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o p p u r e

[It.] : Or; used to indicate an alternative version of a passage.

THE FIRST THOUGHT that came to my mind was to run as far away as I could away from Kaden. It was ridiculous. I'd fancied him for the past four years, hoping to one day have the opportunity to meet him again. And now that I had, I couldn't wait to get away from him.

"Well?" He pressed sarcastically, his deep voice grating in the silence. "Do I get a bloody prize for guessing? I know I'm blind but did you think that I wouldn't notice?"

Wordsmith that I normally was, I now found myself utterly speechless. My tongue cleaved to the roof of my mouth and my feet seemed rooted to the ground. And all I could feel was the beat of my heart against my chest, a beat that seemed louder than anything I'd ever heard before.

His shook his head, his eyebrows knitting together almost threateningly. "I deal with fraud and scandals in the company all the time. I can smell a lie from a fucking mile away and trust me; this lie reeks of my scheming, conniving mother. And you thought you could pull this off?"

"Kaden – "

"I must've been a fucking joke to you," he snapped, sharp words raining down like heavy sleet in the coldest of winters. Reaching out, his figure loomed tall and imposing before me as he grabbed me by the shoulders, fingers gripping firmly onto my skin, leaving me without the slightest chance to escape. "Pretend to be madly in love with the blind man and get a shitload of easy money in return. That's the best deal anyone's ever made. No wonder you took it."

His words sent a sharp, shooting pain through my heart but I braced myself. "I'm sorry that this had to be done," I tried to keep my voice steady amidst the tense atmosphere. "But there was no money involved. All we wanted to do was to protect you."

There was a long pause, but I could've sworn we both heard the thundering beats of my heart. I didn't know what he was thinking, but I was definitely crossing my fingers for him to believe my words. After what seemed like hours, he finally released my shoulders and fell a step back. I instantly felt the tension in the room clear; the air seemed a lot more breathable.

"Who are you?" he asked cautiously, the suspicion still evident in his tone. I could hardly blame him. I was basically a stranger who had teamed up with his mother to lie to his face. Mutual trust wasn't exactly in the equation right now. "Do I know you?"

My head snapped up. This was a moment I had anticipated for so long, for the four years since I had last met him. I always dreamt that one day, Parker would introduce the both of us and that I'd say hello to Kaden and he'd remember me, even if my feelings for him would never be reciprocated. When I had agreed to playing Evangeline, this lovely thought had disintegrated to dust.

But now, now that Kaden knew everything, now that the ruse was up and I was no longer needed to play Evangeline – could I tell him?

Apparently, I had taken several seconds too long to give a response, because he sensed my hesitation and frowned. "Alright, so I do know you," he concluded, except he couldn't be more wrong. He didn't know me apart from that one dance we shared. That didn't count; we couldn't even be called acquaintances. "When have we met before? What's your name?"

I'm the girl you danced with when you were twenty, do you remember? Or did you dance with so many other girls that this one no longer made a difference?

"I could find out either way, you know," he continued calmly, when I still didn't respond. "It wouldn't be difficult at all."

"Does it really matter?" The words slipped out of my mouth before I could think twice. "Is it so important to know who I am?"

Because you could be disappointed – or worse, I could be disappointed. Disappointed that the dance that meant the world to me didn't mean a single thing to you.

"It is if I need to know whether you can be trusted."

"I'm not going to hurt you and you can trust me," I insisted, my voice small as I searched his face intently. But with his eyes hidden from sight, I couldn't tell what he was thinking. "Your mother trusted me enough to let me do this."

He stilled, a fleeting look of uncertainty clouding his rigid expression, if only for a split second. Finally, he let out a heavy sigh and reached for me. Instinctively, I fell a step back and he frowned when all he grasped was air.

"Look," he closed the gap between us, sliding his fingers quickly down my arm to take my hand. I noticed how his fingers were long enough to loop around my wrist. It seemed positively tiny under his grasp. His hold on me was gentle, as though I was nothing but fragile. "I'm not going to hurt you either. I just want you to explain everything to me. "

"Alright," I acceded, ignoring the way the trail of his fingers left my skin scorching in its wake. He tugged me towards the lush settee to the right and I took his arm gently to lead him over to it. We sat, making sure to keep a safe distance away from each other, and I turned to him. "Just promise me you won't get angry."

