"He's—he's gone!" my voice was like a mouse, but I was conscious that Mum was still at the table next to us. "Harry—"

"He'll be alright, he's obviously upset." Hermione tried to sound reasonable as normal, but her voice wavered.

Fred got to his feet, and still clinging to his jacket I followed suit. "I think this cuts our Hogsmeade visit short a tad."

"We'd best hurry, try and catch him as he gets back in." Ron said, pulling his hat firmly over his hair with a worried expression.

After Fred shoved the last of the panini in his mouth ('What, you did pay for it—I'm not wasting it!') the four of us hurried into the snow-storm, which was getting worse.

My Dad had been the one to sell out Harry's parents. Why had Mum never told me? Why hadn't Dad told me, in the few occasions I'd seen him? Then it dawned on me—they were both ashamed that it'd happened, and I was too

While I was still determined to prove my Father's innocence, I would add another item to the list—prove if he did really betray Harry's parents, or if somebody forced him to.

The journey back to the castle was a quick one, which I was grateful for. Even with Fred's hand in mine and Ron and Hermione's quiet chatter, I couldn't shut my mind off. All I could think was: HarryHarryHarryHarry.

"Harry!" Hermione cried as we hurried through the castle doors behind her.

Harry was stood in the Entrance Hall, with a blank expression on his face. He hadn't seemed to notice he still had a mingling of snow and dirt on his face and hair from the tunnel. Ron gripped his shoulder, asking if he was alright, but he brushed his best friend off.

"I want to speak to Lyra." He said, staring right at me.

"Okay." I tried to inject some brightness into my voice, but it came out like a dimmed lightbulb.

Fred, Ron and Hermione gave us worried expressions but still I followed Harry. He led me into a side-corridor, one that only had an abandoned classroom.

"Why didn't you tell me?" he snapped, fire burning in his eyes. Now that he was away from our friends, he was trembling with anger.

I took a step back. This wasn't Harry. I'd only ever seen him angry in the presence of Draco or Voldemort—never directed towards me.

"Tell—tell you what?" I said timidly.

Harry waved his hands dramatically in the air. "I don't know, Lyra? Maybe the fact that the mass-murderer on the loose—is my Godfather?" sarcasms laced his tone.

Now I was just confused. "But... But Harry, I thought you knew?"

"Why would I have?" Harry cried, grabbing his hair by his fists. "You didn't tell me—Sasha didn't tell me—Aunt Cara didn't tell me—"

"Harry," I said more gently. "My mother is your god-mother. I thought you would connect the dots and guess that Sirius was your godfather."

"Are you saying I'm stupid?" Harry tore at his hair. "Poor stupid Harry, he didn't realise the nutter who killed people and betrayed my parents is a parental figure for me?"

Tears filled my eyes. "No—No Harry, of course not." I reached out for him, and for the first time ever, he took a step back. I could feel tears fill my eyes, and I could see two of Harry. "I—I didn't know he did that."

"You spoke to your Mum the morning after he broke in—did she tell you then? Tell you how Daddy killed my parents?" Harry kicked at the wall, swearing as the sole of his trainers split. "Great—just great! My day gets better!"

Just like with the dementors, my veins filled with ice. I couldn't tell Harry that Dad had spoken to me with gentleness, and how he'd left a note at my bedside... He wouldn't understand.

"No, she didn't." I tried to keep my voice even, even though tears were leaking from my eyes and I couldn't see anything clearly. "I didn't know Harry, I swear."

Harry hung his head like a dejected puppet. He didn't speak for several minutes, opening and shutting his fists. "How can I believe anything you say?" his voice broke. "How can I trust you?"

"You can, you can, you can!" I babbled. "Harry, please—I only found out today, and I'm just as upset as you are—"

"You know," Harry said loudly, interrupting me. "Growing up, I found it hard to trust others... you know the shitty upbringing and bullying will do that. But I met you at the zoo, and again in Diagon Alley and... I thought I could finally be open."

"Harry!" I cried. He was turning around, he was going to walk away, leave me like this. "You're like a brother to me! Please—let's talk about this—"

At the end of the corridor, he turned back. His eyes were burning with hatred. "We're not related. I don't have freaky eyes like you." Then he dealt the last blow. "Leave me alone, Lyra."

