She's a judge, but she decided to write a qualifying entry! Wow! Weird!

B1. OutrageousOllo

Wattpad HQ. A magnificently ugly building, made of cold, lifeless concrete and spattered with black mold-based paint and the blood of Amazon.com staff. It was a hundred storeys high and had a hundred more below ground. It was in the sixty-ninth basement level that Mad Mike currently rested, chained to the vile brick by his wrists and his ankles.

Lord Wattpad (recognizable by the turd-emoji hat he was wearing) strolled into Mike's cell and smirked at his apparent vulnerability.

"Well, well, if it isn't The Chosen One." He sneered and raised one of his bangle-covered arms and stroked Mike's head. Mike hissed and tried to bite his hand. Lord Wattpad quickly jerked his arm away and grimaced at the mark his teeth had left. "Still not civil, I see." He sneered again, before backing out of the cell and slamming the door. "Throw away the key!" Mike heard him yell to the guards.

But Mike wasn't finished yet. Unknown to Lord Wattpad, he had taken one of the bangles with his teeth and had spat it into his shirt, where it slid into his sleeve. He wiggled the thin metal circle into his hand and quickly twisted it flat, using it to pick the lock on his cuff. Just a little trick he had learnt from his friend Joseph Tugger. Once that arm was free, it was easy.

He snuck through the building, snapping guards' necks and dumping them in storage rooms where necessary. He passed a room of trapped monkey programmers and let them free, joining them in wreaking shit-flinging chaos throughout the building. Finally, he reached Lord Wattpad's penthouse and kicked in the door, strolling in with a monkey on his shoulder and a snotgun in his hands, which said monkey had helped him find.

"Well, well, well, if it isn't Lord Wattpad," Mike said, sneering back at his foe. "I told you in my many Zendesk emails that monkeys were a bad idea. But did you listen? No."

Lord Wattpad looked pale, his chalk-powder blush looking more lively than the real skin beneath. His turd-emoji hat started to droop. He took a step backwards, towards the full-length windows behind him. Behind that were the skies of Wattpad, still smoldering from Mad Mike's Revenge.

Mike raised the snotgun and fired, but nothing happened.

Lord Wattpad laughed, the colour returning. "Ha, you fool. You've got no ammo!"

"Shame," said Mike. He looked at the monkey, who screeched his agreement. Mike nodded to himself and threw the snotgun at Lord Wattpad, catching him in the head before he could duck. Mike rushed forward and kicked Lord Wattpad, smashing him into the glass. It cracked behind him.

"No, Mike, please," he begged.

Mike ignored him and kicked him through the glass, sending him falling to his instantaneous death. Mike smiled and stroked his monkey. He cooed to it and rubbed under its chin. "It's okay," he promised his new friend. "He's dead."