Cerita: Liaisons: Catherine

[SPOILER WARNING] Bagi yang belum membaca Liaisons: Catherine dan Jakarta Vigilante sampai tamat, sebaiknya tidak membaca cerita ini.

Cerita ini akan berpengaruh untuk Escapade. Kali ini pake bahasa Inggris yah. Udah lama banget gak nulis cerita pake Inggris soalnya. Kalau mau komen pake bahasa Indonesia boleh kok. Tapi jangan minta diterjemahin yeee. :P

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July 2017

Slamming a large yellow envelope on the desk that Tanjung was working at, Catherine stared at her husband long enough until he looked up. But he did not. Without opening it, he had already known what was inside the envelope.

Divorce papers.

Tanjung sighed. Catherine had been nagging him about this for weeks, even months. After the death of their beloved daughter Angela, she had constantly scolded him about what an incompetent father he had been, how he had failed to protect Angela until she was kidnapped and killed by a group of mobsters, because Tanjung had been attending a meeting with his brother Surya, the CEO of Jati Group, discussing about the MRT project when it happened. And then Catherine had also brought up the disappearance of Jason almost thirty years ago. She knew her accusations hurt him deeply. She intended so.

The truth is, both of them understood that neither of them was at fault. Catherine was only digging up reasons so that she could pacify herself for leaving him. Parents are merely humans -- they cannot watch their children twenty-four seven. Angela had been studying in Sydney for a semester, without her parents accompanying her, except for the first two weeks and then occasional visits from her doting dad, who could not live without his daughter for too long. She had been safe without a scratch. And in the case of Jason -- well, he disappeared mysteriously. Puspa always insisted on a conspiracy she believed, that a mysterious group kidnapped him for unknown reasons, but it had not been proven yet.

"So you really want to go through this, Cath?" asked the husband, with sorrowful eyes.

Catherine pursed her lips. "Yes, I do."

Tanjung sighed again. He opened a drawer under his desk and snatched a pen. He pulled out papers from the yellow envelope and looked at which places he should sign. Without much resistance, he signed the papers.

It was too easy. He should have fought her more, arguing there were other ways besides divorce. But he had run out of energy. He had married Catherine for almost thirty-five years -- whatever she wanted, she would get it. All her actions of blaming him and scolding him were just reasons that she made up. Tanjung was sure she didn't believe the reasons herself. She was only too broken, too pained, too hurt to admit that looking at him would remind her of her children that she had lost. Catherine was never one to confess being vulnerable. She would rather be angry than be sad.

"Done," said Tanjung. "And I won't see you at court." He shook his head and looked away.

"Thank you ...."

For a second, Catherine's voice faltered. But she steadied it again and marched away eagerly.

"Cath!" called her husband. "Can I -- can I just hug you, one last time?"

Catherine stood in front of the doorway for a moment, contemplating what to say. She was as broken as he was. But her pride was stronger. Tanjung did not wait for her reply. He stood up and went to her, putting his arms around her and pressing her head on his chest. Tears streamed down his wrinkled cheeks -- and feeling the warmth and wetness on his shirt, he knew she was crying as well. But she pushed him away, wiped her tears, and resumed her walk out.

"Good-bye," she said, without looking back.

***

After Angela's death, Catherine was hurt most of all. For days, she refused to leave her bedroom. She blamed everyone related to that unfortunate day, including herself. She blamed Tiara for taking Angela to the nightclub. She blamed Tanjung for attending the meeting instead of going with Angela. She blamed the police for being too slow, too incompetent to save people. Last of all, she blamed herself for not being able to protect her children. First Jason, and now Angela.

Deep down inside, Catherine knew she was being unreasonable. But she excused herself. She was grieving. Surely allowance could be made for her. It seemed that two parts of her were taken away from her. When Jason was missing, she had been terribly devastated. But it happened when she was younger. She could never forget him, of course, but she managed to bounce back. She allowed herself to be happy once again, grateful for the presence of Tanjung and the coming of Angela. For eighteen years, she was a happy wife and mother, as well as the proud director of finance in Jati Bank.