It took me a long time to stop crying.

**

The next morning, we were to all head home for Christmas, but while everybody milled around us excited to see their families, my heart was breaking.

I had to watch with agony as Harry hugged Cassie and Kat goodbye, before ignoring me entirely. Hermione and Ron had both privately told me that they'd wear Harry down over the holidays, but I wasn't too convinced.

My optimism and heart had been scooped out of me, leaving my rib cage empty and rattling with nothing positive to think about. I'd never seen Harry so angry—it would take a lot for him to even consider acknowledging my presence.

The train was packed (who wanted to stay at Hogwarts with a potential murderer prowling?) but Cassie, Kat and I managed to grab one of the newer compartments with the comfier cushions.

"I just want my Mum to make cookies when we get home." I stared out of the window. We were slowly moving away from the station, leaving Hogwarts and Harry behind. "And I want to eat the entire batch to myself. Fred be damned."

"Food makes everything better." Kat placed a hand on my shoulder, and then to my surprise got up. "I'll see you on Christmas Day, Lyra. I hope things get a bit easier with the Harry situation."

"Wait..." I frowned. "Aren't you sitting with us?"

Her and Cassie exchanged a neutral glance, but Cassie dropped it first. "Cassiopeia will explain to you, I'm sure." She swung her bag over her shoulder. "See you."

"Stop being passive aggressive—that's not my name!" Cassie burst out. "I had it legally changed to Cassie, and—wait she's gone." She shook her head. "Bitch."

Kat had stormed out and slammed the door behind her, so forcefully that the wood wobbled. Cassie stared straight ahead, her grey eyes full of tears. Yet she didn't make a noise, even when they started to fall.

Instantly I was there, wrapping my arms around her small body. She shook with tears but still wouldn't make a noise—Cassie had perfected crying silently since she'd stopped speaking originally.

"Cassie, talk to me." I said gently. "Please. I won't say anything to anybody. I promise."

She didn't reply, and for one dreadful moment I feared that she might have decided not to speak again. But then she whispered over her shoulder: "I can't. It hurts too much."

For the first time ever, I felt anger towards Katherine. What had happened between the two of them to make Cassie so heartbroken? Was she really that angry that Cassie wouldn't hold her hand in front of her brother.

"When you're ready, I'm here." I said steadily, trying to keep my voice shaking from anger. "I'm always going to be here."

"I know."

Eventually we arrived at King's Cross station, where I had to say goodbye to Fred for now. He was coming to stay from Christmas Eve until Boxing Day (a compromise that Cedric and Sasha had to follow as well) and I was going to miss him.

As I hugged him one last time, I could see through a gap in his arm Kat, who was walking off with her Auntie. Kat's expression was as blank as it was when I first met her. I couldn't help wondering what had happened between Cassie and her.

"Girls!" Mum's voice rang out on the station, and even though I'd seen her yesterday, I was thrilled to see her.

"I've got to go now." I told Fred, trying to mask the tears forming in my eyes. I was going to miss him, even if it was only a week apart. "I love you."

Fred blushed from his freckled face all the way down his neck, and it suddenly dawned on me what I'd blurted out.

"Fred, I—I'm sorry, I didn't mean to, oh I'm such an idiot, I—"

Fred interrupted me by gently cupping my face in his hands, like I was a precious diamond that could crumble under his touch. He kissed me, and it was so soft, and so gentle all my worries seemed to melt away like snowflakes under my feet.

"I love you too." His smile was brighter than the sun. "I wanted to say it to you so many times, Lyra, I just—I didn't want to scare you off. I know how hard it was waking up after a year, and I loved you for that whole time and—"

I kissed him on his nose, his lips and cheeks, not caring one little bit that there were hundreds of students and parents milling around us.

"I love you I love you I love you." The words were bright on my tongue and with everything else seeming to crumble around me, Fred was the one constant I could count on, always.

"Lyra!" Mum sounded impatient. "Please detach yourself from Fred—I've left the oven on!"

Fred kissed me lightly on the forehead. "I love you, golden girl. I'll see you soon."

