(Part four)

Word count: 3,927 (I got carried away hehe)

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Natasha was speechless. She didn't know what to do after feeling Minho's heartbeat under her hand. She was absolutely frozen; hypnotized by the feeling of his heart beating under her hand. Between the seconds she had first felt his heartbeat until now, Minho's heartbeat rapidly decreased. It went from beating at an erratic speed to slowing down, back to the normal, resting pace it should be going at. 

It felt natural, almost as if the heart beating under her hand was in fact, hers. It felt so familiar and unnervingly comforting. She looked up to speak, but the words got lost once she became aware of the way Minho was looking at her.

His hand was on hers, keeping her hand in place, on top of his chest. In the few seconds of silence that passed, Minho was staring at her. Examining her reaction. He could feel himself relaxing under her touch, causing him to wonder What the hell is this girl doing to me? 

He watched her staring at his chest, inaudibly daring her to look up, so he could get a better look at her face. And suddenly, she did. Minho's eyes first met her wonderstruck eyes, before traveling down her face. The perfect nose, the perfect lips, the perfect face structure, the perfect eyes, the perfect lips. Perfect, perfect, perfect. Everything about her is perfect.

Shoot, he's staring at my lips. Natasha thought, noticing the way his eyes lingered on her lips, eyes and then lips again. And just like that, she felt Minho suddenly tense under her touch. His heartbeat started to skyrocket. 

"Minho, are you-"

The moment she looked up, she no longer needed to finish her question. He was still staring at her lips, but he was now biting his lip slightly. The butterflies in her stomach were having a field day, buzzing wildly. Her heart was already beating rapidly, but it managed to speed up as he tucked his fingers under her thumb and started to caress her hand with his thumb, still keeping their hands on his chest.

But that wasn't all. He started leaning in slowly.

"You're unbelievably beautiful." He whispered and continued to lean in.

Natasha started backing away. It wasn't that she didn't want to kiss Minho - in fact, right now at this moment she really wanted to. It was just, she didn't ever want to be one of those use and throw cases. She was so focused on his lips that she didn't even notice the chair behind her.

She tripped over its legs, but Minho was quick. He reached out with his free hand and held her waist. He pulled her closer for good measure, more concerned about her falling again than the situation they were in a moment before.

He turned to check on her, unintentionally minimizing the space between them. He caught her gaze flickering from his eyes to his lips. Now he was finally becoming aware of their position. His hand was still wrapped around hers, resting on his chest (that was now heaving) and his other hand was wrapped firmly around her waist. Her hand was under his, on his chest, and her other hand rested slightly on the back of his neck. Their faces were so close that they could feel each other's breaths on their skin.

Natasha had lost all thoughts of this means nothing to him  and  you can't be foolish enough to give away your first kiss to him, instead tilting her head upwards and parting her lips slightly. She could feel his heart pounding, 

Minho saw this and tilted his head down slightly, following her. Their lips were so close and almost touching.

"Natasha, is this okay? 'Cause I really want to kiss you right now." Minho whispered, scanning her eyes for any restraint.

Even though she was shy as hell, she closed her eyes and stood on her tiptoes, and closed the space between them, resulting in a quick peck. She could feel his heartbeat speeding up once again, making her a bit hesitant before looking back up at him.

Needless to say, Minho was taken aback by her brash action. More. He wanted more.

"So that's a yes, then," Minho whispered, once again leaning in slowly to give her time to push him off if she wanted to. 

He connected his lips with hers and gosh, they were so sweet and soft. He lost himself in the kiss, moving his hand from his chest to cup her cheek, caressing it gently. This kiss was something else. Sparks were travelling down his back and he sighed in content at the feeling. No one has made me feel like you do.

Natasha, on the other hand, her head was exploding. He was only her first kiss, and yet she knew he would be the best kiss of her life. His heart beating rapidly under hers told her he probably felt the same way. She melted under his lips because he just tasted that good. 

The butterflies in her stomach were flying wildly and she just couldn't calm herself down. But she didn't want to. I love the way you make me feel. When she gained her confidence, she trailed her hand down to join her other hand on his chest and pulled on his shirt, creasing the fabric by balling it up in her hands.

Minho finally pulled away, breathing heavily, resting his head on hers.

"Oh my gosh. That was amazing." Minho breathed, kissing her cheek before returning to rest his forehead on hers and closing his eyes. He kept his hand on her cheek, still caressing it softly.

Natasha was flustered, to say the least. Her face resembled that of a tomato. She was also out of breath, and her imposter syndrome started to return as her brain started functioning like normal once again. 

He's just saying that.

I probably wasn't as good as any of the girls he kissed.

He probably found it disgusting.

Minho could sense her unease, and so spoke up. "Do you regret it? Should I have not kissed you?"

