It took us roughly two hours of driving before we spotted the next house and the skyline of the city itself.

It was a hassle to live somewhere far from work and the city, but that hassle meant nothing compared to having to live with neighbours and all the fast-paced, 9-5 racket that came with the city life.

And Sky was not fit for a life in the city.

He's a creative, and someone who enjoyed slow mornings, basking in the sun, sunsets, the night sky, and the occasional trip to his own wonderland. He panicked when we encountered towering skyscrapers and cried when he saw the dirty, polluted city sky.

The city was dirty, and hot, and filled with unknown people. It was undeniably a health hazard too. One of the reasons why we had to move to somewhere far from all these was Sky's medication.

But a one-day trip to relive our first everything wouldn't hurt, would it? And the garden was far enough from the monstrous buildings.

"Did you say something?" Sky sat up properly, rubbing his eyes. He had been asleep for the last hour of our long drive.

"Hmm?" I spared him a glance. "I wasn't saying anything."

"Oh, I thought I heard a scream." He pressed his face against the window. "Where are we?"

"Almost there."

He didn't reply. He was probably trying to figure out something. His silence gave the impression that he was still trying to figure things out, but knowing Sky, there was a high chance that his mind was screaming a cacophony of nonsense.

"Where are we?" he asked again, in a clarifying tone.

"Just a few minutes away from the Sunken Garden. I brought a mirror so we can take a photo of us together."

"So that's why your bag was so heavy."

A few minutes more and we saw the vast green fields. I rolled the window down for Sky and he inhaled deeply, taking a whiff of the grass and greenery. I slowed down as we drove along the garden and pulled over when I saw a nice spot for a little photoshoot.

Sky jumped out of the car and ran. He was skipping, and giggling, and running to his heart's content. Like a dog.

I took my camera out and slung my bag over my shoulder. I watched Sky go farther and farther until he was tired, until he was sprawled on the grass, panting and laughing to himself.

I followed, snapping a few photos before running and meeting Sky in the middle of the field.

He brightened up even more when he saw me running to him. He got to his feet and opened his arms, waiting for me to crash into him.

And I wanted to tackle him down, really. I wanted to throw my arms around him and hold him close for a moment.

But I was holding a camera worth €2,000, and as much as I loved Sky, I wouldn't dare.

I simply met him, wrapped an arm around him, and kissed his forehead, holding my camera tightly with the other hand.

"I thought you'd pass through me, but you didn't," he joked, plopping himself down on the grass.

"Why would I pass through you?" I carefully placed my bag beside him, and took my time to catch my breath.

He shrugged. He pulled me closer to him. He intertwined our fingers and stared at it, smiling. "It's nothing," he said. "Put your camera down?"

I obliged. I set the camera down and sat beside him, our shoulders touching and our hands still clasped together.

"Hey, Blue?" He rested his head on my shoulder.

"Hmm?"

"How long will you stay with me?"

"As long as you need me to," I replied, trying to shake the peculiar feeling that came with the question again.

Sky was just overthinking. He had done that so many times, and had caused too many of our misunderstandings. Or maybe . . .

I brought him here to have a good time and relive our first everything. I was not going to let the dread in the air ruin our trip.

"You can't even recognise my face," he suddenly said.

I felt as if I inhaled the dread in the air and now it's in the pit of my stomach. I squeezed Sky's hand and replied, "I love you more than your face. And even if I can't remember your face, I remember all the little details about you. I think it's all that matters."

Sky was silent.

"This is where you first told me you love me," I went on. "You were painting the sky, and I was taking a picture of you."

He slowly nodded, and I felt that he was still unconvinced.

"This is where we also had our first kiss. I lost you in a crowd and I got so scared . . ." I took a shaky, deep breath. He still hadn't responded, and I grew worried. "Is there something wrong? Is this about the sparkles? Am I . . . Am I not enough?"

He gasped and turned to me, horror in his eyes. "No!" He cupped my cheeks. "No. I'll figure it out."

"What are you trying to figure out? Is there something I need to know?"

"Blue, you . . ." He bit his lip apologetically, as if trying to find the right words. Then he shook his head and forced a smile. "It's nothing. You're here with me and it's all that matters, yeah?"

I pursed my lips and nodded. "It's all that matters."

He jumped to his feet and I had a mini-heart attack when he landed near my camera. "Go and take a picture of us!"

We heard a bus pulling over near our car, followed by a hubbub of middle schoolers. Sky let out a low whistle, curious about the crowd, but I was just preparing to bolt out of the garden and hightail it home.

"I think they're art students too!" Sky exclaimed, his mouth wide. "Oh, would you look at that, they brought a horse!"

What horse? Let's just go home.

But Sky wouldn't move. Sky was so entranced by the art students running along the field with their sketchbooks and pencils, he didn't notice a teacher approaching us.

She had a phone and a worried look on her face, and she directed her questions to Sky, who was probably the more approachable-looking person. "I'm sorry, have you seen this student?"

I didn't bother looking at the picture on her phone. I was not the right person to ask for help when it came to searching for missing people.

Sky tilted his head and answered, "It's just me and my boyfriend here. We hadn't seen any students around."

The teacher furrowed her brows. I thought she'd acknowledge my presence, but she didn't even spare me a glance. Rude. Or homophobic. I rolled my eyes.

"Can you look after the kids whilst I run back to the other bus? I'll be quick." The teacher didn't wait for Sky's reply, she ran back as soon as she finished her request.

"Oh." Sky was shocked. Probably because of the audacity.

I tugged the sleeve of his white shirt. "I'll wait for you here. Go look after the kids."

"You sure?"

"They're doing art. You love art. Maybe you'll find your sparkles."

It stung a little that he would find his sparkles in someone other than me, but I fought my heart that it was okay. Maybe I wasn't just enough to be his muse. What mattered was Sky getting over his artist's block.

"I'll be back," he said, giving me a little peck on the lips before running to the crowd.

I knew we were trying to relive our firsts, but I found it unfair that I had to relive the first time I felt the fear of losing him.

In a crowd, he only had to change his clothes, lower his voice, and deny that it was him because I had no other way to find out that he's Sky, right? But I'd keep looking. I knew I'd keep looking.

I pulled my bag closer, taking out the mirror about the size of my torso. I stared at my face for a while.

What was wrong with us?