It's October. Meant to be fun. But I've been more and more stressed out.

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The other night, after I put my phone away to go to bed. I was scratching at my ear, the top, inner part, felt dry and itchy.

My hands didn't stop- until I ripped the skin away.

It's painful.

Physically.
And mentally.

————

While I know there are fidgets for skin picking. I'm afraid they wouldn't work for me. Because skin is so unique.
And I have many fidget toys already- but I end up just putting them down and pick at my skin anyways.

Every morning, day, evening, night. Literally tearing myself away. Been that way since I was a toddler...
Barely anyone understands or trys to help.

Sometimes- it gets extremely bad. It is a type of self harm. Yet no one seems to take it seriously.
I just want it to stop... I need it too.

///////

The only time it ever calms down is when I'm distracted and busy with friends or animals...
So you can tell I'm lonely af 😀

*******

And getting threats online doesn't help.
wtf is wrong with people?

This is why animal will always be better.

🫂❤️