"I'm not angry. A little insulted, I suppose," and now he looked rather sulky, if the downward slope of his mouth was any indication. I almost wanted to smile at the sight of that; it made him look younger, almost boyish. "Begin, please."

Kicking off my platform sandals, I tucked my legs beneath my lap and leaned against the backrest. "It was your mother's idea – but honestly, she did it with the best intentions so you mustn't blame her," I paused to choose my next words carefully. And, because the truth was still painful, I spun the next best lie I could possibly think of. "After the accident, Evangeline's parents forced her to break up with you. Your mother found out and, to save you from a broken heart, she asked me to play Evangeline."

There was a prolonged pause. And then Kaden's lips quirked up briefly. It was the first smile I had seen from him since we met properly. But it wasn't a smile that swept me off my feet – it was cold, calculating and bitter; and he looked every bit the ruthless businessman the tabloids had made him out to be.

"Right," he sounded scornful and almost angry, his tone shredding my lie to bits. "And I suppose this doesn't have anything to do with the fact that Evangeline's dead?"

He knew.

He knew all along.

I inhaled sharply, unable to help myself, and the look on his face darkened immediately. "Stop. Lying. To. Me," he said through gritted teeth, sounding thoroughly exasperated. "You told me that I could trust you mere seconds ago but you spin lies with every bloody chance you get. I don't know who the hell you think you are, to – "

"I was just trying to protect – "

"I don't need your fucking protection!" He hissed, clenching his jaw tight, "I need the truth; even though I'd already found out the truth moments after the accident, when I called Evangeline's name so many times and she never answered!" A fleeting shadow of guilt passed over his face, which vanished just as quickly as it came, before the expression on his face hardened. "Get out."

I blanched. "What?"

"You heard what I said," his tone was the deadliest calm that sent a chill down my spine. It shattered any and every illusion I had harboured from the day I turned sixteen; flimsy, nonsensical notions about love and romance and a real-life prince who could sweep me off my feet. Instead, all I saw was furious, cynical shell of the man he'd grown into.

"Get out."

"Alright," I returned evenly, fiercely blinking away the ridiculous tears that stung my eyes.

Pushing my feet back into my sandals, I got up and headed to the door. An odd urge overtook me when my hand was on the brass handle of the door and I paused, throwing a brief glance over my shoulder.

Kaden was sitting on the bench, his shoulders hunched and looking every bit bitter about the fact that I'd basically lied to him – twice – and rightfully so. The illusion had shattered, it lay in broken pieces on the ground along with the other fancy, whimsical hopes and dreams I'd discarded after growing up.

But I still felt a painful stab in my heart, the kind you felt when someone you loved was hurting. And maybe I no longer knew what it was that I felt about him, love or plain infatuation, but the bottom-line was that I hated seeing him in pain. Whether it was the time I learned from my brother that Kaden had dislocated his shoulder; or now, when he was heartbroken about Evangeline – the dull ache in my heart was no different, really.

I turned to face him. "I'm sorry I lied to you twice," my voice was soft. "But a very wise woman once told me that the best of lies are meant to hide the most painful of truths. It doesn't matter if you're furious with me and never want to see me again, but don't blame your mother for what she did, because sometimes, the most honest of people would lie to protect the ones they love and – "

I froze, my unfortunate slip suddenly dawning on me, the gravity of my words the equivalent of the gravity that had anchored us to earth all this while. So why did it feel like I was slipping and hurtling out into space, into a void where gravity did not exist?

Desperately hoping that he hadn't caught the unintended confession in my words, I turned to the door, fingers reaching for the handle to yank it open, but his voice sliced through the thick, painful atmosphere like a sharp knife.

"Wait."

I paused, hand hovering uncertainly above the handle. There were sounds of movement in the background, as if he had scrambled up from his seat quickly.

When I turned, I realised that my guess was right. He was already on his feet, his fingers gripping the arm of the settee tightly. There was an indecipherable expression on his face. I didn't know what it was, but indifference could no longer be an apt description.