But when Angela died, she refused to be comforted. Everyone and everything hurt her, Tanjung most of all. His mere presence reminded her of Angela, because their daughter was especially close to him. Her name, Angela Tanjung Jati, was even a token of his revenge toward his father, who forbade Jason to bear the last name of Jati. When Angela was born, Tanjung proudly announced, "She is my daughter," and named her with all of his names.

"Please, Cathy, won't you reconsider it?" Tanjung pleaded, when she announced her decision to divorce him.

"I did reconsider it, so many times," said Catherine. "I told you, seeing you, and being in the Jati family, makes it hard for me to move on. I need time to recover myself. And the only way is to be away from you."

"I won't forbid you to go. Go anywhere you want, and stay as long as you want. Take years, decades even. But let's keep our marriage in the papers. Just for the sake of my sanity."

"If we were some other people, I would do that," said Catherine. "But as your wife, Tanjung Jati's wife, I can't."

"Why can't you?"

Catherine stared at him. "You know the laws. As long as I'm legally married to you, there are many obligations that we have to fulfill. And then you know the scandal it will cause. And what's the use of staying legally married if I leave?"

"Cathy ..." her husband's voice broke. "You're too cruel."

"I'm sorry, Tanjung," said Catherine. "But I have to heal my heart first."

"What else do you want? We're old. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. What are you thinking of?"

"So you want me to stay depressed by keeping me with you always? To never heal and keep having suicidal thoughts?"

"I can take you to rehab, or like I said, I'll let you go anywhere in the world. Just don't do this."

Catherine shook her head. "I can't."

"Don't you think I'm hurt too? Do you think I grieve less than you? I love Angela as much as you do. Why do you think you have the privilege to torture me like this?"

"Because I'm her mother, and you're not!" cried Catherine. "Say what you want, Tanjung. You're just a father, not a mother. You didn't carry her inside you. You didn't give birth to her. You ...."

Catherine's voice faltered, and her bravado failed her. For all her fifty-six years, she was as vulnerable as ever.

"Please, just let me go," she whispered.

Tanjung threw his hands in exhaustion and exasperation. "Cathy, you're right. I'm not a mother. I'm just a father. But I am capable of loving her as much as you do. I carried her in my arms when she was little. I sacrificed my sleep to take care of her. I ... I love her as much as you do, Cathy. And don't you dare to say that I love her less, just because I'm not her mother."

Catherine sobbed. She did not answer.

"I know you're grieving. I am too. But don't let our grief separate us. We should unite, turning this sorrow into something useful. Angela won't be happy to see us like this. We should respect her memory."

"I will," said Catherine. "Just not with you."

And with her words, Tanjung knew that he could not persuade her to stay.

***

The divorce procession was quick and easy. As the daughter of the late Hans Sastradireja, former CEO of Sastradireja Group, and the cousin of David Sastradireja, current CEO of Sastradireja Group, Catherine did not ask for half her husband's wealth, although Tanjung would have given it gladly. She cut off all connections to Jati Group, even officially changing her name back from Catherine Tanjung Jati to Catherine Sastradireja. Her mother-in-law, Rara, and her sister-in-law, Cornelia, regretted her decision, but they were too meek to oppose the strong-willed Catherine. Her niece, Tiara Suryajati, had been too busy to care, so the news of her uncle's divorce sounded like a bombshell to her.

"But why?" she demanded one evening, in the stately Jati mansion in Menteng, where she was spending her weekend after a tiring week in Sudirman. "You still love her, don't you, Uncle?"

"I will always love her, Tiara," confessed Tanjung, "but that's what she wants. I can't resist her. I begged her to stay in our marriage, and that she could go anywhere she wanted, and stay there as long as she wanted, but she was too stubborn."

Tiara shook her head disapprovingly. "Papa told me that you're always yielding to Aunt Cathy. But I thought you would have more guts to fight and keep her as your wife. What was her reason?"

"That I was an incompetent father, who failed to protect our children."

"Nonsense!" cried Tiara. "You know that's not true. I -- even I blamed myself for -- for Angela's passing away -- but now I realize --"

Tanjung took his niece's hand and stroked it gently. "No, Tiara, it wasn't your fault. You did your best to protect her. You don't have to torture yourself any more."