Then he was gone, and Mum, Cassie and Sasha were here in his place. As I linked arms with Cassie ('You're so embarrassing, Ly.') ready to apparate home, the numbness from the argument with Harry was fading.

He loved me.

**

Mum apparated us to just before the clearing where our house was. She looked at peace here in the woods, her smile seeming more genuine and her limbs losing the tension they had in Hogwarts.

"I've got a batch of Christmas cookies baking now," Mum said, leading us through the snow dusted trees. "And I thought we could all decorate the Christmas tree—we haven't done that in years."

Sasha, who was ahead of Cassie and I, gasped. "Mum! What have you done?"

Cassie and I exchanged a glance and hurried through the snow after my sister, our trunks leaving tracks behind us. Emerging into the clearing, I felt happy tears form in my eyes.

Mum had turned the cottage into something beautifully festive. Soft golden lights wound their way around the porch, and crept up the ivy, making the normally ugly green look soft and healed. A large wreath of Holly sat on the door, adorned with roses and daises—Sasha and I's favourite flowers.

"It's perfect." I said softly, as the four of us approached the house.

As Mum pushed the door open, Sooty appeared, meowing happily with a string of tinsel trailing on his back. The warmth of the fires burning happily engulfed us all in a warm hug, and as we left our trunks by the front door: we could see boxes and boxes of decorations in the living room ready to be put up.

"I wanted us all to have a special Christmas." Mum said firmly, taking off her coat. "We've all been through so much this year."

That afternoon was spent blasting cheesy muggle Christmas songs on the radio and decorating the house so festive, that if you took a knife to the house, it would spill tinsel and baubles. Cassie didn't speak that afternoon as she helped us dangle fairy lights and create paper snowflakes to hang from the staircase, but a smile was plastered on her face, which told me not to worry.

This night was different from others, as for the first time ever at home, I had a room to myself. Mum had decided that Sasha and I were both too old to still be sharing a room. With her generous Hogwarts raise, she had bought us each a double bed and re-decorated our bedrooms during the weekends, sneaking away to surprise us.

Cassie and I laid next to each other in my extremely comfy new bed, staring at the constellations Mum had painted on the midnight blue walls which were illuminated by the festive fairy lights we'd hung from my framed photos and posters.

The day had been perfect, and I'd only thought of Harry and Dad once, and that was me wishing that the they were here to experience such a lovely day. I was half-asleep, when Cassie's voice cut across the space between us.

"Lyra?"

I turned towards her. In the semi-darkness I could just see her blonde hair glowing, and the curve of her face. I couldn't tell what she was feeling, and I was worried at what she was going to say.

"Yeah?"

"I think this is the best Christmas I've ever had."

"Oh." Well, that wasn't what I was expecting her to say.

I thought of when we were younger, when she would try to sneak over for Christmas dinner at our flat, before Narcissa gently pulled her away saying dinner was ready. I always thought she just wanted to spend time with me, but maybe it was something more.

"I've never decorated a Christmas tree—the house elves would always do it. Draco and I would definitely never laugh together like you and Sasha, and I wouldn't make cookies with my Mother." Cassie was half-talking to herself. "It happened over Christmas you know."

On instinct, I shuffled closer to Cassie. I reached for her hand, and it was as cold as ice. "I—I didn't realise."

"Why would you? I only told you the other month." Cassie sounded far away. "I think that's why my family don't like Christmas. It brings up horrible memories for them, and it reminds them how I ruined everything."

"Cassie." I was shocked by the harshness of her words. "I'm sure they don't think that—"

She turned to face me, and even though she was looking at me, I could tell she couldn't really see me. "They'd never say to me of course. But I know Draco had nightmares seeing me like that—he still does. Father gets angry around this time of year, and Mother drinks. I broke my family."

Gently, I grabbed both of her hands. Silent tears tracked down her cheeks again. "You didn't. I swear to God, Cassie, you didn't. That—that monster, he's the one who ruined things. He's the one who hurt you."

"I'm sorry," Cassie let go of her hand, and lightly touched the scars on her neck. "I'm not usually this dark, I just... it's easier to say things in the dark. The problem is I tried to forget it happened. But it did. I'll never be okay with that, but... I can't give up now, can I?"

