I'm completely out of inspiration so here are some SBI incorrect Quotes, hope you enjoy even though this is an extremely lazy excuse for an actual oneshot

•°•°•

Philza: Hello people who do not live here anymore

Techno: Hello

Tommy: Sup

Wilbur: Hey

Philza: I gave you the key for emergencies

Wilbur: We were out of Doritos

•°•°•

Tommy: Surgery is just stabbing people to life

Wilbur: Please, never become a surgeon

•°•°•

Techno: I've looked everywhere for my cape, and I can't find it!

Philza: Everywhere you say?

Techno: Yes

Philza: *opens the drawer and pulls out a cape*

Techno: I swear that drawer was not there a minute ago

•°•°•

Tommy: You read my diary?!

Techno: At first I didn't know it was your diary, I thought it was a very sad handwritten novel

•°•°•

Wilbur: You wanna see how hardcore I am?

Wilbur: *punches a wall*

Wilbur: Take me to the hospital

•°•°•

Tubbo: Hi welcome to Applebee, would you like apples or bees?

Philza: B-bees?

Tubbo: HE HAS SELECTED BEES

Philza: W-wait-

Tommy: *walks in with a jar of bees*

Philza: WAIT

•°•°•

Tommy: Let's play a game

Wilbur: Sure, I spy with my little eye someone who needs to shut the fuck up

Tommy: Is it me?

Wilbur: It's always you

•°•°•

Tommy: You guys are losers

Techno: Why are you sitting with us then?

Tommy: Because I have no friends

•°•°•

Philza: You sure about this?

Tommy: Have I ever let you down?

Philza: All the time

Tommy: What?

Philza: You're very unreliable. It's like one of the hallmarks of your personality

Tommy: You're not remembering all the times I've been awesome

•°•°•

Wilbur: I'm gonna play a song for you right now. It's called "Life with my family"

Wilbur: *takes a deep breath and bangs the cymbal*

Wilbur: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

•°•°•

Wilbur: You passed out, what do you remember

Tommy: Just the ambulance ride

Techno: We didn't take an ambulance, we drove you

Tommy: But I heard a siren

Techno: That was Phil

Philza: Sorry, I was nervous

•°•°•

Wilbur: Onion rings are just vegetable doughnuts

Philza: Sure they are, Will

Wilbur: Your stomach thinks are potatoes are mashed

Philza: Okay-

Wilbur: Lasagna is just spaghetti flavored cake

Philza: Wilbur, please stop

Tommy, fascinated: No, continue please

•°•°•

Philza: My son is too tall for me to stroke his hair. What should I do?

Tommy: Punch him in the stomach. Then, when he doubles in pain you can pet him

Techno: Dropkick him

Wilbur: JUST ASK ME TO LEAN DOWN

•°•°•

Techno: There's no I in team but there's one in pizza

Tommy: So you're not going to share

Techno: I'm not going to share

•°•°•

Techno: Here's a fun idea for Christmas. We'll hang mistletoes, but instead of kissing, you have to fight whoever else is underneath

Philza: We're not going to do that

Tommy: Mislefoe

Philza: Tommy no-

•°•°•

Wilbur to Tommy: I dare you to-

Philza: Tommy can't accept dares

Tommy: Apparently I have "no regard for my personal safety"

•°•°•

Niki: So what's it like being Techno's brother?

Wilbur: Once I asked him for a glass of water while he was mad at me and he brought me a glass of ice and said "wait"

•°•°•

Philza: You're smiling, did something good happen?

Techno: I can't smile just because I feel like it?

Wilbur: Tommy tripped and face planted the ground

•°•°•

Tommy: You tricked me!

Techno: No, I merely deceived you, "tricked" makes it sound like we have a playful relationship

•°•°•

Philza: I'm at a loss of words!

Tommy telling Wilbur later: Despite being at a loss of words, Dadza yelled at me for the past 45 minutes

•°•°•

Wilbur: Rules were made to be broken

Philza: Yeah, well, bodies weren't!