Tiara covered her eyes with her hands. "But I mean ... if she wanted to blame someone, it should have been me. Not you. How -- how can you bear it, Uncle?"

"Tiara," said her uncle, "I admit, I was devastated for several weeks. There were times I didn't want to get up from bed. Times when I wanted to wallow in sadness. After all, I had valid reasons to do that, didn't I? The love of my life left me, after almost thirty-five years of marriage."

"Then why didn't you do it? What was your reason to go on?"

"I realized, the sun will go on rising and setting, even after she left me," answered Tanjung calmly. "Other people need me. Mother needs me. And you, Tiara, you need me." He looked at her and smiled.

"With the company? Don't worry about it, Uncle Tanjung. Mr. Alfred could help me with that," said Tiara.

"With all due respects, Alfred is not the owner of Jati Group. Being an owner is different from being a worker. Besides, it helps me to keep holding on, if I know I'm useful to someone," said Tanjung.

Tiara sighed. "Uncle, other than Mr. Alfred, you are my father figure, more than Dad himself. You always came to my birthdays, no matter how busy. I thought that you are an ideal husband to Aunt Cathy. If she didn't want you any more," she said with a shrug, "-- it's her loss."

"Thank you for your concern, dear Tiara," said Tanjung, "but I'll be fine."

"I just don't want you to be sad."

"I'm sad because she left me, but I'm holding on to my love for her. As long as I can love her, I will be happy."

"Uncle Tanjung, don't tell me you're one of those silly romantics who think that loving someone means letting them go," grumbled Tiara, half laughing. "I think that if you love someone, you always want to be with them."

Tanjung smiled back. "Well, I had her for thirty-five years. And perhaps, who knows, she'll come back to me, like she did before."

Tiara threw her hands, half exasperated, half amazed. "What a man you are, Uncle!" she exclaimed, shaking her head. "Don't you think a man should square his shoulders and go to win his love, instead of sitting here like a jellyfish?"

Tanjung looked at Tiara with quizzical eyes. "Do you think that, Tiara? If you were in my position, what would you do?"

"I ..." Tiara stopped for a moment, thinking. "If my boyfriend or husband left me like that, then he's not worthy of me.... Wait, you don't think that Aunt Cathy is not worthy of you, do you?"

"No, I don't think so, of course."

"But maybe Aunt Cathy wants you to chase her, like some women do. She wants to see your effort."

"Cathy is not like that. When she says something, she means it." Tanjung sighed. "She's a bit like you. But a lot more emotional and hot-headed. For now, the best thing to do is to let her cool down. Yeah, she is proud and dignified, but she has a good heart. When she's calmer ... then I can probably go to her and see her sometime."

"You know she would, don't you?"

"No, I don't know," said Tanjung. "But she did leave me once, twenty-three years ago. And then she came back. Now, if she wants to return to me again, she knows that my door is always open for her."

Tiara rolled her eyes. "What a weird romance."

"Tiara," said her uncle gravely, "letting go is one of the things we learn as we grow older. Marriage is reciprocal. Both parties have to be willing to stay in a marriage, willing to fight for it together as a team. When one doesn't want to be in it any longer, why should the other insist? The more you cling to it, the more you will get hurt.

"Love, however, is not mutual. It's possible to love someone without expecting them to love you back. And when you love someone without expectation, it doesn't hurt."

Tiara stared at her uncle blankly, understanding what he said, but not accepting it.

"Maybe for now, you think I'm stupid. Maybe you think I haven't fought hard enough. But you'd probably understand some time in the future, although I don't want this to happen to you."

Tiara sighed. "I don't understand you, but I admire you. And let me know if I can do something to ease your pain."

"Thanks, Tiara. As for now, I think only time will heal me."

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[November 14, 2018]

2400++ kata

SUDAH CUKUP ANGSTY BELUM? XD

(Jangan2 koentji angst itu adalah ... bikin tokoh yang sinting. HUAHAHAHA)

Haduh pasangan tersinetron se-Semesta Nusantara -_-

Disclaimer: Opini Tanjung bukanlah opini penulis XD