chapter ii. fallen pieces - 2

Seoul, 2021

By the time Namjoon arrives back at his apartment, any interest of his to go out tonight has perished.

There is an unsettling feeling that keeps nagging at him in the back of his mind ever since his meeting with Jungkook. Although, it wasn't even Jungkook's fault but his own. Or, perhaps, to put it lightly, his personal vendetta against the soulmate system.

Outside, the sun has yet to set and the sky is still bright. Nighttime is still hours away, and yet here he is, standing in his living room while looking out the window, with a glass of scotch in his hand. He may no longer need to escape his thoughts by going out in the crowd, but he sure needs the drink.

Namjoon had meant it when he said that he was jealous of Jungkook. To be honest, he had felt so envious of the boy for a long time. Today, he had just been given a new reason to feel it more.

Ever since he was a student, Jungkook had always seemed like he had a promising future hanging on his shoulders. A good looking boy with good records in his studies starting from the beginning of college. Even as a shy boy, Jungkook had never found any problems in making friends. Everyone loved him, either male or female students, even the professors on campus. Everyone would flock around him whenever he was around. He may not be the life of the party at times, when he would rather stand in the corner somewhere chatting to a friend or two, but people would look around and easily get drawn to him.

And now look at Jungkook today.

All those great records that Jungkook had gained through college had been worth it once he graduated. Jungkook has become an aspiring musician who is also known to be a quick learner, hence why the interest to sign him had been talked about here and there, only that nobody had the gall to actually make the move. Until Namjoon did. After talking with him today, Namjoon had also found out that Jungkook is also a talented producer who has been showing his talent in making videos on the side, even if he has yet to do it more seriously. As if all of those merits aren't enough, Jungkook had also met the love of his life, something that not everyone would be so lucky enough to find in their lifetime.

For many, finding their soulmates aren't always an easy task. Some may be as lucky as to find each other in a short time since their countdown started. For the unlucky ones, finding their soulmates could only happen in their dreams, and they would spend most of their lives wondering and questioning if their soulmates truly exist. And most of them would spend their lifetime waiting, searching, hoping that they would be united with the ones that the universe had chosen for them, even if it would take years or decades for it to ever happen.

Most people—except Kim Namjoon.

Namjoon downs his drink until the very last drop of it slips down his throat. The sting from the strong drink makes him wince, but he takes it as a part of his punishment as he silently reflects on his youth. He closes his eyes, letting the silence of his home bring him back to the past, to the uneventful night when his fate got completely twisted.

It had been a long time since Namjoon wondered about his own soulmate. No matter how often he would tell himself that he doesn't care if the universe had truly decided to change his fate, oftentimes, he would still find himself wondering what it would have been like for him if he had met his soulmate when it was meant to happen.

When he was young, he had once felt the joy and hope of finding his soulmate. But then it changed the moment the numbers first appeared on his wrist. When he found out that he would have to wait until the moment he was close to finishing college to be able to meet his soulmate, he was both nervous and devastated. At that point, he wondered why was he given such a trial? Why did he have to wait so long when everyone around him had so little?

He remembers making various theories about it in the past.

Perhaps his soulmate was someone who was a lot younger than he was. Perhaps she lived in another country, or in a different continent, or maybe it would take a lot of effort for them to finally meet. For the whole year since his countdown started, he tried to figure out all the reasons behind it, constantly wondering if he would ever be able to find her at all. Until it came to a point where it became the only thing that he could think of.

That was when he stopped caring about it too much.

The moment Namjoon started college, he placed those thoughts in the back of his mind and tried not to let them get in his way as he focused on living his life. He studied as hard as he could, focusing on chasing his dreams and building his path to a successful life straight out of college. He had decided that if the universe was going to make him wait to find love, then he wouldn't want to wait that long to have a good life.

Once he got over it, he managed to have a good life, after all, and he enjoyed every second of it. Hardworking student by day and head of the frat house who held numerous gatherings and parties by night. He enjoyed his responsibility of helping his frat brothers whenever needed, which had then led to his desire to help struggling artists in the future. He enjoyed the attention, how guys would turn to him for advice and girls would come around whenever he needed some special company in the night and some extra warmth. And he enjoyed his life so much, too much, that he was afraid of changes.

