namjoon focus

[GROUP CHAT: hoseok, seokjin, jimin and yourself]

namjoon: aw our coconut is so worried about his date tomorrow

seokjin: he's going on a date? with who?
seokjin: also namjoon, it's nearly one in the morning wyd

namjoon: yeah he's going on a date with taehyung

seokjin: whut

hoseok: whut

jimin: whut

hoseok: wHEN DID THIS HAPPEN

jimin: hOW COME I DONT KNOW THIS
jimin: WHEN DID IT HAPPEN???

namjoon: well not yet
namjoon: jungkook's trying to win him over and get him to date him
namjoon: after he rejected taehyung's confession in high school
namjoon: isn't that cute

seokjin: ????? taehyung confessed to jungkook in high school
seokjin: when did this happen???

jimin: jungkook rejected taehyung?
jimin:  (# ﾟДﾟ)
jimin: what the helL

namjoon: yeh taehyung had a crush on him but jungkook was straight and rejected tae, the fucker.
namjoon: but now he likes taehyung and wants to date him but tae's unsure about dating him so jungkook is doing this bet to get him to date him
namjoon: a bet where he takes tae on dates and does boyfriend shit with him to convince him to properly date him
namjoon: you guys didn't know?

seokjin: wow that's a lot to read
seokjin: but aw

jimin: this is completely new to me wth
jimin: damn
jimin: kooktae
jimin: or taekook woah

hoseok: woah

seokjin: woah

seokjin: but why didn't taehyung tell me any of this???? of all the people, why you????

hoseok: ^
jimin: ^

namjoon: i actually give good advice hyung😤

seokjin: you once told me to write the answers to my test on the back of my hand

namjoon: it worked didn't it?

seokjin: no.
seokjin: my teacher saw the obvious black ink and made me redo the test and called my mom to tell her that i cheated
seokjin: my mom grounded me for a month and watched over me to make sure that i studied properly for my next exam

namjoon: ah.
namjoon: oops.

hoseok: so they weren't dating back in high school? but jungkook said taehyung sucked his dick

jimin: !!!
seokjin: !!!
namjoon: this is news to me as well
namjoon: !!!

hoseok: you guys didn't know?

seokjin: THEY DID THE DIRTY OML

jimin: WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK

namjoon: he never told mE

hoseok: well i think they look nice together
hoseok: just can't believe they frickle frackled

seokjin: mhm
seokjin: can't believe neither of them told me though

jimin: and told namjoon hyung of all people

namjoon: hey!!
namjoon: yeah, well jungkook's asked me to be the godfather of their relationship not you guys

hoseok: godfather? as in that movie with that mafia boss?

namjoon: nooo
namjoon: as in godparent
namjoon:

namjoon: im gonna help jungkook on their date tomorrow afternoon
namjoon: they're gonna go to the ice rink and im gonna lay low and guide jungkook from a distance
namjoon: ill be like a ninja😌

seokjin: im coming with you

namjoon: what no-

seokjin: but you'll look less obvious if you're there with someone else
seokjin: it'll just look like you're out somewhere with a friend rather than looking like you're stalking a couple
seokjin: besides youre too clumsy to be a freaking ninja

namjoon: o shit true

jimin: i wanna come

namjoon: no way, that's too many people

hoseok: i wanna go as well

namjoon: nO

hoseok: see you guys tomorrow then :)

jimin: see you! let's cheer on jungkook and taehyung!

seokjin: see you guys!! let's make sure to support our dongsaengs from afar  ╭( ･ㅂ･)و ̑̑ and get taehyung to date our kook already!!

namjoon: nO THERE WILL BE NO "SEEING YOU"
namjoon: iTS MEANT TO BE STRICTLY PRIVATE
namjoon: ITLL BE TOO OBVIOUS
namjoon: IK YOU GUYS ARE READING THIS - DONT IGNORE ME

+

yoongi focus
unknown sent a message to you!

unknown: hey so um this really random but
unknown: you know taehyung? jungkook's roomie?
unknown: jungkook and taehyung are going on a date tomorrow and a couple of friends and i are gonna crash their date, wanna come with us? ＾ω＾
unknown: let's go together - it could be fun!
unknown: gosh this is super random

yoongi: who is this

unknown: you're so funny yoongi

yoongi: no seriously

unknown: . . .
unknown: w o w
unknown: im hoseok

yoongi: still doesn't ring a bell

unknown: the guy who you hung out with at the party last week?

yoongi: oh you're the blond dude
yoongi: the one who gave me a packet of cigarettes right?
yoongi: thanks for that man - real live saver

unknown: huh?
unknown: no, i have dark hair but now it's kinda toned down orange
unknown: here lemme,

yoongi: o shit

unknown: attractive, aren't i?
unknown: can't believe you forgot a face as beautiful as mine

yoongi: shit shit
yoongi: you're that guy

unknown: you remember now?

yoongi: oh god, you're that crazy guy who tried to make me skinny dip
yoongi: you ripped my shirt off and threw me into the pool
yoongi: which was ice cold by the way

yoongi has change your contact to
"crazy guy💀💀"

crazy guy💀💀: yeah, well we all do crazy things when we're drunk
(＃⌒∇⌒＃)ゞ

yoongi: you were the only one drunk
yoongi: i was just the poor innocent bystander

crazy guy💀💀: ahem, well
crazy guy💀💀: let's put that behind us and go ice skating together!

yoongi: fuck no
yoongi: you'll probably get drunk and strip me, then use me as a fucking snowboard to slide around the ice

crazy guy💀💀: i don't get drunk often so don't worry! i promise not to use you as a snowboard!
crazy guy💀💀: your dorm number was 62 right? i think i remember

yoongi: no

crazy guy💀💀: oh yeah it is
crazy guy💀💀: it had a kumamon sticker on the door
crazy guy💀💀: ill come and pick you up tomorrow then!

yoongi: oh god no
yoongi: please don't

crazy guy💀💀: good night! see you tomorrow!