Completely exhausted I had collapsed into bed for a nap. When I woke up the phone was ringing. I waited for three rings and when no one else answered it I reached reluctantly over to my bedside table to pick up the phone and mumbled something closely resembling a pleasantry.

“For the love of God Vivian! It’s about time you answered,” came a rushed voice on the other line.

“Huh? Who is this?” I was hardly awake. My head felt heavy with sleep as if I had been deeply dreaming for a long time.

“Julia! AKA, your best and probably only friend these days! Girl, you have some explaining to do, I’m coming over!” The phone clicked and went dead. I stared at the receiver for a moment, half expecting an explanation but finding none I returned it to its docking station.

Still thoroughly confused, I swung my legs out of bed and stumbled across the room to turn on the light. It was dark outside, the clock read 8:00 PM. I ran my fingers through my dark waves, too lazy to locate a comb. I did manage to care enough to take one quick peek in the mirror before heading downstairs. It was only Julia but still, a girl had to look her best right?

The image staring back at me in the glass made me shiver. My jeans were ripped and the top I was wearing resembled a black corset with pink laces. Was I wearing makeup? My lips and cheeks were stained red and my eyes were lined in a dark charcoal color. I never wore makeup. I didn’t even think I owned any. Molly was the makeup type, not me.

Katrina had to be behind this. I let out a disgusted sigh. Only Katrina would tart me up like this in my sleep. But how did she manage that? With little time to think about the mechanics of ghostly object manipulation before Julia’s arrival, I quickly changed into plaid pajama bottoms with a black t-shirt and went to wash my face.

Fifteen minutes later an over excited Julia was seated in my father’s office chair, spinning around and around like she was off her medication and talking a mile a minute.

“Seriously, slow down. What did you say about Luke?”

Julia stopped spinning and flashed me a lopsided grin.

“Don’t get me wrong. I’m all for it. There is absolutely nothing between me and Luke, I swear. He’s all yours, hon! I do think your new look freaked him the hell out just a little though. He’s not used to girls throwing themselves at him. I think you’re the first.”

My head was starting to throb with all the crazy talk. Nothing was making any sense. When did I come on to Luke? I had only met him yesterday and it was a very full day what with my unexpected emotional outburst and all.

“I’m sorry Julia, it’s been such a long day and I must be very tired. Nothing you are saying is making any sense to me right now. Why would I come on to someone I just met? And when? I don’t even recall ever being alone with Luke.”

“Oh? You were plenty alone with him last night after I left you two snogging on his basement couch when we were supposed to be going over the details for my photo shoot next week. And don’t think I’ve forgotten that you promised to be my star; you’re not getting out of that by hooking up with my best friend. There is very little you can do to shock me Viv, I’ve seen it all. Hell, I’ve done it all.”

Why couldn’t I remember any of this? Especially the part where I was kissing Luke, assuming that’s what “snogging” meant. How could I not remember my first kiss?

“Julia?” I asked my next question very tentatively since the answer to which was probably not something I wanted to hear. “What day is it?”

“Thursday Viv, all day long. Oh! But not for very much longer, crap, I have to run. My mother was upset enough when I came home late the last three nights. See ya!” Julia flashed through the room in her usual way. She walked almost as fast as she talked.

I closed the front door behind her and slumped to the ground with my hands cradling my aching head. I recited a few facts to myself. The last thing I remember was talking to Miranda and then lying down to take a nap. Apparently that had been almost four days ago.

As alarming as this was, I couldn’t say it was the first time. It used to happen a lot. I would constantly find myself miles from home, doing something I thought I’d never do. I would wake up days apart from the last I remembered and not be able to recall what happened. It got me into more trouble than you can imagine.  The last time had been right after Molly died.

I remembered walking in to the bathroom to find her cold body stretched out on the bathroom floor, pills scattered all around. Her lips were purple and her eyes were open and fixed on the ceiling. I closed my eyes and started to scream, and I woke up almost two weeks later in an ugly pale pink hospital gown. My sister was dead, and I didn’t even remember the funeral. When I asked about it I would get real upset and had to be sedated. Eventually I figured out that the only way to leave the hospital was to pretend to get better; whatever that looked like.

I felt a tingly cold breeze cross the back of my neck. Katrina’s voice echoed in my head. “Feeling faint, love? Thinking about taking a Xanax, or two or twenty?” The sound of her voice, so rich and deviant, made me feel sick. Her laugh lingered on and on until I could hardly stand it.