Yes I am back

Alex's POV

Those slowpokes.

Driving at 104 mph. HA with enough coffee and willpower, I can, will, and am doubling that...

On my pink plastic Sofia the first scooter from the Clarence isle at Walmart. 

Here's how it happened. 

I was bouncing around the back seat of Herc's van and everyone was saying "OMIGOSH JUST SIT DOWN" but you see they weren't going fast enough so I took the liberty of Whipping out mah trusty scooter and jumping out the skylight. For the past 15 minutes I've been gliding around on the highway with a cup of coffee in one hand and my phone in the other. I was SUPPOSED to be looking at google maps but I was farther than ever on subway surfers soooooo

ahem

anyway

BOOM

Ow

I just crashed into the side of the building. The hospital building. I guess that's why they say to not be on your phone while driving. 

"blood pressure higher than average take a bre-"

"SHUT UP SIRI" damn 

I just shut down the only thing that worries about my health

"No I don't"

oh well then

I sprinted up the 3 flights of curling stairs to where the little light on my phone said that Peggy was.

Wait... I was outside the door frame of Johns room. I heard the voice of the most annoying thing in the world and Peggy but... no John. 

"I just don't know guys..." 

oop there it is.

"you have to John!" Peggy squealed

"Yeah I mean you guys are perfect together" added Jeffer-man-thing

Wait. Who are they talking about. Did John find someone else? Does he not care about me? Did I do something wrong? 

I felt my body slide down the wall so I was sitting. Tears began to fall.

"You didn't do nothin' wrong sweet heart" A voice from right next to me spoke. I turned my head. I hadn't seen this face in a long time. It caused me to shed more tears. <y'all it's Marvin>

"Sh-sh-sh-shhhh calm down doll" The figure pulled me into her chest and stroked my hair. 

"I-I keep trying b-b-but I alw-w-ways m-mess up-p" I sniffled

" Now Alexander" she held me in front of her ," Remember something that calms you down. A memory. I'd like to talk to my son and be able to understand him." She chuckled

I thought. "D-do you r-r-remember when-n you would call Am-melia and I d-down for breakfast and then quo-ote someone?"

"Of corse! you would have to guess who I was quotin'"

"Yeah that. Thats m-my mem-m-m-mory"

I hadn't seen my mother is almost 16 years and I still think of her every day. There would be times when I'd be cleaning or listening to music or studying and I'd be thinking of my family and I woulf think of Amelia and sometimes Marvin. I then remember that mom was also a part of it and I only really forget for a fraction of a second. But that fraction of a second makes me feel guilty.

"Dont feel guilty Lexi" 

"How did you-"

"I'm in your mind doll. "

"So this isn't real? It's just happening inside my head"

"Of course it's happening inside your head doll! Why should that mean it's not real."

"Dumbledore. Can you do another mom?" I asked. My voice was getting less shaky

" Of course. Falling down is not failure. Failure is staying where you've fallen"

I thought for a minute. "Socrates" I was smiling. Part of me knew that this wasn't actually happening. My mother wasn't actually there. My systems were failing me because the caffeine intake. But just pretending it was real. It felt happy.

"You do drink too much coffee" My mother smirked.

"What now?"

"I'm so sorry, Lex. I gotta leave you again. Know that I'm always-"

"Your always there watching I get it. Your here in spirit. That's what everyone says." I don't know why I was boiling over. Maybe it was to make it hurt less when she has to leave. That's how I cope with most things. I act like I couldn't care less then hold it in.

"Don't. Your father did the same thing. You'll regret being angry. You cant hold it in forever you know. Now if I were you, I would Let it all out right now with me and once I'm gone, you won't hold it in anymore. You find someone you can talk to and you talk. Let it all out."

It's not like I had a choice. I can't hide anything from my mom, even when she was alive.

So I did. I let it out. I started with the coffee shop. The roommate drama. The party. More roommate drama.People finding soulmates. John getting taken by his dad. Him telling me he loves me.Me ruining a forest. I even told her about the awesome discount I got in the Walmart athletics isle.

"Okay so there's a lot to unpack here" My mom exhales with wide eyes. "Just remember, I love you. I am always there."

"Goodbye mom" I wiped a tear off my face. "I love you more than anything."

"And if I could be anywhere I would be here with you and Amelia always."

She cupped my face in her hands and rubbed my face with her thumb. I put my hand over hers while closing my eyes. 

"No more tears chico" 

"Yo se pero-" I opened my eyes and saw nothing. That's weird I still feel her hand on my-

oh-

It was my hand.

I looked down at my empty hands. I still felt her.She's here.

I'll be strong

Lemme just tune in on the conversation.

John POV

"Just tell him, gosh it isn't that hard!" Jefferson shook his 

"Now your just being insensitive" Peggy added glaring at her friend (?)

"You would know about that" He mumbled

"EXCUSE ME?"

"GUYS" I yelled loudest so I therefore get to speak. Lemme just distract their bickering. "There is no way I will be able to tell Alexander I love him to his face."

"You just did"I heard an all too familiar voice waddle

"A-alex??" Is that actually him! Oh my gosh "I missed you too much"

We ran at each other and collided in the middle of the room In a giant hug.

Tears were coming down my face. Happy tears. 

"I missed you too, Jacky"

#o#

I'm Backkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk

I am invested in this story and I'm sorry it took me so long to update.

I'll try to do it more frequently.

I have some head cannons for Angie and burr and Alex at the mall so lmk if you wanna see them. I might even be able to incorporate them into the story.

 I hope y'all are still enjoying

Live love Laf 

From your probably not favorite author, Lily

1093 words