My heart swelled with pride and love for my best friend. There were so many people I knew who would have been broken beyond repair suffering an attack like Cassie did, but for her to still soldier on... she was so brave.

"You should have been a Gryffindor." I brushed my head against hers, blonde against blonde. "You've always been so brave."

Cassie smiled, it was dimmer than her usual smile, but it was still there. A tear dripped on my neck. "The hat wanted to. But then it asked me what I wanted, and I picked Slytherin. I couldn't leave my brother. Dark wizards are usually forged in Slytherin, and I won't let him become one of them."

I thought of Draco thanking me for being Cassie's friend, and for her sacrificing a house better suited to her to stay with him... They might fight like cat and dog, but they loved each other. My mind wandered back to the day in Hogsmeade.

"Cassie?" I said, and she hmmmed in response. "What's happened with you and Kat?"

Cassie stiffened up and dropped my hands like they were something hot. She rolled over so aggressively that the mattress whacked against the headboard and a breeze fluttered in my face.

"Why not you ask Katherine?" she asked bitterly. "She likes to think she's so much better than everybody else."

Ouch.

Whatever had happened between Cassie and Kat, I hoped they fixed it soon. Even though they didn't realise it yet, I could tell they could be something spectacular together.

**

Cassie didn't mention Kat for the next week, and I didn't pry. Whatever had gone on between them was their business, and I certainly wasn't being their owl to carry petty messages between one another.

Cassie was happy enough watching Christmas films and baking with my Mother, but I could sense something within her, that even smiling was a great effort to her. I wished I could help ease her heartache, just a little bit.

Even so, it was a relief on Christmas Eve when Fred and Cedric arrived together on Christmas Eve, both in awe of how festive we'd gotten. They both gasped at the sudden warmth of the house, both of them wearing snow like crowns.

"Wow!" Cedric's eyes were bigger than dinner plates. "I didn't realise you were so good at this stuff, Sash."

"You know me, I was the creative genius behind this all." Sasha waved an arm towards the over-stuffed Christmas tree and garlands of snowflakes on the stairs.

"You sat there eating cookies directing to me and Cassie where to put things." I side-eyed my sister. "Don't show off."

Fred and Cassie laughed, while Sasha scowled at me. "Ignore her, Ced, she's an idiot—"

"I think it's cute." Cedric said, hanging his coat up on the coat rack. "You'll be great at getting our kids to decorate when we chill out."

Sasha went bright red and opened her mouth, but nothing came out. Sensing the awkwardness, Fred clapped his hands together. "So, Lyra! Where are these amazing cookies?"

"I ate them all."

Fred's face dropped into an uncharacteristic frown. "Really?"

Mum's head appeared out of the kitchen with a smile. "She's a terrible liar, Fred, don't believe her. Come on, kids—dinner's ready."

We all feasted on the un-festive (but amazing) enchiladas and nachos that Mum had made for dinner, and we all crowded into the living room to watch A Muppet's Christmas Carol, which had quickly become my favourite Christmas film.

Fred and I cuddled up together on one of the old armchairs we'd managed to salvage from our flat in the Malfoy's, while Sasha and Cedric folded together on the other chair, talking quietly, ignoring the movie. Cassie had fallen asleep on Mum's shoulder and Mum had also drifted off halfway through.

As the last song of the film began, Sasha and Cedric both unfolded themselves from the chair. They were both very giggly, Cedric wrapping his arms around Sasha's waist, his cheeks pink.

"We're going upstairs—do not disturb us under any circumstances!" Sasha giggled as Cedric kissed her cheek. I opened my mouth to reply, but Sasha glared at me. "I will pluck your violin string by string if you even knock the door—so don't you dare."

They hurried off up the stairs, still giggling and Cedric grinning like that cat who got the cream. Fred and I stayed curled up for a moment in silence, before Fred reached for the remote and turned up the film.

He shuddered. "I do not want to think about whatever they're doing up there."

"Me neither." Instead I rested my head on his chest, grateful he was here. We'd yet to discuss our declarations of love we'd made at the train station, but something had shifted between us. Something good.

