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SKIN & BONES
x. LOVE YOURSELF

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LORELAI WOULD HAVE NEVER once thought that moving to Forks, Washington would inevitably change her life entirely. If you had told her that by moving to Forks, she would be introduced to the love of her life, be reunited with her baby sister and father, die, come back to life, develop insane vampire powers, and make friendships that would quite literally last a lifetime, Lorelai would have laughed and tried to check you into a psychiatric hospital.

However, if you had told Lorelai that despite all of this happening, she would still have issues regarding loving herself, she wouldn't have been surprised.

Looking around her bedroom, Lorelai Swan noticed how every single mirror in sight had been covered with a sheet. From the vanity to the full-length one, every single one had been blocked off, leaving Lorelai unable to view her reflection.

She wasn't sure why it was so hard for her to look at herself. Perhaps she still hadn't truly accepted the fact that she wasn't herself anymore. She wasn't that girl who was nothing more than skin and bones. She simply wasn't normal anymore. Why did that bother her so much?

Perhaps it was because when she was normal, things were set in stone. Her life was set in stone. Perhaps this new life of hers was unpredictable. Was that what bothered her so much?

Lorelai stood in front of the mirror attached to her vanity, the sheet still hanging over it.

"I think your problem is your obsession with a normal life. I mean, look at yourself and your life, dear. You're far from normal. You're extraordinary, Rory. Is that such a bad thing?"

The Manipulator sighed as Esme's voice spoke in her mind. "No, not at all," she mumbled to herself. "There's nothing wrong with change. There's nothing wrong with being healthy again. There's nothing wrong with me."

Lorelai was slowly beginning to understand her insecurities. She had been struggling so hard with accepting herself as a human before her life flipped upside down. Now, that she was a vampire, it was like her brain was going into overdrive trying to accept this change. She had rejected the thought of changing into a healthier lifestyle for so long; this change seemed to cause her brain to malfunction.

She was convinced that her life as a human was normal, which it was. However, it wasn't where she was happy—this she was sure of.

"Clinging to your old life where normality once lied is most certainly not the key to happiness. In that life, you were unhappy for a long, long time."

Lorelai was happier in this life. Looking past the little habits she kept from her eating disorder, which made her feel like a normal human again... Looking past the dark thoughts of self-doubt, which also made her feel like a normal human again, Lorelai Swan was happier in this life.

She took the edges of the sheet in her hand, holding it delicately so that it wouldn't budge.

There were so many things in her life that were finally going right for the first time in a long time. She had her father and sister, she found her mate, she had a coven she could see herself living with for eternity, she was coming to terms with her gift—Lorelai had accepted all of these things into her life. Each of these things came to her simply by moving forward, by accepting the peculiar as the new normal.

"Perhaps, maybe instead of normalcy, maybe the key to happiness is to simply move forward."

Lorelai pressed her pink lips together, continuing to stare at the sheets. She was sure that moving forward would be hard. She knew those clouds of self-doubt would send showers to haunt her for years, maybe even forever. She knew that it would take her awhile to get used to eating normally. She knew that it would take her awhile to accept all of her flaws, such as her obsessive desire to protect everyone in her life or her habit of inserting humor into every situation.

She knew that it would take her awhile to completely love herself.

But why not start the road to self-love now?

It wasn't like she was alone... not anymore. She had so many people to support her. While Lorelai had always been a very independent person, especially after her mother kicked her out, she knew she could count on the people in her life to be by her side. She knew these people wouldn't leave her on the streets.

Lorelai took in a deep breath before shutting her eyes. Then, she pulled the sheet off of the mirror. Slowly, she opened her eyes. Her gaze instantly fell on her reflection.

She stared at herself for a long moment, taking in her features. From the point of her nose to her heightened cheekbones, to the golden eyes that stared back at her, Rory finally recognized herself for once. It was like she was staring at someone she was supposed to be—a happier person she had envisioned when depression ruled her life. Maybe she hadn't been expecting the dead aspect of it, but this was who Rory was supposed to be.

She smiled at herself, and then she burst out with laughter.

Was this what it felt like? Was this what the start of full self-love and self-acceptance felt like?

Rory didn't know.

What she did know, however, was that there was dried blood on her lower lip. She shook her head, wiping her lip. "Maybe I should've done this sooner," she joked to herself.

She couldn't believe that the mess she was looking at was what Jasper Hale was so in love with. It was entirely too amusing.

There was a knocking that came from the other side of Rory's door that caught her attention. Then, Bella went strolling into her room.

"Hey, Alice wants to get a head start on the wedding planning and I could really use some..." Bella trailed off. "You took the sheets down."

Rory shrugged. "I think if I was the main character in a book, this would probably be symbolic for something. Like, the start of my path to self-love or something, but all I found was dried blood on my face that no one bothered to tell me about," she said.

Bella laughed and shook her head. "You're so weird," she commented. "But for what it's worth, I'm proud of you."

A smile crept up onto the older sister's lips.

"Do you remember that conversation we had last year when I made fun of you for wanting to get that butterfly tattoo?" asked Rory, folding the sheet in her hand into a square. "And you told me that you didn't understand my eating disorder and that how I should 'just eat'?" Bella silently nodded. Rory placed the folded sheet down. "Even though you didn't understand, thank you for not giving up on me."

Bella smiled at her sister. "I know if the roles were switched, you wouldn't give up on me either," Bella mentioned. "We're sisters. I'm not going to leave your side... ever, even if I never turn."

"Even if you don't turn, I'll make sure the last thing you hear as an old woman is a terrible one-liner I made up on the spot," Rory teased. She walked over to her little sister. "Come on, let's get started on that wedding planning."

Then, the two sisters linked arms and exited the bedroom—the same room Rory spent several nights hating herself in.

In that moment, the world seemed just a little bit brighter. For the first time in years, the eclipse had finally passed.

END OF ACT THREE: ECLIPSE

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AUTHOR'S NOTE:

sorry if anyone found this chapter boring lol i actually really like it. i think it's important to understand that while rory is accepting this new life as an undead woman, she's still going to have bumps in the way. becoming a vampire didn't just eliminate her depression and all, yk?

i also kinda ignored jasper in this last chapter of act three. i really wanted to exaggerate how much rory appreciates family. that love extends to carlisle, esme, and the rest of the cullens and even the wolves, of course. i really didn't want it to look like jasper was the one who cured rory or something yk? of course jazz loves rory and he makes her feel like the happiest girl in the world, but mental illnesses aren't cured by falling in love sadly!

but no worries... lots of #JARY moments coming in act four :)))

so it seems like everything's going really really well for rory. the big wedding's coming up, which means bella's gonna get dicked down soon boyzzzz!

rory is finally happier tho :) i'm proud of my angel :) it would be a shame :) if something were to :) suddenly :) go :) wrong :)

hehe...

good luck charlie.

:)

Revised: January 6th, 2020
PS i didn't revise this chapter at all, but it would've looked weird if i just didn't have this note here lmao. uhhh stan rory for clear skin