Natasha pulled away slightly to get a good read of his reaction before she asked him. "Do you really think that? That it was amazing? That... I was amazing?"

Minho's shoulder's drooped a little. Where was the brave, confident girl he had secretly admired for years?

"Of course. Everything about you is amazing."

And even after that comment, Minho could tell Natasha was still questioning if he was telling the truth, or rather, questioning herself.

"Stop it. Stop undervaluing yourself." Minho kissed her cheek again before continuing. "You ARE beautiful. You ARE amazing. That kiss was the best I've ever had. And you ARE worthy of love. So don't be afraid of loving yourself."

That was too much for Natasha to take. Leaning forward to bury her face in the crook of his neck,  she tried her best to not let tears fall. Out of all the people that she would be okay with breaking down in front of, Minho never was and never would be one of them. At first, it was because she refused to be vulnerable around a 'scumbag', but then it changed into feeling like she had hurt him too much. She didn't deserve to be comforted by him.

"I-I'm sorry." She managed to choke out, her tears dangerously close to overflowing.

Minho was shocked, to say the least. Never did he think he'd see the day her facade fell.

"What for?" He gently stroked her hair, tightening his grip on her waist.

"For everything. For being judging you too quickly. For spreading rumors about you. For not believing you. For hurting you that bad. For driving you to this state. I'm really sorry. I'm the worst. I should have never done all that. In fact, what am I even doing here?" She pulled away from his embrace, turning away. "I don't deserve your forgiveness," Natasha mumbled as she started to walk to the door.

Hurried footsteps followed her, eventually catching up and pulling her back into secure arms. Minho held her as if she would break at any moment, one hand on her head gently pushing her to his chest, the other draped diagonally around her lower back. He rested his chin on her head. Natasha relaxed under his touch, immediately discarding the walls she had put up. She could no longer hold herself back and tears streamed down her cheeks as she quietly cried into his chest.

"That's the thing about forgiveness... it always happens when you least expect it." He whispered.

"I forgive you. Please don't go," Minho said softly, caressing her lower back before pulling away to inspect her face. He brought his thumbs up to wipe away her tears.

"Why are you crying? You shouldn't be so affected by this."

"I-I don't know," Natasha answered honestly, refusing to meet his eyes. She had so much on her mind lately and it just felt right to let it all out in his arms. 

Minho understood and caressed her hair silently as she cried into his chest. When she finally stopped, he once again dried her tears before gently leading her to a big room. Handing her a remote, he said "Make yourself comfortable and choose a movie to put on. I'll be right back." He quickly kissed her forehead before he left, leaving her flustered and frozen.

Of course he has a cinema room. Natasha rolled her eyes, trying to distract herself from the not-so-platonic thoughts that clouded her mind. She scrolled through and found a rom-com she had been meaning to watch, waiting on him to come back.

Minho had cleaned away their plates and was now impatiently tapping his foot, waiting for the popcorn to finish. He put it all into a massive bowl, walking cautiously back to Natasha.

"So what are we watching?" Minho asked, setting the bowl down carefully on his lap.

"Don't I get any popcorn too?"

"Sorry, my bad." 

Minho scooted closer to her and placed the bowl on both of their legs. Natasha turned away to hide her blush, but that didn't help at all, especially since Minho had already noticed. He reached over her shoulder to reach the remote on the other side of her. However, instead of removing his hand, he just kept it dangling over her shoulder as he pressed play. A sly smirk formed on his face as he could see the way Natasha was looking at him in surprise.

Close. He was so close right now.

"Do you always just show as much as skinship as you want, or is that just-"

"It's just for you, sweetheart," Minho said, turning to her and winking.

Calm down. He doesn't-

Minho rested his head on her shoulder, nonchalantly stuffing his face with popcorn.

Friendly thoughts. Friendly thoughts. Natasha repeated in her head, hoping to calm her rapid heartbeat and the butterflies going wild. How was she supposed to last the next hour or so? Just barely, was the answer.

About halfway into the movie, she started to be able to focus, losing herself in the plot. So was Minho, apparently. When the leads confessed and kissed each other, Natasha stole a glance at Minho, only to find him already staring at her.

"Do you maybe want to-"

He was interrupted by Natasha leaning forward and connecting their lips. Her ears slowly turned red, getting a bit embarrassed by the way she could feel sparks traveling down her spine. She shivered slightly as he finally responded with the same eagerness, his hands once again trailing up to hold her cheek. His tongue swiped her lips, causing her to gasp slightly at the burning sensation. He still feels so good.

Minho was surprised once again that she was the one to initiate the kiss, allowing her to take control. It wasn't long before his eyes fluttered closed in pleasure, kissing back with passion. He could feel an electric feeling in his stomach, something he could only describe as butterflies. He swiped her bottom lip,  hoping to taste more of her. However, he himself was not sure and so didn't go further. He pulled away breathless. She's going to drive me crazy.

