So I don't know if you've heard of this headcanon about Grian being one of the SBI brothers.

Now, I'm not really sure from where this headcanon started but I suppose it's for the fact that Wilbur's skin used to look like this-

And this is literally a recolor of Grian's skin, who in case you didn't know looks like this-

Anyway I, being both a good Grian stan and someone who has an almost unhealthy obsession with the SBI family dynamic, adore this headcanon.

It honestly doesn't have that big of a reason to exist but I just think it's a very interesting headcanon.

So I decided to ridiculize said headcanon making a crackfic out of it-

Also this is supposed to take place during Mcc 9 in which Tommy and Wilbur were wearing the L'Manburgian uniform, the thing is that I'm not sure whether the tournament was before of after the Revolutionary War, in the oneshot I say it took place during the war so you'll just have to bear with me on this one

Well that's about it, enjoy this Crackfic I guess-

(1703 words)

=|•°•|=

Tommy bolted through the massive crowd of people hoping to find his jacket before any of the Admins did while cleaning up the arena.

Mcc 9 had just ended and as he was about to leave to return to the Dream smp he realized he had forgotten the jacket of his L'Manburgian uniform and without it the clothing just didn't leave the same impact.

Wilbur was waiting for him at the spawn and he believed Philza and Techno were there too, despite not having to reach the same destination, and he didn't want to keep them waiting for long.

The boy was so lost in his thoughts he didn't notice a player standing still in front of him until he straight up crashed into him.

Tommy fell back on his butt while the other person just let out a surprised yelp and managed to keep his balance.

"Woah, that was quite the crash, are you alright?" The player chuckled and as he turned around, Tommy finally recognized him.

The one he had just bumped into was none other than Grian, a member of the Hermitcraft server or, in other words, quite the big shot.

The younger blond quickly took his hand to get up and nodded to thank him. "Thanks and sorry for bumping into you, it's just that I left my revolutionary jacker laying around somewhere and I really need to find it before the admins clean up-"

"I actually found this jacket a little while ago, is it the one you're looking for?" The Hermit asked as he pulled out a long dark blue jacket.

"Yeah that's actually it! Thank you Big G!" He exclaimed as he instantly took the cloth from the other player's hands and put it on. "I really can't afford to lose this you know, it would just ruin the entire look and make me look more unprofessional! I'm sure Wilbur would get pissed about it too-"

"Oh yeah, I forgot you guys were fighting a full on war on your server. How's it going? If must be pretty stressful." Grian said as he gave the younger boy a simpathetic look.

"Nah, I'm a big man, stuff like this doesn't bother me in the slightest!" He announced proudly, he wasn't sure if he had actually managed to impress Grian or if he was just making a fool of himself but before he could regret his past life desitions the other player started chuckling.

"Oh gosh you remind me so much of me when I was still a member of the Evo SMP. There wasn't one day where I didn't torture any of my poor server mates! I had literally created an empire and proclaimed myself the emperor of the server." He started chuckling more as he went on.

"Wait what the hell, that actually sounds like something my family would say! I really didn't expect something like this from you Grian! I thought you were some peaceful hippie or some shit, not an anarchist!" Tommyinnit exclaimed with a playfully shocked and offended voice. Although to be completely fair, that confession did catch him off guard.

"Well what can I say, everybody is chaotic in their own way, some play little pranks on their friends, some become self proclaimed emperors and some end up doing both, that's just how life is." The avian simply shrugged, his wings mimicking the movement his hands had just made.

"That- that actually describes my life perfectly and I don't know if I should be proud, ashamed or worried about it." Tommy commented before letting out one of his signature wild laughs, dragging Grian along with him.

If it was up to him, Tommy would've went on and on, asking Grian more information about that empire of his, but it was then that two other players approached the two of them, both looking slightly annoyed.

"Hey Toms, did you find that stupid jacket yet? We have to get back to L'Manburg as quick as possible!"

"Yeah and you should know that potatoes don't just plant themselves, I have other stuff to do that is much more important than waiting for you as you chit chat with-"

The two brothers stopped dead in their tracks as they noticed who Tommy was actually talking to.

"J-just hold on a second, since when are you friends with GRIAN?!" Techno exclaimed as stated the avian down.

"I'm so sorry if he was annoying you Grian, Tommy can be a bit overwhelming sometimes." Wilbur apologised as he walked closer to Grian, pushing his brother aside.

"Oh you don't have to apologize, he wasn't bothering me!" Grian swiftly replied.

"AHAH, TAKE THAT YOU BITCH!" Tommy exclaimed triumphantly as he started laughing once again. "It seems that I am not as overwhelming as you-"

A weird silence fell on the small group as Tommy cut himself off out of nowhere as he layed eyes on his brunette brother and the other blond player.

"Hey Will, could you... stand next to him for a second?" Tommy asked, dragging out the last part of his sentence.