"What did you say?" He asked, his voice devoid of any emotion.

What had I gotten myself into? Biting my lip, I looked anywhere but at him. "I said I was sorry."

"No, after that."

"A very wise woman. That was your mother, by the way," I babbled, wondering if evading his question was a good idea, considering the fact that he was shrewd as hell and I could evidently spot a lie from a mile away.

"Further down your speech."

"You being mad at me," I offered innocently.

I watched warily when he shifted, slowly making his way to me. He seemed to have gotten the general direction where I was at and was adamant on walking over, despite his careful steps and hesitant fingers that reached out to grasp onto any piece of furniture that might guide him over.

I wanted to help him. But my feet seemed rooted to the spot.

He frowned, lips twisting downwards in obvious annoyance. "I would be if you keep on evading the bloody question. What was that last thing you said?"

"Honest people lie."

He was barely a few steps away from me. "To protect the ones they?"

I looked away, not wanting to see his expression when I told him the truth.

"Love."

I heard his sharp intake of breath and then all was silent. The tension was almost palpable and I wondered if he could feel the anxiety radiating off me. I wasn't hoping for an affirmation or a return of feelings; honestly, it was the farthest thing from my mind. All I wanted was to leave, but my limbs seemed lined with lead and I could hardly bring myself to move away; not even when he took the final step to me, reaching out carefully for me.

His fingers met the flyaway strands of my hair and he twisted them briefly around one of his fingers before he threaded his hand more firmly through my auburn tresses, cradling the side of my head gently.

"You really do, don't you?" He sounded almost curious. "I thought I was reading too much into things when you slipped up before – when you kept calling me Kade instead of Kaden; or when you seemed genuinely concerned for me; or when I kissed you and you kissed me back. But it was real, wasn't it? You weren't faking any of that."

"Either that or I'm a bloody brilliant actress," I mumbled in embarrassment. His blindness was certainly helpful in easing at least some of my mortification at that moment, but I couldn't think of anything else to say. "Look, I'm sorry if I made things awkward between us. I should probably go anyway, since this whole thing's a ruse – "

"You're not going anywhere," he insisted, holding me tightly as if he was afraid that I'd run away from him.

I wasn't going to lie – I was entertaining the idea at the moment. It was only our second meeting and I already wanted to run away from him. Twice. But something in his voice made me stay.

"If it's alright with you," he began quietly, "I'd like you to keep playing Evangeline."

I blinked. A silence settled between us, one that I immediately seized to mull over the exchange we had. Was it my first proper conversation with him? It seemed awfully – normal, in the best way possible.

"What?"

"To humour my old mother," he explained. "Let her keep thinking this ridiculous plan worked. I don't need her finding out that I know about Evangeline's death. She'd send a dozen therapists over and I'll be hounded with sessions about my feelings and deepest, darkest emotions. Even if I'm not sad, I can guarantee that I'll be a snivelling mess by the end of it."

I let out a hesitant laugh. "So you want me keep up this act for your mum?"

"Shouldn't be too difficult for you, I presume?" His lips tilted up briefly, so fleetingly it almost seemed like I had imagined it. "It'll be easier this way. She'll be satisfied knowing everything's working out. When she's not around prying on us, you don't have to keep up an act, of course."

I mulled his words over. It seemed like I was persuaded into lying once more, this time to Adelaide; a lie that would have more disastrous consequences if I were to be caught red-handed. Nevertheless, Kaden's words made sense. If it kept things simple and made Adelaide happy, then it was worth a shot. If it was what he wanted – how could I say no?

"Alright," I acceded at last, "just promise you won't try to find out who I am during this period."

"I promise."

"Thank you," I murmured, before wrinkling my nose thoughtfully. "It's rather confusing though, kind of makes me feel like a double spy."

"If that's the kind of excitement you've been craving for, then by all means imagine that you're one," he sounded amused. I felt his thumb brush against my cheek gently, but the expression on his face was still the same shade of calm. "You just be yourself when you're with me."

Honestly, Kaden?

I don't think I could be anyone else.