caregiver : you/mommy

little : chan

~*****~

"come on, channie, this way." you called, the little speeding towards you. "chan, slow down!" you yelled but he ran into you, almost making you fall back onto the other people

you took his hand and pulled him into the changing rooms. "channie, listen to me." he purposely looked the other way, grinning at his own actions.

"bang chan." you said, your voice dropping lower. the little shivered looking at you. "if you keep behaving like a this, we're not getting the wolf pajamas you wanted."

a pout grew on his lips, chan beginning to cry. "noo mama wan' jammies! pwease!"

"hey." you said sternly, your grip tightening a little, but not at all to hurt him, to refocus chan. he whimpered and looked at you with glossy eyes. "if you be good, then we'll get it, okay?" he nodded eagerly, jumping up and down.

"okay, okay calm down little one." you chuckled pressing a kiss on his head and holding his hand as you both walked into another store.

chan squealed at the sight of the trolleys, practically dragging you towards them, jumping up and down again.

"pwease pwease pwease mama we get twolley pweaaseee?" he begged, absolutely vibrating with excitement.

 you laughed at the hyper boy, lifting him into the trolley and letting out a groan as you pushed it into the shop. chan clapped cutely, beaming his little face off.

you kissed his head, his legs swinging back and forth as you carted him through the aisles and picked out what you needed. 

you cooed at his constant cuteness, as he repeated every item you picked out after you mumbled it.

"tomatoes, check.."

"tomato! yay!" he yelled, giggling when you dropped them in the cart. some people looked over in disgust, but you pushed the trolley the other way before your baby could notice.

finishing the shop and lifting a slightly sleepy chan out of the trolley you made your way to the final store.

"okay channie, you've been so lovely, do you want to go get some pajamas now?" you asked, stroking his cheek. chan whined, shaking his head.

"no wanna mama, wan' sleep." he whimpered, leaning onto you. you went soft, picking him up and kissing all over his little face.

"okay bubs, lets head home." you said, walking to your car. the walk was five minutes and on the way there, chan spotted another child eating ice cream.

keep in mind, it was almost his bedtime and having sweets was a no no.

chan whined, his head rolling around on your shoulder. you were carrying shopping so that didn't help. "channie, stop that sweetheart."

he whined louder, bobbing his head up and down on your shoulder. you sighed in frustration, placing the little down. chan yelled, wanting to be held again.

"mama! channie up! up!" he demanded, crossing his arms. you raised a brow, not expecting this behaviour. 

"no chan i'm not picking you up. now stop acting like that and follow me."

"no! wan' ice cweam! choco ice cweam!" he cried, stomping his foot. 

you sighed heavily and rubbed your temples. this day was tiring for you and chan so you didn't know where he had this energy from. maybe it wasn't a good type of energy. "no chan, its too late for ice cream now, you know that baby."

chan whined louder, rubbing his eyes with his fists. "see sweets, you're so tired. now come on lets go home~" you extended your hand but chan slapped it away.

you were very surprised and according to chan's facial expression so was he. chan's bottom lip wobbled and his hands shook, "m'sorry mama! didn't mean hit y-you!" he sobbed out, his entire body now visibly trembling.

he was so exhausted and you could tell. you picked him up again, caressing his hair. "hush channie, its alright. you're not in trouble."

he sobbed onto you, slowly but surely calming down as you approached the car. unlocking it, you put the shopping away, chan's arms still safely hugged around your neck.

you finished, halting in surprise when you heard light snores from your shoulder. you took out your phone and faced it towards the baby who was fast asleep on you, his squishy cheek pressed down.

you smiled and slowly put him in his car seat, a few mumbles slipping past his lips as his head lolled to the side, and his eyes drooping closed.

~

the drive home was quiet and slow. you looked back at the baby who was sound asleep.

what was making him act this way today? chan was usually such a sweet little and really enjoys going out being little and shopping with you. was something bothering him?

you grabbed your stuff as soon as you got in the drive, placing it in and scooping up chan, going straight to the bedroom.

the boy curled into a ball as soon as he hit the covers, a thumb going to his mouth. you grabbed his pacifier, gently pushing away the thumb.

chan let out a tiny whimper, his tired eyes opening. "its okay bubba, i'm just giving you your paci honey." you said softly, sitting next to him and stroking his curls.

he whined and turned towards you, tears gradually filling his eyes. your brows furrowed, picking him up and holding him close.