That was what he felt when he looked down on the numbers written on his wrist which was counting down to its final hour one day after not paying attention to it for a long time.

He remembers that night all too well, even if he wants so badly to forget. His biggest mistake was rolling the sleeves of his sweater up while talking to his best friend, Jihoon in the kitchen, allowing his friend to see the ticking numbers. Being drunk didn't stop Jihoon from noticing how close Namjoon was to meeting his soulmate, while Namjoon felt like he wasn't drunk enough to ignore it.

"Fuck, dude, your timer! Why didn't you say anything? You're about to meet your soulmate! Look, only a few minutes left! What the fuck?" Jihoon had shouted then, while Namjoon grew tense. He didn't want to draw anyone's attention to what was about to unfold. Especially not then, when he didn't even know how to react to it.

He still cannot tell or remember why he was feeling so nervous about it or why his chest had felt so tight the moment he watched the hour turning into minutes, then knowing that it would turn into seconds and how he felt like his heart was coming apart when Jihoon pointed it out to him to make him see it happening with his own eyes.

Shouldn't he be happy about it, when his wait was about to be over?

But he wasn't ready. That was what he told himself then.

He had thought that he would still have enough time to put his life together before meeting his soulmate. Not because he had not felt like he had enough of everything, but he already built up so much to prepare for his future without having his soulmate in his thoughts that he wasn't sure he would have enough space for her in his life at all.

And he was also leaving.

Namjoon chuckles bitterly when he remembers the reason why he held that party that night.

It was the end of finals for the students below his year, while he was graduating that year. And he had just gotten an offer from his senior to join his hand in developing his business while learning more about music producing and the marketing around it in the States. It was a similar offer much like what he is giving to Jungkook now, except that he was going to go places to do it, to learn from a lot of people and to experience them firsthand.

How was his soulmate going to fit in when all of that was happening?

Namjoon still cannot believe how much he had messed up then. He had put the thought of his soulmate and any hope of finding her so far in the back of his mind that it totally slipped his memory that night. His mind was so caught up in celebrating the golden opportunity which was handed to him to even bother to look at his countdown, even when his 19-year-old self had once spent all night counting all the hours, minutes, and the seconds that he had to wait until he would meet her.

That night, he would have been celebrating the union with his soulmate too if he hadn't felt so undeserving of it. Because he surely didn't deserve to meet the love of his life when he never even thought about her or to plan ahead so he could make her a part of his life which was changing so rapidly. And he wasn't ready to change anything to make her fit.

That was when he started to deny everything. The words just kept coming out of his stupid mouth when his fear and insecurity took over. He had meant it to stay inside his head as he tried to process everything, but perhaps he was drunk enough to let them all slip out for Jihoon to hear. And God knows who else might have been close enough to hear them talk shit at the time.

Maybe that was the reason why the Fates had decided to punish him for it. For trying to deny what the universe was about to give him, for trying to find reasons for him to not accept his soulmate, and for not trying to make any kind of arrangement that would be beneficial to them if she had truly appeared when the seconds came to stop.

Reaching down to the cuffs on his dress shirt, Namjoon unbuttons his left sleeve and rolls it up to his elbow, revealing the mark that he had carried with him since that night.

'00:00'

Ever since that uneventful night, the countdown on his wrist had stopped ticking just the way it should have. Though instead of giving him a clue of who his soulmate was, it simply stood still. It was simply as if the Fates were mocking him, showing him how his time with his soulmate ended the very second he tried to deny it while his entire world has kept on turning. Only he also knew that this shouldn't have happened even if his soulmate was truly gone, as in, that she had passed away or if she had rejected him. The mark should have still shown the flowers that would be able to represent their bond, along with her name written in the center—black ink if she exists somewhere and red if she is no longer living and breathing.

No matter how many books he had read about it, he could never find the answer as to why his timer simply came to a dead halt when it finally turned to zero. He recalls giving it a glance at the final seconds, and seeing his now and then fling, Yeori, stepping into the room. At one point, he held his breath as he anticipated the change in his tattoo, partly worried while also hopeful that Yeori's appearance would turn the numbers into the expected soulmate mark the moment she came to him.

