HK

Inside, Huening Kai glances at the humble, plain white walls, accompanied by a few pieces of chipped wood furniture.

To be honest, being a member of HUEGYU has exhausted him. He dreamed of traveling the world with his best friend. And so, they saw endless hotel rooms, stared up at the empty ceiling. Wandered.

They've found a way to bring home to every single place they lay their heads.

Beomgyu chooses the farthest room down the hall, so that leaves Huening Kai with the remainder.

He sets his things down and rifles through his luggage, trying to distract himself from the way Beomgyu drifted in and out of a daze on the latter leg of the plane ride.

He opens his backpack and runs his fingers over a makeup palette he bought in the spring. He's been meaning to tell Beomgyu about it. Just like he's been wanting to tell him an endless amount of things. Confessions. Things that might hurt them both.

He gulps and closes the palette, promising himself to play with it later. Some things just have to remain hidden, especially things involving sequins and glitter.

A pink ribbon falls out of his backpack just as he hauls it onto the nightstand. He stuffs it back in just as Beomgyu rounds the corner. "Kai! I know what we can do. We can get a drink first, because I think that's the reason why I feel close to death."

Kai wants to comment on the older guy's obvious sugar addiction, but he guesses that a drink can't hurt. "Sure, just let me get dressed."

Huening Kai combs his hair, finding evidence of coconut-scented hair oil that their stylist sprayed in yesterday. He breathes in deeply, wondering if a day in Singapore could wash away the desperation within him.

He finds Beomgyu dressed in a black and white varsity jacket that's probably too hot for this weather. He knows, however, that the older man would rather die than be seen with exposed forearms.

He glances down at his t-shirt, chosen specifically to be gray and nondescript.

"Don't you think that, I don't know," Kai starts. "That we should eat something substantial first?"

Beomgyu uses his long lashes and blinks several times at him, positively causing Kai's heart to flutter. "Are you saying that caffeine isn't necessary? We've been singers for five years now. Don't you know better?"

Although Beomgyu is only teasing, Kai wishes he could go back to their debut days right at this moment and deeply embarrass Beomgyu in their first interview.

Silently, Kai follows a humming Beomgyu to the elevator once more. They enter the Singaporean sunshine, following the line of residents toward the nearby Tiong Bahru metro station. On the way, Beomgyu mumbles about bread and egg tarts, while at the same time, the tantalizing scent of pastries hits their nostrils, as if summoned by desire.

They find a small bubble tea stall right outside the metro entrance. "Yes," Beomgyu says. "Exactly what I wanted. Now, there are so many options..."

Kai wants to roll his eyes. He decides to help the older guy out. "There are really only three options. A milk tea, fruit tea, or something blended."

"I knew that," Beomgyu says. "But there are a million possibilities within each category."

Beomgyu's last word sticks with him. He has been put into a category his whole life—well, for a good majority, he's been the heartrending boy who could dive into the hearts of millions.

But what if he would like to tap into the other side of him?

Kai wants nothing more than to hear Beomgyu call him a girl. Rather, a good girl. His number one girl.

He doesn't know when the desire transformed into something so strong. To hear it from Beomgyu would be like jumping into a flame—it could change everything. But it could also transform him, shedding all the old to become a phoenix.

Beomgyu stares at him with a little tic in his jaw. "Kai. Did you hear me? You need to pick something too."

"Oh." He peruses the menu again, even though he was doing so without much thought. "Iced Milo. I think."

"Say it with confidence, Kai," Beomgyu says.

He wants to grind his teeth together, and they've somehow reached the front of the line. "Iced Milo, please. And..."

Beomgyu answers with a pep in his voice. "And I'll take a passion fruit green tea. Please."

Although the people in Singapore use English, and they've studied passionately to become somewhat decent, Kai still feels insecure about using a language outside his first.

They stand back and wait for their drinks. Beomgyu says, "Kai. Have you now decided what you want to do?"

He feels a peace offering form between them. "First, we should head to the Flower Dome. And the Cloud Forest."

"I thought you'd never say," Beomgyu says. "But isn't that the most basic place to go?"

"It is, but it's also the most worth it," Kai says. "In my humble opinion."

Beomgyu mumbles something about him being a smartass.

Since their drinks are taking long—the barista got distracted by a broken blender, apparently—Huening Kai decides to take a huge leap. "Would you ever be in a duo with... a girl?"

"Huh?" Beomgyu wipes at his eyes, probably trying to rid himself of jet lag. "Um. I don't know. I like being in a band with you."

An evident strand of guilt unties in his stomach, turning into a ball, like toxic yarn.

"Why? Are you going to give your role to someone else or something?" Beomgyu teases.

Huening Kai decides to ignore the older guy. But he does think it would be like that. Giving his role to someone else. Being a girl would mean putting death to his old self.

And it isn't even so serious. He doesn't think he would actually put death to his masculinity.

He just wants to hear Beomgyu say those words.

And what does that say about him?