"love doesn't choose love feels"

My trusty white converse kicked small pieces of rock and gravel as I walked hand in hand with Carson. The opal coloured moon kept the dark night awake, but it didn't dull the colours of the stars.

It was a Friday night; the typical date night and surprisingly mother actually let me go. Maybe she finally understood. Initially there was a slight difference when she looked or spoke to me but the difference was slowly disappearing and things were becoming normal again.

May was extremely excited to hear what had happened. I told her every single thing that happened over the past two weeks or so and it became a ritual for her to squeal and jump on me. She helped with the outfit and because of the chilly winds at night, I chose to wear leggings instead of shorts.

"Try some."

I shook my head again for at least the 4th time in the last 20 seconds.

"Try. Some."

"No fank ou," I answered with a mouth full of ice-cream. I quickly covered my mouth after realising how impolite it was. We had bought some to-go ice-cream and Carson was too stubborn.

"Come on. It's a new flavour." Carson pleaded again.

I finished the last spoonful of ice cream before walking at a faster pace to the bin conveniently in front and next to the footpath.

I turned around to a slight jump when I found a spoon of ice cream dancing in front of my mouth.

I leaned my head backwards but the spoon kept following me.

"Don't make me do it."

My brows creased. "Do what?"

Carson smirked. "Here comes the aeroplane."

"No." My mouth turned into a goofy grin.

"Here it comes..."

I let out a loose laugh at his persistence before turning and dashing off along the footpath.

"Hey! Come back!" Carson shouted and I could hear the smile in his voice.

"Never!" I laughed and continued running.

The stars were like little seeds being sprinkled into the fresh dark soil; scattered unevenly everywhere. A light blue haze flowed against the blackness. The vast endless space held so many possibilities. Bright rays escaped the moon and provided us light.

"See Mars over there? It's the most orange or yellow coloured." Carson raised his arm and pointed at the miniature dot of what I assumed to be Mars.

I smiled. "Yeah, I see it."

"You know what colour else is the same colour as Mars?"

I shot him a blank face and stared at him.

"The ice-cream." He grinned.

My facial expression didn't change.
He pointed at me accusingly. "Hey, you even liked it."

Carson eventually caught up with me and made me try his ice-cream. I didn't admit it but it was pretty good.

"I didn't say that," I denied again.

His arm was wrapped around me and my head was leaning towards his shoulder. I laid next to him and there was barely a centimetre between us which kept me warm against the cold surface of the hood of his car.

"But I know you did."

I shook my head showing that I'd given up. I turned my head to look at Carson as he pulled out his phone from his jean pocket.

"What are you doing?" I asked curiously and glanced to his phone screen.

He held his phone above his face and clicked it on with his thumb. "It's 11:11."

I'd seen people do it on Snapchat. They'd post an emoji or tag the person on their stories. And that person was their person.

"I won't post this but it's just for me," he explained and opened his Snapchat camera. "Smile."

I snuggled closer to him and looked up at the phone. I lifted the corner of my lips softly.

"Smile Hermosa."

I shook my head but listened to him anyway and smiled wider, showing my teeth.

"Beautiful," he whispered and added the time '11:11' with a few heart emojis.

"Why?" I asked softly.

"The photo is for memories."

"No. Why me?" I turned my head and stared directly into his sparkling eyes. "Why choose me?"

Carson chuckled lightly before returning his gaze on to me. "Love doesn't choose. Love feels. And I trust love so it's telling me to ask you something."

I furrowed my brows and perked up.
"It's only the first official date but love doesn't wait. Be my girlfriend?"
Exactly like the first time Carson 'hit on me', I was speechless and the words hadn't processed yet. My mind was like a clockwork machine with multiple functions working at once and yet still, my mind stayed blank and I couldn't conclude with a final answer.

This year had been so different from the last and to think only one boy could do that. And that boy was Carson. The first boy to ever like me. The first boy to ask me out. And the first boy to ask for a relationship.
I knew I had feelings for him too and like he said before; he trusts love so I should too.

"Yes," I breathed.

He used his arm to bring me closer. Our noses were mere inches apart and I could feel his light breath on my lips. His soft hand slowly snuck behind my neck and rested there. We were so close that I could analyse the smooth features of his face. His thick arched brows hung over his hazel eyes. Flickers of gold and white pranced around majestically and his kissable lips laid dangerously close to mine.

The hand that was resting behind my neck made a movement to pull me in closer and I didn't resist. Our noses were now touching and his warm breath was stronger than before. We were so close that I could see every single strand of his dark hair.

He moved in and by instinct, my eyelids floated downwards. His delicate lips came in touch with mine and I was enveloped in a whole new layer of warmth and feelings I'd never experience before. But just like the lake, the environment was so cold and yet I could feel the heat burning.

He moved gently and slowly. His hand entangled in my hair and my hand placed on the side of his face. Our bodies were close but not entwined and I knew there was no rush. Because there was no rush, it meant that this was real.

Carson slowly pulled back and let out a quiet breathy sigh. "Don't run away please."

I smiled. "Never again."

"But do keep smiling like that."

And for that particular reason, my lips stretched upwards even further. But also because a light wind of thoughts came flowing through me. Those thoughts were of the future, of my family and friends; my parents, aunts and uncles, my cousins, Carson, May, Jet, Sam, Suri and even Sandra. And I knew they were all going to be not in my future but my future. I cannot isolate myself to stress and study alone. Carson taught me that and I will remember it forever and continue to remind myself everyday.

a/n: BEOWKOSKDKSKJDJDD
I JUST FINISHED A BOOK AHHHHHHHHHHH
I FEEL SO ACCOMPLISHED AHHAHAH YAYYYYY

epilogue and bonus chapter nextttt

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