

"Sigh. Me can guess. They complain they no have work?

"No, Mr Zombident. They complain zombie doctors get best car parks."

"Oh. Me not expecting that one. Oh well. All zombie doctor in zombie army now, so problem go away."

"Ah, clever. You great politician, Mr Zombident. Fix two items with one solution. And mulcher."

"Yes, me pretty good, alright. What next item?"

"Let's see, Mr Zombident. Third item is zombie funeral directors."

"Sigh. It no easy being zombident."