"How the hell did you manage to get us lost?" Mrs Claus brought the sleigh to a stop, hovering in the air above the nighttime city lights. "We were barely five minutes away!"

"With all due respect, ma'am, it wasn't us, it was the GPS."

"GPS-s. Plural." said Ivy, staring ruefully at the screen in her hand. "Where do yours want us to go? Mine says the signal's lost." She put her phone down on the sleigh's dashboard. "I put in Shell Avenue, and - oh."

The screen read Shell Road, Cape Town.

Mrs Claus put her own screen down beside it. The search bar read Where is Robyn's house?

Eiden added his screen, which read Please take us to Shell Avenue thank you.

Ivy sighed. "Guys... guys, no offence, but I'm not sure that's how you use a GPS."

"Well, how do you use one, then?" demanded Mrs Claus. "And where actually are we?"

Ivy picked up her phone. Eiden peered over the edge of the sleigh. "I think," he said, "we're in Australia."

"Perth," confirmed Ivy. "Wrong city, wrong continent, wrong time zone. Okay, I've put in 6 Shell Avenue, Durban. This ought to work."

Mrs Claus's phone vibrated and begun playing Carol of the Bells. She answered the incoming call.

"What is it, Merry?"

Her forehead creased into frown lines at his response.

"Well. Gather the elves. I'm sure Kevin has come up with sufficient defenses. Whatever you do, don't let them mess with the actual Pole. That magic is volatile. With Nick - gone - No, don't you even try!" Her tone became sharper. "You're not a Claus. It'll escape, you know that. Just hold them off - I'll be there as soon as I can. As soon as I've caught Robyn."

She turned off the call and slipped the phone into her apron pocket.

"In 500 metres," intoned the robotic voice of Ivy's GPS, "make a U turn."

Mrs Claus turned the sleigh around, and within seconds they were speeding towards Ava's home.

-------------------

Noel glanced around the pristine hotel room. The bed was made; the balcony door was open; there was a suitcase on the floor, labelled 'Alisha Collins'; and no-one was in sight.

"There aren't any elves on the shelves," remarked Ava. "There's one on the floor, though..." She snorted with laughter.

"Oh, ha ha, very funny," said Noel. He bent down to examine the suitcase.

"Okay. We need to look." said Ava. "We need to search this entire room for any single little scrap of evidence! I once read this book, right, where this detective solved a mystery because of a hair scrunchie. Anything, even the smallest little clue, could tell us where Robyn's exacting her dastardly evil plans!" She ran over and peered behind the headboard of the bed.

"Oh, yes," said Noel, "because there's totally going to be a book labelled Top Secret Guide to Robyn's Dastardly Evil Plans lying around."

Ava yanked open the drawers in the bedside table, one by one. "Yeah! That's exactly what we're looking for! Something like... something like this!"

She waved a notebook triumphantly in the air.

"It doesn't say Top Secret," she confessed, "but I reckon that's on purpose, so we don't guess just how top-secret it actually is." Leaving muddy, crumpled sheets in her wake, she scrambled across the bed and sat down next to Noel. 

The first page of the notebook read, 'Alisha's Diary 2019'.

Noel leaned over. "Where was it? Can I see?"

"It was hidden," said Ava. "Look!"

"No offence, Ava, but I'm not sure this is her secret plans." Noel leafed through the pages. "Rants about parents. Rants about friends. One single dark and dramatic line about sadness. Hand-drawn pictures. Plans for world domination. Rants about movies. Hmm, I'm guessing that's her crush." Noel paused, looking more closely. "Damn. This is some soap-opera level drama."

"Noel!" Ava reached out and took the notebook. "We're here for clues, not gossip!"

"Fine. But, look, I'm not sure you'll -"

"Wait." Ava stopped flipping through the pages. "Sunset Sands, Umhlanga. Hostage location. Google that! Sunset Sands!"

Noel pulled out his phone. "It says it's some place in California. I really don't think we'll find anything."

"Keep checking! I'll look for more clues."

"Who put you in charge?"

"Who found the notebook?"

Noel sighed. "Fair enough. Hey, look at this! Sunset Sands office block, Umhlanga, to be opened in 2020. Under construction by Collins Construction! It's right here, like, five minutes away from this hotel. Collins Construction!"

"What does that-"

"Alicia Collins!"

"Frick! She's there. She has to be. Let's go!" Ava ran towards the balcony.

"Wait!" Noel stood up. "We don't run. We walk calmly out of the building." He pulled a pair of large sunglasses from the pocket of the pink coat he still wore, and put them on. "Okay, this room's locked, so we'll have to climb out on the balcony and into the next room again. But then," he said, "we walk calmly. I'll pretend to be a human adult. We're guests at the hotel, out for an early morning walk."

"Pretty small adult, but okay." Ava held the notebook out to him. "Can you keep this? My pockets aren't big enough."

