We'd made it back in two vehicles since Tyler's car was at the mechanic's shop. He rode with the girls, and I rode with Ethan. I wanted to talk to him about his friends' behavior, but I didn't want to seem like a nagger when I just met them. Plus, he was just as nasty as they were, so I'd have been a fool to think he'd have corrected them.

We crowded the living room in our pajamas, despite it only being mid-day, and watched the movie. I had only heard of the Twilight novels, but never thought to pick one up and figure out what the fuss was all about.

It was a cultural phenomenon at the time. Everyone either wanted to be a vampire or a werewolf, to date Edward or Jacob. Personally, I preferred Carlisle and Charlie.

Ethan put his arm behind my head on the couch and leaned into my ear.

"You okay," he asked in a whisper. His lips were practically grazing my earlobe, so I leaned my head to the side.

"Yeah," I told him in the same hushed way, but I wasn't okay. I've been on the receiving end of bullying enough to know how it feels. That girl may have never found out the vile things they said about her, but I'm sure if she did, she'd have felt bad about herself.

Or maybe I'm projecting. For all I know, she could've been the most confident girl in Julian, California, and she would've either told them off or not given them the time of day.

Angela glanced at us, but her gaze didn't settle at first. She did a double-take when she saw how close we were to each other and smirked.

"Don't you have any shame, Ethan," she asked, and all eyes fell on her. "You and Megan haven't been exes for a year, and already you're hopping onto the next girl."

They turned to us, but only Megan and Amy stared at me. I felt my face getting hot and my stomach knotting at the unnecessary attention we were getting.

Ethan slid his arm away from me and sat forward with his elbows on his knees, cutting his eyes at Angela.

"For the hundredth time, she and I never dated." Megan scoffed at his response. I pulled my lips into my mouth and drew the blanket further up my body. "I don't know what the fuck is wrong with you, but stop bringing that shit up every time you see me talking to another girl."

"She's literally my best friend," Angela reminded him while pointing her thumb in Megan's direction, and he tilted his head.

"Yeah, I know that." Amy brought popcorn to her mouth from the bucket on Tyler's lap as she watched them go back and forth. By that point, the TV was watching us.

"Okay, then you should know I'd be a terrible friend if I didn't defend her." Megan lifted her hand to her face and pinched her nosebridge with her brown eyes shut.

"How is bringing up a nonexistent relationship defending her," he asked, squinting his eyes. Tyler took a sip of his beer and wrapped the other arm around Amy. I later found out that they were dating, but wanted to keep it private because of Angela's addiction to gossip.

"We literally hooked up last summer," Megan finally said for herself. Lauren was sitting in the recliner closest to the TV with her feet up and a blanket pulled up to her neck. She never spoke or gave the scene attention for too long. She seemed more interested in the movie, or she was used to them arguing.

"Exactly," he said, and clapped his hands once. "Last summer." Angela rolled her brown eyes onto the screen as Bella confronted Edward in the woods. "I thought we had a mutual agreement to not only keep it between us, but that we weren't taking it seriously; you said you wanted to stay friends."

Other than Edward screaming about how dangerous he was, it was silent as the two stared at each other. Eventually, she broke eye contact and focused on her socks, like they were suddenly interesting.

"Hello?" He waved his hand up and down in front of her face, then drew it back when she diverted her attention to the TV. "Did you or did you not say we should stay friends?"

She shrugged, and he furrowed his eyebrows. He lifted his hand, gesturing at her attitude while looking at Tyler, who shook his head. It was his way of telling Ethan to drop the conversation, which he did with a huff, but I knew he'd bring it up again.

Angela cut her eyes at me, and I wanted to sink into the cushions. I felt like Bella in the beginning of the movie, except instead of being loved throughout, I was eventually treated like the outsider that I was.

I looked at Ethan as he relaxed into the couch. He took his beer can off the corner table and sipped it. He never told me he was seeing Megan at one point, and he never told me they knew about my time in Greenwich.

The former may not have been my business, but it would've been nice to know what I was getting myself into. I knew nothing about them, but it felt like they were given every detail about me.

In the car, I also wanted to confront him about telling his friends I was in Greenwich, but every time I pushed myself to speak up, the words found themselves trapped under a lump in my throat.

I gave up.

***

The light flicked on and bore into my shut eyelids, disturbing my futile attempt to go to sleep.

Angela and Megan entered the room without waiting for permission, and Angela shut the door behind them.

I quickly sat up and watched them look around, like the room was either foreign to them or they expected me to have changed something. Seeing that nothing was touched, Megan leaned her back to the dresser and Angela sat at the foot of the bed.

"Is everything okay," I asked through a smile. To me, they were acting strange. but I wasn't afraid of them. I wasn't a fighter, but if they were confronting me in that way, I wouldn't have let them intimidate me.

