In a city of endless opportunities here I am a slave to the mafia. I was born into this world it's all I've ever known or at least that's what my father, Emilio Silvano made sure of.

As beautiful as New York is it's also a place of so many unlawful things. It's the very place I was trained and endured a lot of pain in order to become the best of what I am today. From brutal trainings, hands on crimes, and endless beatings by my father I learned to quickly become the best assassin practically anything of what pleases my father. I must admit at first it was hard, which I became very familiar with my father's fists at a young age. Eventually, I became numb perhaps used to it even once I started to be one of the best. The bubbly little girl I once was soon vanished becoming whatever this is. I call it being a survivor because that's all my life has consisted of, survival.

As I get ready for my usual dates of seduction I dress up as I usually do. You see, in this life of mine it isn't just about being an assassin. It's about being whatever your father, the king of the mafia needs you to be. As soon as I hit eighteen I was trained to seduce men my father wanted a hit on. I remember at first it disgusted me having to do what I was assigned to do. All these older men were just so disgusting and perverted, but I had to do it or else I would pay harshly for it. You see, I have no choice in anything I'm assigned to do for my father, for his mafia. You would think being his daughter I would be a princess living the lavish lifestyle, but you're wrong.

I'm the opposite of all that I was never wanted you see. I'm not loved nor valued by my father. I'm just someone he got stuck with and a tool for him to use in his mafia games. Don't get me wrong I once had somewhat of a good sheltered life when my mother was alive. She was the only one that actually loved me. But like me, she was brought into this mafia world forcefully. She had no choice whatsoever. My father kidnapped her while she was attending church on a Sunday afternoon. My mother was religious serving the lord when she came across eyes she had no clue would turn her life upside down.

My father was attending a funeral to show respect for a fellow friend he was in business with when my mother passed by who was attending her usual Sunday mass. My father studied her, observed her, and stalked her every move for a couple of days until he learned her schedule. And just like that, he kidnapped her and forced her to marry him. Everything was forced upon my poor mother even me. As you can guess, my father wanted a male as his heir, but that wasn't what he got. He would of had me aborted, but my mother was able to beg for my life. My father loved my mother even though that love was very dark and twisted.

The day I lost my mother is the day I lost myself truly. Everything changed on me so quick without warning. I've never had a relationship with my father and with my mother being gone I thought perhaps I was going to develop one with him. Which turned out to be completely the opposite of what I thought. If only I knew then what would become of my life I would of ran away even though I'm sure he would of found me despite him not wanting me. But at least I could of said I tried to get away.

At this point of my life, I've lost count of how many kills I've done under my father's order. I remember my first kill, oh man, was that the hardest shit I've ever had to do in my life. I thought I've endured a lot until it was time to take someone's life. His name was Johnny Wilson, a old successful, yet crooked cop that was on my father's payroll. I remember feeling completely nauseous unable to wrap my mind around on what I knew I was about to do. I tried to find ways of perhaps negotiating with Johnny to disappear from here, so I can just say I did it without actually doing it, but like with every mission. It's either me or them and as messed up as it sounds I choose me. Like I said, I'm a survivor.

When I pointed my gun at Johnny's head I could see the fear within his eyes. The both of us were standing in the middle of his living room. He begged for me to spare his life, which made things a lot harder than they already were. I wanted to spare him, but I couldn't knowing the consequences if I disobeyed my father. I learned that becoming numb is the best in order to survive in this lifestyle. So that's what I did I numbed myself and pulled the trigger witnessing his lifeless body drop. I believe I even shed a tear, but I can't really recall. Since then every kill, every beating, and every seduction became easier to do by simply being numb.

Making my way to assassinate a business partner that became too greedy with his partnership with my father. I think back to the time I asked the dark sky full of shining stars if this is all my life was destined for? Is this my purpose in my life? Why was I born to just know endless pain? To kill and do whatever my father assigns for me to do?

Many times I find myself drunk and sobbing on my mother's grave wanting to be taken away from this world. I'm not sure if there's a God like my mother believed there was. So much has happened that I'm not sure what kind of God would allow so much to happen. But all I know is that I can only save myself, which is what I've been doing since I've been left alone.

Once I reach my destination knocking on the door. I place my right hand on my gun ready to pull it out as soon as he opens the door to greet me. Unlike a few years ago, I'm no longer scared nor nervous about anything. Each kill is just a numbered mission that almost has become natural as wicked as that may sound, but it's true. In this lifestyle, the life within you gets sucked out. This life isn't for all and only those living it can truly understand my words.

Just as the door opens revealing my target. I let out the bullet that ends all lives in this world. Bullets that have been around in my life longer than any friendship I've ever had. Seeing the lifeless body drop as many others I've seen. All I have in my mind that perhaps is what has helped me cope with all I've done presents itself almost instinctively.

Another day, I survived.