Not that he was hoping that Yeori was his soulmate, since what they had was never serious, just something to pass up the time until either one of them would find their fated pairs. But being with Yeori was easy. She understood his situation, and she would have understood if he had asked her to wait.

But the numbers simply didn't change as she came into his arms. It only remained as it were, the set of zeros lining up his wrist, while Yeori's countdown would turn into a set of Chamomile flowers less than a week after when she met her soulmate during her flight to Bali to celebrate her graduation.

In the past, there was a point where his curiosity had been so huge that he would often find himself looking down on other people's wrists, trying to see whether they were still waiting or if they had met their fated pairs, before coming home to compare his own mark with them. He had stopped doing so a long time ago. Perhaps about the same time he had stopped caring too much about his countdown.

Maybe that was the reason why he had failed to notice Jungkook's soulmate mark during the times they kept meeting each other to discuss the contract. While it wouldn't be so hard for Jungkook to hide it from him either, when the boy would constantly wear long-sleeved shirts or hoodies whenever they met. And with how much the boy had drowned himself with various tattoos marking his skin, showing up on both of his wrists and down to his hands, even, it was no wonder that Namjoon would miss it.

While he managed to catch a glimpse of the purple hyacinth peeking from under Jungkook's sleeves, Namjoon wasn't able to see the initials or to even think that it might have been the boy's soulmate mark.

But what does he care about it? And why should he care?

Jungkook's relationship with his soulmate is nobody's business. Even if he is about to become the boy's boss, Namjoon also cannot find it in him to understand why he is even thinking about this or why he should involve himself in it. He keeps telling himself this as he pours another glass of scotch, deciding that he would just enjoy the night for himself and stop worrying about his friend, while he doesn't even understand what it is about Jungkook that is making him feel so uneasy.

Back in his apartment, Jungkook sets his phone on his desk as he sits back in front of it, waiting for his video call to get through. On his lap, he holds up a teddy bear which is holding a red pillow in the shape of a heart, with the word "Congratulations!" embroidered at the center.

He feels excited for sharing this moment with you. But at the same time, he also feels nervous. Would it be a good time to tell you the big news, knowing that it would be early morning where you are?

Today is Friday, and Jungkook always thinks about it as a good day. Even better now after signing the contract today and talking to Namjoon about his future with his new agency. And he is hoping that it would be the perfect time for him to share the news with you instead of waiting until the weekends when both of you would be free.

Thankfully, you had informed him last night that today would be your day off, since you had to film a project with the other interns until late at night for the past two nights in a row and the studio agreed to give the interns a day to sleep it off. Suddenly, his guilt starts gripping his chest as he thinks about it. Maybe he should just let you sleep in. It is times like this when he despises the distance, when he would wish that he could be with you there, tending you with breakfast in bed while he would let you sleep until the afternoon after the long week, or wishing that he could hold you in your sleep so he could ease your stress and exhaustion while you would do the same to him.

The call gets through just as he is about to take a quick glance at his clock to make sure that it wouldn't be too early for you, and your face suddenly appears on the screen, immediately smiling wide when you catch the sight of the cute teddy bear in his hands.

"Congratulations? Is that for me, or is it for you?"

Jungkook grins. "It's for both of us. The lady at the toy shop actually offered to make me a customized message on the pillow if I wanted to, but I figured asking her to write 'Producer of The Year' would be too cheesy."

You laugh at his joke, looking incredibly relaxed on your bed as your head falls back. Jungkook takes this moment to take you in—the way you look freshened up after your morning shower, with your hair slightly damp and your face looks fresh and clean without any makeup on. Then he notices that you are still wearing a robe.

Except that he had never seen this particular robe before.

The one that you would usually wear after taking your baths is thicker, much fluffier, while this one seems so thin and looks like it is made from silk. The colour is soft, and he recalls it as dusty pink—he only recognises the name after you had made him memorise the shade when he first started dating you, and you always had on your dusty pink scarves whenever he took you out—instead of white, and it is showing him more than it probably should when the middle part dips down so low he can see the swell of your breasts peeking on top.

"Is that robe—new?"