"channie? tell mama what's wrong babyboy.." you whispered, locking pinkies with him, padding the palms of his hands with your thumb.

he sniffled and shuffled off your lap, sitting cutely just in front of you. he slowly looked up, his red eyes stinging from tiredness and crying. you cooed and re-held his hands, "please talk to me bubs, tell me what's going on."

"i-i .. huwt.."

you were confused. "baby, what do you mean? where does it hurt? show mama."

a small sob left him, your heart aching seeing him in this state. he lifted your hand and brought it to his chest. "hewe .. channie heart huwts m-mama.." he murmured, his little voice cracking at the end.

this was tough for chan to talk about. and that was saying a lot, because with you, he'd talk about anything and everything that was on his mind.

you breathed in, willing the hot tears in your eyes not to fall. your baby was hurting and you didn't notice?

"sweetheart?" the little shook his head, firmly keeping his head downwards.

you lifted his face, cupping it with your hands. he whined but didn't persist against you. 

"baby, i don't wanna see you hurt. lets talk about this, okay? mama doesn't like seeing her special bubs in pain." you said, kissing his head again, keeping your lips there for a couple of moments.

chan leaned into your touch, more tears rolling down his cheeks. "b-but channie not cuwte.. like  i n n i e .."

you opened your mouth to speak but stopped as chan spoke again. "'nd channie not s-smol 'nd p-pwetty wike lixie ethew .." he cried out. you lifted him in your lap again, his arms and legs tightening around you. he buried his head in your chest, crying.

you could feel his little chest shuddering from each breath he took. each of those, your heart broke even more.

you carded your fingers through his hair, hugging him close. "baby, you are so gorgeous. channie is the prettiest, tiniest, cutest baby i have ever met." chan giggled a little.

"ah! see!" you exclaimed, making chan pull his head out of your chest and look up in confusion. you smiled fondly at his little facial expression, "even your laugh is so beautiful honey. anything and everything you do makes me so happy."

you booped his nose, chan blushing a little, sniffling now. "channie is amazing the way he is. lixie and innie are cute too, but mama knows channie is the cutest."

chan laughed again, the squeal of happiness making your heart lift, his arms squishing you harder.

"honey.."

you tapped his cheek. "who said this to you? does mama have to beat someone up?" chan's eyes widened. he stared at you guiltily. "mama beat channie up now?" he said.

your mouth dropped open. "no channie mama isn't going to hit you." you kissed his head again. 

"did channie tell himself these things?"

chan nodded slowly, whining in embarrassment. you sighed and rubbed his back, laying down on the bed.

chan sat on your stomach, fiddling with the hem of your shirt. "look at me please."

the little looked at you with heavy eyes, glittering with tears. you took hold of his fidgety hands and kissed them. "chan, i love you so so much. you are so special to me sweetie. if you ever feel like this again, just talk to mama, okay? like we used to." you said, blinking back tears.

"c-channie thought he wasn't good 'nuff fow mama. 'cause when channie is smol, he not t-tiny wike innie or lixie 'nd mama wikes teeny things." he sobbed out, shaking a little..

chan started to bawl, crying and hiccuping on you. those words pushed him over the edge. you shushed the baby, slotting a pacifier between his red lips and placed him in your arms.

he snuggled into you, making sure he was as close to you as he could physically get. chan locked eyes with you, the pair of you just staring into each others eyes.

"channie is always so tiny, my adorable baby." you whispered, loud enough for the sleepy baby to hear. "only mine."

the atmosphere was smooth, a comforting silence falling on the both of you.

chan's eyes closed slowly, a smile forming on your face. god, he was so precious.

"pretty baby.." you murmured, placing one last kiss on his head. he let out a small gurgle and you hummed in return.

chan smiled. he loved you too.

soft. and smol.