[Trigger Warning]

Phil knew Dan's parents knew by the way they collectively stood up as he entered the kitchen. That meant that Dan was home.

"Hi..." Dan's mum said cautiously.

Phil pulled a face like he was going to throw up and shook his head, tears spilling already.

He ran up the stairs and locked himself in the bathroom. He just sobbed and sobbed. He knew Dan would be able to hear him if he was in his room. He deserved to hear him. Maybe he would know how much pain he causes Phil then.

Phil pulled up his sleeves looking at the old, white scars along the side of his wrists. He hated them. But he deserved them. So he decided to make more.

***

Dan could hear Phil sobbing in the bathroom. It physically pained him that he couldn't be there to hold him.

Dan let out a sob that he'd been holding in for a long time and the bathroom went silent. Only for a split second. So short it wasn't easy to catch but easy to lose. Dan heard it.

"Phil?" He called out.

More sobs were heard and Dan started shaking. Phil had a bad past with many things and Dan was terrified. He'd already lost Phil twice. He wouldn't let Phil lose his life.

He jumped to his feet and knocked on the door.

"Phil?" He asked softly, "Phil?"

No response, he could still hear Phil crying through the door though.

Dan sighed and went back to his room. He'd talk to him when he came out.

***

An hour later he was say with his back against the door and his knees were pulled up to his chin. He could feel blood soaking through his jeans and could smell the ironey scent of it. His wrist was throbbing and his fingers were tingly. He picked up the blade that was discarded on the floor and pressed it against his skin.

He felt Dan knocking on the door and saying his name. He smiled. That's the last thing he wanted to hear before he left the earth. He wanted to hear his beautiful boyfriend's voice. He was so pretty. And his beautiful voice calling his name.

As the blade cut through his skin he flinched, "oh, too deep," he whispered finally.