"Life is like a journey, who knows when it ends?" Scrooge sang to the muppets. "If you need to know the measure of a man, you simply count his friends."

Glancing up at Fred, I stared at his freckled face and focused on the tiny scar that curled over his lip. It quirked as he smiled at the film. He was always so fascinated by muggle films, and always so interested in hearing about mundane things: like emails and oyster cards.

Watching his smile, I felt something warm raise inside my very soul as hot and as pleasing as a cup of tea on a freezing day. If I could spend my whole life with him, I would.

"I love you." I pressed my face into his chest. "I'm so glad you were the one who calmed me down after that panic attack." I realised something. "I think that was the day I started to love you. I just hadn't realised it yet."

Fred took his attention away from the film, and lightly stroked my cheek. "I love you too, golden girl. Where's all this sentimental side coming from? Do I make you swoon that much?"

I thought of how my parents had been together since they had been the same age as me, how they'd had a love so strong that produced Sasha and I during time of war. I thought of how—no matter if my Father was innocent or guilty—they'd been forced apart, both their hearts breaking.

I couldn't imagine that sort of loss. The thought of losing Fred like that... scared me.

"I—I need to tell you something." I said quietly. "It's about my Father."

It was past Midnight when I finished talking, my voice hoarse and the fairy lights above our head so hot they would burn if you touched them. I had told Fred everything: about Halloween, about the Quidditch match and him being an Animagus, the names on the Map and... him betraying Harry's parents.

"Wow," Fred said quietly when I finished, running his finger lightly across the sensitive part of my wrist. "That's a lot. Like a lot. That's enough to fry your brain."

"I know." I said miserably, wrapping my leg around his and squishing closer. "Only Mum knows this—well, most of it. And you, know I guess."

Fred wound a strand of my ever-growing split ends and didn't speak for a minute. For a brief moment, I wondered if he'd shout at me. The idea of Fred shouting was a scary one. But then he said quietly: "I wish you would have told me sooner."

Hearing his disappointed tone was worse. "I'm really sorry." I pressed my face into his pyjama shirt, which smelled like him. "I wanted to—I just—It's so much, I wasn't sure if you'd want me to tell the Ministry—"

"Lyra." Fred's voice was serious, and in the dim light I could count each freckle on his face, like hundreds of tiny constellations. "We're a team. I would never, ever snitch on you—especially to the Ministry."

"I was scared---this is so out of my depth. I'm too scared to tell Sasha. She's so happy now, and she hates our Dad. I—I don't want to give her hope he's good."

"I think he could be." Fred said quietly, which surprised me. "You're really onto something here. This name Wormtail keeps cropping up—that can't be a coincidence. He risked his life to make sure you weren't hurt—psychopaths aren't capable of empathy or love."

I thought of how Dad had visited three people on Halloween: my Mother, Sasha and I. His family whose lives had turned and gone on without him. He loved us enough to try and make us understand the theories and madness in his head.

"He helped create the map as well." Fred added, nudging his head with mine. "If he wanted to kill Harry, he could have done it a hundred times over."

"That's comforting."

"You know what I meant." Fred said gently, pressing a soft kiss to my forehead. "Work with Elijah more when we're back in school. I bet you can crack this."

"I guess..." hope was beginning to blossom in my chest. Other than my family, Fred's opinion was one I valued so highly. And if he thought we were onto something...

"Hey," Fred poked me with his cold nose. "You are literally the daughter of the man who made the Maraduer's Map. No wonder I fell for you so quickly."

My heart began to speed up. "Or was it because of my amazing humour and grace?"

"Something like that." Fred smiled.

Finally, it felt like a weight had been lifted.

--------

A/N Ahhhh!!!

I hope you all enjoyed Fred and Lyra exchange 'I love you'. I thought of so many other ways for them to say it, but then I thought this: in my personal experience,  the first 'I love you' isn't always dramatic and fire and lightning.  Sometimes it's soft and spoken on instict, without thinking.

The next chapter we will see everybody's favourite Azkaban escapee--and a secret about Kat will be revealed! ;) See you all then!