requested by @CathlienSpangl 

description: tommy has voices in his head, but the others don't know. he's visiting phil and techno over the weekend, but the voices get too loud and tommy breaks, causing phil and techno to worry and step into action to help. they're not technically related in this but still a family at heart <3 

angst & hurt/comfort

!!!!TRIGGER WARNING!!!!: self-harm, breakdown, hurting tommy, mentions of breaking things, mentions of violence.

1272 words aeheheh oops

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         one am. one in the fucking morning. tommy couldn't sleep. he was staying with techno and phil for the week, but the voices in his head were getting louder and louder. they wanted him to hurt himself, and others. they wanted him to break things and ruin belongings, or punch a window or a mirror, vandalize things. they all shouted at him until he would cut himself just to quiet them for a day or two, then they would get so loud again. and tonight, was one of those nights, too fucking loud. 

he kicked the blankets off of him and went to grab his blade before going into the bathroom. thirteen fresh cuts on his left forearm, it was getting crowded. some new some old, his arms were covered with cuts from over the years. his legs have cuts too, as well as his chest and belly. he had been dealing with this for so long, he was tired. he threw a hoodie on and went back to bed after cleaning and bandaging the cuts. they bled a lot, but at least the voices were quieter, but somehow still so loud, this was unusual because they're usually much quieter after this.

he sighed, he felt empty but guilty as he fell asleep. poor, 17-year-old tommy. he was too young to be going through something like this. he knew techno had voices, but he doesn't know how he handles them; tommy is sure they're different than his but how does he handle them so well? if only tommy could get the courage to get help... if only. 

it was five am when the boy woke up again, the voices were screaming at him. why? why couldn't they just go away? he groaned, he was tired as fuck. he laid there trying to sleep but the voices were too loud, too loud too loud too loud!! 

he wanted so badly to cry, to scream, to let it out, but he couldn't. not here, not now, not where there's people who care about him. he got up and got into the shower, wishing everything could just stop for one moment, so he could have just a bit of peace in his life. ever since the voices showed up, he's known nothing but noise. too much noise. 

the hot water of the shower made his arm sting, and he winced as soon as it happened. he took his time, trying to get rid of the fatigue, but he knew it wasn't gonna go anywhere. he finished up and got out of the shower and dried off before changing into the clothes he brought with him to the bathroom. lastly, he put his red hoodie on and finished getting freshened up for the day.

by the time he got back to the guest room it was already six, he had wasted an hour in the shower, and he regretted nothing of that.

there was a knock at the doorframe and there stood a tired phil, "why you up so early, mate?" he said groggily. "oh, i just couldn't sleep, also kind of used to waking up early anyway." tommy let out a light chuckle, trying to present himself as alright. "your hair's wet, did you take a shower?" phil asked, confused because it was six in the morning and tommy didn't have any school today. he noticed the boy's off behavior; he just didn't seem like his usual self.  "yeah yeah, i did. i woke up early and decided to shower instead of just sitting there doing nothing." phil shrugged it off and went on with his day.

--timeskip bc this is wattpad and that's what we do here--

tommy made his way downstairs; it was around nine in the morning. the voices were yelling at him, they were so loud, he couldn't tune them out, he couldn't do anything to please them anymore. they were yelling and shouting and being so violent with their words, so hurtful to the young boy. 

"tomms, are you okay?" phil asked from where he was seated across from techno at the table, they were playing cards. 

tommy stood there, staring at the floor as tears started to well in his eyes. the voices were chanting, and taunting him, they filled his head with violent images of his family hurt and dying. gory, bloody images behind their words. 

"s- stop-" tommy whispered. he couldn't see past the images in his head, he couldn't even hear phil. techno picked up on what was happening, as he's been there many times himself. "tommy?" techno rose his voice a bit, trying to get tommy's attention.

"stop!" tommy shouted, he felt paralyzed where he stood, his head tilted down as tears began to flow. too loud too loud, "TOO LOUD!" he shouted and began trembling, "GET OUT OF MY HEAD GET OUT!!!" he yelled and his knees buckled beneath him as his body racked with sobs.

"tommy!" techno and phil shouted in sync, and rushed to him. techno caught him in his arms before he hit the floor. tommy was covering his ears and shouting things, trying to get the voices to stop. 

he buried his head into techno's shoulder as he was sobbing. techno knew he had to help. "tommy, tommy tell me what they're telling you-" techno cradled tommy close and rocked back and forth.

tommy could hear techno, he would always recognize his soothing voice. tommy started telling him everything, just getting it all out. phil crouched beside them and gently put his hand on tommy's arm, to which he violently jerked away. 

phil and techno were worried and doing their best. phil backed off and techno pulled back away from tommy and placed a hand on his cheek, wiping his tears with his thumb, "tommy, look at me.. look at me." techno spoke softly, cutting him off mid-sentence.

tommy was struggling, his eyes shot around frantically as he tried to focus. "shh, shhh, just look  at me, focus on me. i'm right here, what they're saying isn't real, tommy, whatever they're saying, its not real. i'm here, i'm real. i'm right here." techno comforted the younger, and phil got up to get tommy some water. 

techno softly took tommy's hand gripping at his sleeve and held it to his chest and began taking deep breaths. "breathe with me now, bud." he looked into tommy's eyes and finally got him to focus. he over exaggerated his breaths to get tommy to follow him, and he did.

techno rubbed his cheek with his thumb, "there you go, you got it. you're okay, everything's okay."

tommy nodded shakily and looked as phil walked back to them with a glass of water. he knelt on the floor and handed it to tommy, "take a couple of sips, son." tommy took the glass and had a few sips before handing it back to phil. "t- thank you." he managed to get out. his face and eyes were red, he was still shaking.

the boy crashed against techno's chest and the older held him close, rubbing his back. "tommy you know we gotta talk about this, ok?" phil chimed in, and techno nodded. "i- i know... i should've t- told you.." tommy spoke quietly, he was fragile and felt so broken.

"can we j- just sit here for now?" the boy asked, and techno hummed a yes. tommy let his eyes fall shut as phil started stroking his soft hair, "we got you tommy, it okay." phil was worried, he looked to techno and he had the same worried look on his face.

techno hummed a tune and rocked back and forth again. the voices in tommy's head were for once quiet. he could rest. 

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part two? 

-kiwi