•°•°•

Tommy: Things have actually been going really well with Techno, our relationship is in a very good place. Last week I said "Did you know the weiner dog is neither a weiner nor a dog?" Instead of saying "Shut up Tommy" He said "okay"

•°•°•

Wilbur: *accidentally hits Techno in the face*

Also Wilbur:  *trying to decide between saying "I'm fucking sorry" and "are you okay?"*

Wilbur: ARE YOU FUCKING SORRY?!

•°•°•

Techno: HYDRATE OR DIE-DRATE

Techno: *aggresively throws water bottles*

Philza: He's trying to yell well being into us

Techno: I APPRECIATE ALL OF YOU

Wilbur: *sobbing* it's working

•°•°•

Tommy: Why is dad always doing the loundry so loudly?

Techno: So everyone knows that no one helps in this house

Philza: *aggressively slams the washing machine shut*

•°•°•

Wilbur: I'm not doing so well, I have this headache that comes and goes-

Tommy: *walks in*

Wilbur: There it is again!

•°•°•

Wilbur: I really don't think you should drink more coffee today

Techno: Coffee cures depression

Wilbur: It doesn't work like that-

Techno: MORE ESPRESSO LESS DEPRESSO

•°•°•

Philza: Aww, there's nothing better than seeing your children bond!

Young Wilbur to a little Tommy: If someone kidnapped you I would track you until the end of the world and beat the shit out of everyone in my way

Young Techno to a little Tommy: If someone hurt you I would make them write an apology to you with their own blood

•°•°•

Tommy: Quick, hug me!

Philza: *hugs Tommy* What now?

Tommy: Nothing, I just wanted you to hug me

•°•°•

Techno: The glass is half empty

Wilbur: I think the glass if half full

Tommy: I think you're full of shit

•°•°•

Tommy: Why would someone want to hurt me?

Wilbur: Maybe because they actually met you?

•°•°•

Techno: Don't worry, I have a few knives up my sleeve

Tommy: Did you mean tricks...?

Philza: He didn't

Techno pulling out some knifes: I didn't

•°•°•

Techno: Since it's impossible to know which part of my life is the middle, I decided to be in an ongoing crisis

•°•°•

Tommy: You're pretty dumb

Wilbur: Thanks

Tommy: Why are you thanking me, I just insulted you

Wilbur: All I heard was "You're pretty", I'm focusing on the positive parts of life

•°•°•

Philza: I'm having a problem with this person-

Techno: Kill them

Philza: NO

Techno: Then I will kill them for you

•°•°•

Tommy: You remind me of the ocean

Techno: Is it because I'm deep and mysterious?

Tommy: No, you're salty and you scare people

•°•°•

Tommy: I got in a fight

Philza: What happened? And you're grounded

Tommy: Dream asked all the idiots to stand up

Philza: And...?

Tommy: I stood up and said I didn't want him to be alone

Philza: You're ungrounded, you just made my day and Techno is on the floor laughing

•°•°•

Techno: What did I ever do to you?

Tommy: You helped our insane brother blow up a nation which drove him even deeper into his insanity which brought to our father stabbing him to death and you summoned two Withers who could've killed everyone

Techno: Aside from that

•°•°•

Tommy: You know, I'm very jealous of you

Wilbur: Why?

Tommy: Your little brother is way cooler than mine!

Wilbur: Wait aren't you my- OH I SEE WHAT YOU DID THERE YOU LITTLE SHIT

•°•°•

Philza: Please Techno, I love you!

Techno: I'm sorry but I have no other choice...

Philza: Think about all the good times we've had together!

Techno: I'm so sorry

Techno: *places +4 card*

Tommy and Wilbur: *dramatic gasp*

Techno: Uno

•°•°•

Wilbur: So how's the poggest (not sure if it's an actual word, it is now lol) person I know doing today?

Tommy: I don't know, how are you?

Wilbur: *sobbing* I'm good thanks