"Listen, I just wanna apologize for earlier," Angela softly told me. I glanced at Megan, who immediately averted her gaze to the closet door and crossed her arms. "Me and Ethan can get a little—heated, but don't take it personally." She spoke to me like a parent after bickering with the other parent in front of their child. Them going back and forth didn't bother me, but I let her finish. "It's just that Meg is my best friend, and I don't feel right sitting back and watching you and Ethan rub your relationship in her face. It's effed up."

"He and I aren't dating." Megan scoffed. She faced the dresser when Angela turned to look at her. We watched her lift the hairbrush and study the bristles like she's searching for hair that doesn't belong. Probably mine. "Okay, I'm sorry your relationship didn't work out with him, but please stop insisting that something is going on with me and him. It's just as juvenile as the constant arguing. Sometimes, I wonder if you two peaked in high school."

In retrospect, I could've left that last part out, but I was so annoyed that I didn't think before I spoke. 

They narrowed their eyes at me, and Megan set the brush down as she turned to us.

"What'd you say," she asked, but based on her sharp tone, she heard me. "Excuse me? Peaked in high school?"

I rolled my eyes onto the door as Angela said to her, "Meg, try to calm down," and stood up. She walked to her friend with her hands out. Again, I wasn't afraid of her.

"Are you fucking serious right now?" She leaned over to glare past her friend's hair. "Us wanting you to know I was with him is juvenile? Telling you to respect my feelings and pointing out obvious signs that you two are a couple is us peaking in high school?" Angela softly urged her to take deep breaths, but her instructions fell on deaf ears. I stared at them out of the corner of my eye, my face stoic. "You know what? Fuck you, Helen. I wish those people at the cult you crawled out of would've," she said, but before she could finish, Angela slammed her hand over her mouth.

She pulled her out of the room, still yelling and jerking forward. My expression didn't change even after they shut the door. I sighed, got out of bed to turn off the light and lock the door, then returned to my pillow.

The moonlight poured in and shined where the entity sat. I had trouble sleeping for fear that it would manifest again. Every time I'd feel myself slip, I'd be awoken by whispering.

The whispering was so fast that it sounded more like hissing, and there were multiple distinct voices; feminine and masculine, young and old.

With a deep breath, I shut my eyes and tried to drift off. I counted sheep and silenced my racing thoughts, but it didn't help. All I could hear were those bush crickets and an owl. The wind blew hard enough for trees to cast shadows against the wall in front of me.

I watched the branches dance like arms, and leaves fall.

I thought of Kristin and a smile crept onto my face. Her voice, her smile, her hair, and personality. If I could go back in time, I would. Even if it meant she'd die again, I'd give anything to speak and laugh with her.

To this day, I wonder how she'd have turned out and who she'd have become. Would we have stayed friends through high school or outgrown each other?

Would she'd have gotten into YouTube commentary, or become a film critic?

Would she have had children like me or stayed true to her desire to spend the rest of her life only with her husband.

My heart hurts knowing these questions will never be answered.

I fell asleep soon after and dreamt of us in Hawaii with three other people, but out of the group, I only recognized Jay. His skin was darker from accidentally tanning, and his jet black hair was swept back and dripping. 

It was like she visited me in my dream, showing me what life would've been like if she were alive.

We visited Cairo, Egypt; Ocho Rio, Jamaica; and Bali, Indonesia.

Jay's grandfather was from Bali, so he became our tour guide. We walked through the streets, tasting local food and buying trinkets we'd lose in less than two months.

I remember the water being clearer than any I'd ever seen. It was so clear, it looked invisible.

As the sun set, we sat by the beach and watched the sky turn shades of orange, pink, purple, then blue. The vibrant fish and huge turtles swam freely amongst sharks like they weren't threats.

It was perfect.

Then I was woken up by firm knocks on the door. I jolted upright, my eyes wide and searching the room in hopes that it was part of my dream.

I wanted to go back to sleep, to be with my friends in my Utopia, but the person on the other side of the door knocked again. They were banging with enough force to put a dent in the wood or wake up the others, if they were sleeping.

I groaned as I swung the blanket off my legs. I walked to the door, my hands rubbing grogginess out of my eyes. I opened it and blinked back when I saw Ethan standing there in casual clothes: khaki shorts, a polo, and sandals.

Before I could speak, he said, "Get dressed or throw on some shoes. It doesn't matter, but have your stuff packed so we can leave," and I tilted my head with confusion on my face.

"What, why?" He shook his head at my question. 

"I don't know why I brought you here, thinking they'd be mature around a guest. I'm so sorry," he told me, genuinely ashamed of his friends. "I heard them giving you shit an hour ago, and I just," he trailed off as his eyes glazed over. He shook his head again. "Let's just go home. Besides, your interview is on Monday and I kinda wanna help you prep for it."

At the time, I forgot I was planning to show up to his job. I was so wrapped up in the mini vacation and adjusting to the mountainside of Julian.

"Yeah, sure," I said under my breath and nodded profusely. I watched him head toward the main area of the house before shutting myself in the room and pressing my back to the door.

I should've known there was more to him wanting me out of the house and away from his friends.