Needless to say,  the movie was long forgotten. Minho pulled Natasha close, not wanting to leave any space between them. "You can't lie to yourself. That was ethereal." Minho said softly as he gently stroked her hair, Natasha resting on his chest.

"You're right, I can't. You're amazing. Everything fades away when you kiss me."

Minho smiled widely. "I'm glad you feel the same." he cooed, leaning down to place a kiss on the crown of her head.

 "Maybe we should do something about... this?"

"About what?" Natasha asked, innocence lacing her voice. She knew what he was talking about, but she just wanted to hear him say it.

"About... us. A relationship, maybe?"

Natasha looked up at him, eyebrows slightly raised. "We literally started talking yesterday."

"It doesn't have to be immediately, just maybe sometime in the foreseeable future. I don't mind waiting for you."

A smile slowly formed on her face as she turned back to the screen, a light blush dusting her face. They enjoyed each other's embrace until the movie was over, Natasha later excusing herself to the bathroom.

It seemed that our beloved protagonist forgot about her date with Hyunjin.  He knew it too and decided to give her a call, waiting by the school gates. But instead of a bubbly voice picking up the phone, Hyunjin was greeted by a smug, deeper voice.

"Minho. Why do you have Natasha's phone?"

"Because she's with me. Why are you calling her?"

"Because we're supposed to be on a date." 

Was that what she meant when she said she was busy?

"The bet's off. I don't want to play with her feelings."

"What? Are you seriously chickening out?"

"No, I just don't think it's right anymore. She doesn't deserve to be played like this."

"So, does that mean I win by default? You'll move schools?"

Minho sighed. He had just gained a reason to show up to school.

"Yes. I'll move schools."

Silence filled the line and Minho could tell Hyunjin was unsatisfied and confused at the outcome.

"Why are you backing down anyway? You're not the type to do that. Don't tell me you fell for her instead? That's such a clichè."

"At first, I was only interested in her because of the bet. I asked her to tutor me. It took a massive effort to get her to say yes, but she ended up caving because of the money. And that's when I knew I had won." 

And that was all Natasha heard before she saw red. It was like tunnel vision: she couldn't hear anything else he said after those 4 sentences. They just kept repeating in her head over and over again. Translating whatever he said to those 4 sharp sentences.

"But later that night, she was there for me. Sure, she might have been part of the reason I broke down, but she was there for me. And then again today. She came just to make sure I was okay."

"At first, I was only interested in her because of the bet. I asked her to tutor me. It took a massive effort to get her to say yes, but she ended up caving because of the money. And that's when I knew I had won." 

"No one's ever put that much effort in, except for my mum. Hyunjin, I was falling. Hard. They always say that sharing vulnerable moments together brings both parties closer, and I must agree."

"At first, I was only interested in her because of the bet. I asked her to tutor me. It took a massive effort to get her to say yes, but she ended up caving because of the money. And that's when I knew I had won." 

 "But most of all, just her - she is so amazing. Everything I could wish for in a person. I've never met anyone who is as beautiful or as caring as her. I just want to be by her side and hold her and stay up late stargazing, talking over the phone about our dreams - all the things couples usually do."

"At first, I was only interested in her because of the bet. I asked her to tutor me. It took a massive effort to get her to say yes, but she ended up caving because of the money. And that's when I knew I had won." 

No matter what he said, those four painful sentences were all she could hear. Over and over again. She waited for him to finish the call before entering the room, fire in her eyes.

"So I was just a game to you, huh?"

"What?"

"I heard your phone call."

"Did you hear the whole thing?"

"No, but I heard 'At first, I was only interested in her because of the bet. I asked her to tutor me. It took a massive effort to get her to say yes, but she ended up caving because of the money. And that's when I knew I had won.' Do I look like some prize to be won?"

"Didn't you hear what I said after?"

"Does it matter? You clearly see me as an object. I am not a prize to be won. Goodbye, Minho. I hope you have a good life." She quickly grabbed at her phone and ran out to grab her school bag, racing to put her shoes on, sprinting out the door.

"No!" Minho called.

"Natasha, please! Just listen to me. Please!"

But she was already out the door. He hesitated before following after her, his hesitation causing him to be unable to properly catch up to her. But it seemed like she was going to the school, for some reason.

"Hyunjin! Wait up!" Natasha called, a bit out of breath from running. 

Hyunjin turned around, a bit confused. "What are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be with Minho - oh, you both came."

Natasha looked back at the sound of Minho's name. Good. He was here. Time to put on a show. She grabbed Hyunjin's collar and pressed her lips on his. Hyunjin's eyes widened but kissed back the moment he saw Minho break. He would gladly take any opportunity to one-up Minho.