"Uuuh, alright...?" Wilbur and Grian shared a confused look but still stood next to each other.

"Techno come look at this!" Techno furrowed on of his eyebrows but complied anyway and boy, did he realize what his younger brother was talking about.

The two's facial features were almost identical, aside from some obvious differences such as their height and the color of their hair.

"Hey Toms, is it just me or does Grian actually look more like Philza than the rest of us do?" The pinkette chuckled jokingly before realizing from both of his brothers' thoughtful looks the weight of what he had just said.

Not only was he Wilbur's shorter clone, with his feathery wings and with his ruffled dirty blond hair he also looked like a younger version of their own father.

The three brothers started exchanging surprised glances as they kept on staring the avian down.

"Can I... Go now...?" Grian finally asked almost as if he was scared that him speaking would make the other players attack him. "I was hoping I could go congratulate False and Ren and the rest of their team for winning the tournament and-"

"Nope, you're coming with us."

"W-what?" Before he could say anything else, Tommy had already wrapped his hands around the builder's wrist and was now dragging him across the arena.

"Seriously guys, I should really get going and-" He cut himself off as he noticed the determined look the three brothers were wearing on their faces and decided to promptly shut up, still silently hoping for either his fellow Hermits or the rest of the Pink Parrots to rescue him.

Unfortunately none of his prayers were headed before Philza Minecraft appeared on sight, he was talking with a bunch of other participants and he didn't seem to notice them at first, unlike most of the other players in the area who were now staring at them with eyes full of curiosity and confusion.

The older player was having a conversation with Dream when said speedrunner cut him off and pointed at something behind Philza's back. "Uh, Philza? You might want to see what's happening behind you-"

The avian did as he was told and he immediately noticed his three sons dragging along what looked like to be a very contrived Grian.

As the three finally arrived there, Phil wasn't exactly sure how to react. "Boys... What the fuck are doing?" He finally sighed.

"We're investigating Phil, and it seems that unfortunately our suspitions have been proved to be correct." Wilbur said as he scratched his chin, shifting his gaze between his father and Grian.

"We're in Mcc, what would you need to investigate? Also why the fuck did you just kindap Grian?!" Philza exclaimed, finally unknowladging the Hermit's presence.

"Uhm, hello...?" He simply replied.

"Well Dadza it seems that after all these years, your secret has finally been uncovered." Tommy started, moving his arms around to make his speech look more dramatic.

"My what now?" Philza scratched his head in genuine confusion.

"You don't need to play dumb Phil, don't worry we won't stop loving you because of this." Wilbur tried to sound as understanding as possible.

"I am so confused-" An uncomfortable silence had covered the rest of the spawn and many players had formed a crowd around them.

"Philza is Grian some kind of secret love child of yours?"

In less than a second, the entirety of the athletes started laughing hysterically.

"WHAT"

"WHAT!?" Grian looked around at the laughing messes all the players had become and although he sounded very confused, there was an hint of amusement in his eyes. He basically wasn't sure if he was supposed to laugh or cringe at the situation he had gotten himself into.

"Philza-  y-you didn't tell us about this!" Dream managed to wheeze out while he was going full on tea kettle mode, barely managing to stand.

"GUYS WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!" Philza cried in embarrassment.

"PHILZA THIS IS A LEGITIMATE QUESTION, THE GUY LOOKS MORE LIKE YOU THAN THE THREE OF US COMBINED!" Technoblade yelled in response.

"Wow G, how come you never told us you were part of the Minecraft family!" Ren mocked his server mate as he and Falsesymmetry emerged from the crowd, both laughing hysterically.

"WHY AREN'T YOU DENYING IT PHIL? WHAT ARE YOU HIDING FROM US?!"

"I can't believe we're actually having a conversation like this one in public-" Philza hid his face inside of his hands almost hoping that if he closed his eyes the scene his sons created would disappear.

"Okay that's it, you just made a fucking scene in front of around 50 people in one of the most well known tournaments that ever existed! We're going to have a talk when we get home " The older avian exclaimed as he grabbed all of his sons and started dragging them forcefully towards the portal.

"Wait Philza how come you didn't deny it?!" Tommy spat out, wiggling in his father's grasp.

"Because it's literally a question that doesn't need to be answered, isn't it obvious what the answer is?" Philza replied as he rolled his eyes and let go off the three players, getting ready to enter the portal.

Tommy nodded in response before turning around and waving at Grian. "See you around, BROTHER."

"TOMMY!"

"THIS IS WHAT YOU GET FOR TRYING TO BE MYSTERIOUS AND NOT DENYING STUFF BITCH"

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Honestly I'm not super proud of this one but meh, I've already written it and I don't have nearly enough inspiration to make it any better so this is what you'll get-

Also this is my first school night and it's 1:19 am as I'm writing this so now I'm gonna go to sleep

Peace out noobs