"Okay." Noel pocketed the diary. "Luckily, mine are, thanks to this magnificent coat you gave me."

She giggled. "It looks good. The pink suits you. Kinda like a neon flamingo. Or - or a popsicle!"

"Great." Noel began to climb out of the window. "Now let's go deliver some vigilante neon-pink-flamingo-popsicle justice!"

Ava grinned and followed him out of the window. "Let's go kick Robyn's butt! And get me off the Naughty List!"

"And save Santa, and everyone I've ever known, and prevent a world war over magic."

"Well, yeah, that too."

They made it out of the hotel and into the parking lot unchallenged, apart from a few strange looks. The hotel was busy, now, with people having breakfast in the restaurant or heading down to the beach.

"Noel-"

"Wait, I'm trying to find our car."

Ava tugged at his jacket sleeve. "Noel! Look!"

"Where on earth did we park it - oh."

Their car was taped off. A policeman stood next to it, talking to the hotel security guards.

"Um..." Ava turned to Noel. "How far is it to walk?"

----------------------

Ivy was a little put off, upon reaching 13 Shell Avenue, to notice the security car parked in the driveway and the policeman, standing next to Mrs van der Merwe, talking to someone over his radio. Mrs Claus stormed towards them, not at all daunted.

The policeman put away his radio and turned to Mrs van der Merwe. "Ma'am, your car's been found parked outside a hotel in Umhlanga. The Beverly Hills. As far as we can tell, nothing's been taken except a pink jacket."

"Oh, thank goodness!"

Mrs Claus cleared her throat. "Excuse me."

"I know," said the policeman, "It's a relief that your car is-"

"Finally! I've been trying to ditch that pink monstrosity for days. Think they'd take the wall-sized photograph of my second cousin's kids as well?"

"Excuse me," snapped Mrs Claus. "Your daughter killed my husband. Where is she?"

Mrs van der Merwe turned to the policeman, who was staring wide-eyed at the sleigh, the elves, and the very angry Mrs Claus. "That's her! She broke into my house and threatened Ava and now Ava's gone!"

She slapped Mrs Claus across the cheek.

Mrs Claus stumbled back, looking shocked. Ava's mom stepped forwards.

"How dare you! How dare you touch my daughter? I don't give a damn about your personal vendetta, you can't just go around cutting through people's roofs and kidnapping their kids, or - or scaring them off, or - Who the hell do you think you are?"

"I'm Mrs Claus, actually! And I'll have you know, your kid was on the naughty list -"

"So what? She's eleven! And what list do you think you'd be on?"

"Ma'am," said the policeman, "please step back. You are under arrest," he said to Mrs Claus, "for breaking and entering, and as a suspect in a missing-persons case."

"Missing persons? Nicholas is a missing person, that's who!"

"You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you."

He marched Mrs Claus towards the police car. Back in the sleigh, Ivy and Eiden exchanged glances.

"Think she needs rescuing?"

"Again?" Eiden sighed. "Probably. On, Comet! On, Cupid!"

The reindeer charged ahead in a rushing storm of hooves and antlers. Well, about half of them did. The other half either stayed still, ran off to the side or attempted take-off. It was rather like eight dogs attached to one leash, inside an explosion of squirrels and sticks.

Ava's mom saw it coming, and darted inside; rather wisely, as it turned out.

"Help!"

"Aaaaaaaaaahhhhh!"

"What the - no - this way!"

"The hell is thi- aaaaagghhh!"

"Get in the sleigh! Get in - not you, Comet!"

Ivy helped Mrs Claus into the sleigh, while Eiden tugged furiously and helplessly at the reins. They careened around the garden, crashing into the house's wall several times before liftoff was achieved. The sleigh soared into the air, zigzagging slightly.

"So." Ivy took a deep breath. "Umhlanga?"

"Umhlanga."

They flew away into the morning light, leaving behind a very confused policeman. Mrs van der Merwe peered out from her front door.

"Well, the good news is, that photograph's smashed."

A/N: I'm back! Slay is no longer on hold (hooray! Finally, I know where I'm going with the ending) and I'm trying to finish it ASAP so I can start working on yet another story idea.

(I know, I know. I seem incapable of finishing stories. Sorry, You Only Live Twice... I'll finish you eventually, I promise!)

It's called 'How My Cat Caused The Apocalypse' and it's a sci-fi comedy about... well, the title pretty much explains it. I also have a ton of short story ideas under construction. Incidentally, head on over to my Instagram (lavenderandrosemary_) and follow me there for more content, by which I mean waiting around for me to get off my lazy butt, get over my writer's block and actually post something. Thrilling, am I right?

Have a brilliant day, my amazing readers! Love you all! (And by 'all', I mean my grand total of five friends... haha, ok, maybe I'm exaggerating. You're awesome, by the way!)

-Lavender 🤍