Wrong. His lips on hers after she had been accustomed to Minho's felt so wrong. There was no soft, tingly feeling, no sparks. Just rough, raw, unfiltered rage. A tear rolled down Natasha's cheek as she realized she would never be able to enjoy that feeling ever again. Out of all the guys in the world, why did it have to be Lee Minho?

She pulled away to sneak a quick glance at Minho. He was on his knees, tears in his eyes.

We never dated. I was just a bet to you. You shouldn't be this affected.

His eyes met hers, and for a moment, a very brief moment, Natasha felt a pang of guilt. Minho got up and slowly trudged back to his house.

"What did you do that for?" Hyunjin asked, bewildered. 

 "Because he only wanted to use me to win a bet."

"Yeah, and so did I. Why kiss me?"

"Because I was actually falling for him and hearing that... hurt so much. I just wanted to get some revenge."

"How did you even find out, anyway?"

"I overheard the phone call."

Hyunjin was even more confused... was this the same phone call where Minho basically confessed his feelings?

"What exactly did you hear?"

Natasha repeated those 4 sentences, clenching her jaw tightly after she finished.

"I'm such an idiot," Natasha said, raking a hand through her hair.

"Yes, you really are. Literally, right after that, he said you were the most amazing person he's ever met and that he wants to do couple things with you."

"W-what?"

"He was even willing to switch schools just so the bet was off and he could date you."

No... not again.

"So... I-I jumped to conclusions without letting him explain... again."

"Yes? I don't really know what happened, but sounds like it."

Natasha nodded and just walked off to her home, leaving Hyunjin standing there. She wanted to say sorry, but she didn't want Minho's forgiveness. She didn't deserve it. She was reckless and had done the same thing she was apologizing for this very morning. That's why when her phone dinged, she dived for it. It was Minho.

"So you probably don't want to talk to me..."

"I don't blame you."

"I'm sorry."

"I never should have accepted that bet."

"But I have some kinda good news, I guess?"

"I lost that bet, so I'll be switching schools."

"It was nice knowing you."

"Seriously, you were one heck of an experience."

"No one will ever compare to you."

"I know you wanted to tutor me for money, so I asked your friends"

"And let me tell you, that was even harder than getting you to tutor me."

"But they said you wanted to tutor me because you wanted some concert tickets."

"So I bought you two."

"Go with whoever you want and enjoy the heck out of that concert."

"I want you to just be happy, for that one night at least."

"You deserve it."

"p.s I better ace algebra when I switch schools, or I'm blaming you for being a bad tutor."

And there were the tears she had been holding back. She was the one who hurt him, but he was still being so sweet.

"You have no idea how badly I wanted to text you."

"Hyunjin told me what you said... "

"I'm so sorry. You deserve better."

"Don't apologize to me, please."

"I'm going to let you go because you have a kinder heart than I do, and you deserve to have someone who appreciates that, trusts you, and believes you."

"I wish it was me, but I clearly am not that person."

"You better find a girl who's better than me or I'm going to hunt you down and give you a lecture."

"No one will ever compare to you either."

"Maybe in another life, we would've made such an amazing couple."

"And thanks for the tickets. You didn't need to. I'll go with Chan."

"Thanks for being you, Minho."

"I'll miss you."

"p.s You better ace it, or I'll be mad too."

She never knew that three dots could make her that anxious.

"Stop."

"I know you'll forgive me."

"But I don't want you to."

"Please just leave me on read."

"Okay, but can I just say one thing?"

"If we're really meant to be, we'll find each other again."

"Please don't cry for me that much."

"I don't want you to be sad."

"Likewise."

"Goodbye, Minho."

"Live a good life on my behalf. 💕"

Read 11:30pm

Natasha couldn't sleep. She just lied awake, quietly sobbing.

Maybe in another lifetime.

She looked up at the sound of a knock at the door.

"Chan? It's like 3 am, go to sleep."

"Not before you."

He wriggled into the bed, wrapping his arms tightly around her.

"It'll be okay."

She was grateful she had such a caring brother, crying into his embrace. 

Soon, her eyes were getting heavy and fatigue began to overtake her.

The last thing that flashed through her mind was the text he sent her.

"If we're really meant to be, we'll find each other again."

I really hope we're meant to be.

FIN. 

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Uh so that wasn't the exact storyline that I had planned, but I chose character development (okay we get it, Natasha didn't learn her lesson but she has a slightly viable excuse, but in the original version, neither Minho nor Natasha had character development.)

And what do you think about the book cover? I think Imma change it as each era comes by, we'll see.

Anyway, mini-break from writing for me, I gotta focus on responsibilities now 🙄😭

Bye, and thanks for reading CRY FOR ME - Lee Minho.

I'll be back soon!

(sooner than i'll expect because writing has become a coping mechanism//procrastination device 🤪✌️)