Your smile grows wider, and he suddenly feels a huge pride flowing to his head when you look mighty pleased about him noticing it. "Do you like it?" you ask him with a bashful smile. "When you told me on the text that you had news to share, I had a feeling it would be a good one. I know that you enjoyed the last time we celebrate through our video call so I thought I might give you a nice treat as a gift."

Jungkook's heart starts pounding at the memory of that last video call. The same memory had already flashed into his head earlier today, just as Namjoon mentioned about him celebrating this new upgrade in life, and his mind immediately took him back to the morning he came apart in his hands after masturbating while watching you touching yourself.

He still has the memory of that sacred morning engraved in his mind so vividly that each time he would start thinking about it, his body would grow hot with tingles running down south and his hard-on pushing against his pants. Just like how it did today when it came to mind, making him work so hard to hide his reaction from Namjoon. There was no doubt that Namjoon might have noticed his skin flushing red with embarrassment and shame, though he can only hope that nobody had noticed when he was shifting so uncomfortably in his seat to hide his hard-on.

Just like how he is doing now, shifting slightly in his seat with the poor teddy bear laid on top of his lap, doing his best to hide his bulge as he starts thinking about it and after hearing you hinting that he is about to get a repeat from that wild morning.

"Wow—" is the only thing he can say as he suddenly becomes breathless when you shift on the bed, getting comfortable on the pillows. Just like how you did it then.

"So—did you?"

"Did I what?" he stutters, earning a knowing grin coming from you when you catch him getting flustered.

"The contract, silly. Did you end up signing with them?"

At the sound of your giggle, Jungkook smiles at you before shaking his head to snap out of it. "Yes, I did," he says, shaking the teddy bear at the screen while feigning innocence, hiding the fact that his nerves are still going off like fireworks. "That's what little Ted here is trying to say."

"Hmmm, I see," you hum softly at him as you position your phone so he can get a better view. "Then you better sit back and take your gift now, handsome. This time, I'm going to let you watch."

So he follows your words and sits back, enjoying the view as you slowly strip down for him, revealing the crotchless panties and a set of bras that are nothing more but a piece of lace barely covering your breasts, and you show them all to him perfectly as you lie back against the headboard. Once you get yourself settled nicely, you spread your legs to give him a clear view of your shaved pussy, before reaching down to spread your folds so he can see everything—the way your clit pops out of your cleft, already swelling while your muscles are throbbing with need, and how you are glistening with your arousal, just as he is growing so hard beneath his pants with his wanton need.

He clenches tightly on the teddy bear to hold back from reaching into his pants to touch himself, unwilling to look away, even as his whole body begins to shudder the moment you slip your fingers between your slit, touching yourself and spreading your wetness from your clit to the pulsing entrance which he wants so badly to touch and to give a taste.

Sitting like this while watching you performing so wantonly for him, Jungkook feels like a true winner. Receiving the biggest deal that would change his future had been a blessing. But this right here, having you showing yourself to him the way only he could ever see it, Jungkook feels like the luckiest bastard alive.

He silently sends his gratitude to the Fates for sending you to him as he listens to the sound of your voice calling his name between your pleasured moans, as he watches your fingers glistening with your arousal, and how you gently push your fingers in between your pussy walls the moment he asks you to with his low and hoarse voice, already so caught up with his needs to please you.

"That's it, baby. You're doing great. You're giving the best gift for me to enjoy for a lifetime," he says this with a groan, too amused at the beautiful sight of you pleasing yourself for him, while each praises that he is giving you only coaxes you to do more, to give him more, and to go even further as you slowly erupt into your climax.

She is doing all of this for me, Jungkook muses to himself as he let the teddy bear go and pushes his pants down to touch himself, as he wraps his palm around his hard and needy cock and starts stroking just as you continue to push your fingers deep inside you, in and out, going faster and harder as you watch him joining you to chase his own pleasure.

She is giving all of this only for me, Jungkook continues to muse silently, groaning deeply as the realisation also helps push him over the edge, until he is releasing himself into his hand, just as you let out a cry in your final climax. And he takes in everything, sending his blessings to the Fates once more as he sends his vows,

And she's mine. All mine.