The Regret
//Rae's POV//
*2 weeks later*
December 1st, 20**
Dear Diary,
Things between Y/n and Black Hat haven't gotten better. They haven't talked for 2 weeks as far as I'm aware. She's still depressed but better than she was before. I'm very worried about her. She is super quiet, barely eats, and stays up late working. I have a feeling this is what she was like before she started dating him. On the other hand, Tyler has told me Black Hat has been more aggressive towards all of them lately. He's been working late at night as well, too. To get off topic to a better subject, my relationship with Tyler is going steadily! 😄 We always relate over the weirdest stuff and I love it! I'll give more detail soon!
———
I finished my diary entry for the day, smiling in satisfaction.
I used my feet to scoot myself over to my desk on my swivel chair, putting my locked diary in the drawer.
I then stood up and stretched my back, aching from hunching over to write in my diary.
It was still morning, and I wasn't dressed, so I picked out an outfit for the day.
A Blue and Red flannel with denim jeans.
Perfect.
I threw over a sweat jacket since it was a bit chilly out today, it being the first day of December.
I decided I would go and visit Flug today.
As I went towards the stairs, I passed Y/n's room.
My smile faded as the crack between the door and the doorway revealed her still working, looking like an insomniac.
'Maybe it would be good to get her out of the house..I know she doesn't want to see him, but it's worth a shot.'
"Y/n?" I crept in.
"Hm? Oh hey Rae," She did a small, fake smile.
"I was going to see Tyler. Would you like to come?"
She looked to the ground, "I..don't think it's a good idea if I should come. You should have a nice day with Tyler."
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah. Sorry Rae."
"It's alright. I'll see you later..please take a break, too."
"Okay..see ya," Y/n nodded, focusing back to her work.
As I walked out the front door I sighed, she was hopeless at this point.
I took the 4 minute walk from my apartment to Black Hat's manor, and texted Tyler I was outside.
He met me at the gate and turned off the alarm system, walking outside.
"Hey Rae. Today's my day off and I think she would go somewhere else. Jefe is in a really bad mood today."
"Alright.."
———
//Black Hat's POV//
I watched from the window as Rae and Flug left, probably on a date.
They held hands, making me bittersweetly reminisce on how Y/n and I did that ever so often.
Her small hand would grip onto mine, intertwining her delicate fingers with mine.
She would look at the ground, blushing and smiling shyly.
I would chuckle and tell her how she was so adorable and that she didn't need to be shy.
I would tell her that I loved her.
That I loved her so much.
Tears started to fall from my eyes, I didn't bother to wipe them away.
I missed her.
I missed her so bad, I needed her.
I missed her smile, her eyes, her kindness, her everything.
"I need you, Y/n.." I sighed.
I regretted everything I did, the way I worded it and how much of a risk it really was.
'I think it's because I just realized what it's like without her, I can't live without her, making what I did an even bigger risk.'
I didn't recognize how much I needed her in my life.
I didn't love her enough, she saw that.
I thought that she needed to realize what I meant, when I actually need to apologize.
The apologies that I said before were all empty.
Y/n leaving me was a hatchet to my heart.
Or...
Was it me that left her?
———
just breathe.
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