— renjun

I was on my phone, just scrolling down my favorite artist's page and got a notification that she uploaded a new art.

I checked it out and wowed.

It's a white bird, sitting on top of a gold cage with the door open.

"A free bird that has opinions."

I remembered what I told Jangmi.

My phone then vibrated and got another notification.

HJM :
Injuni~~~

I chuckled and opened pur message box.

— — —

HJM
Injuni~~~

HJM
I don't like this depression

Why? Tell me what's wrong

HJM
My mom scolded me again

HJM
For failing one of my subjects

Oh…

Lemme hunt her down >:(

HJM
haha, no need

HJM
I really need a new sketchbook, almost all of my sketchbooks are used

I still have that sketchbook that Nana bought

I'm keeping it forever

HJM
are the sketches really that nice?

Yes

It's meaningful too~

HJM
So my sketches aren't meaningful too?

Yes, yours are meaningful too darling

And your style and this person's style is very similar

Moving on, have you eaten?

HJM
.........

HJM
No

Why?

Didn't I tell you to eat properly?

HJM
I don't have the appetite to eat.

Please, JM

Just eat

You haven't been eating for days.

Whenever I ask you,  your answer is always no

When was the last time you said yes? Like 1 week ago?

HJM
I have been eating but not that much, whenever I try to eat

HJM
I just end up vomiting it

JM...

I swear, tell me who you are so I can take care of you

HJM
It's okay.. I'll be gone before the day you can even meet me

JM, please stop

I'm trying very hard to understand you too

HJM
Then don't try hard to understand me.. it's better if you don't understand me

HJM
That way you won't get worried anymore about me

JM

You're still my friend, I still care for you!

HJM
Then it's better if you stop

HJM is now offline

I sighed before jumping on my bed.

JM.. please, don't try to commit suicide.

— jangmi

I start crying as I threw my phone on my bed.

My eyes landed on the blade that's on my bedside table.

I locked the door, grabbing the blade and pushing it through my skin, letting the crimson red blood drip on my floor and clothes.

I cried harder, letting my tears mix up with the blood on the floor.

"I'm so sorry that I'm weak.."

ㅡ

I woke up on the floor.

The dry drips of blood and tears still there. I stand up, supporting my numb arm.

I grabbed wet wipes, wiping the blood and tears before grabbing my towel.

I entered the bathroom and start taking a bath.

I turned on the tap and winced in pain when the soap and water hit the cuts.

After taking a path, I wrapped it with some bandages before putting on my blazer and fixing my hair.

I then left the house, walking to school.

ㅡ

I take a deep breathe outside the door of my classroom.

I then opened the door and put on a fake smile as my 'friends' walked towards me.

"Jangmi~ I missed you." She said then I chuckled.

"We literally just saw each other yesterday." I said but she only pouted.

"Still~" She said as I went to my seat. I noticed Renjun start walking towards me.

"Hey, are you okay now after yesterday?" He asked then I nodded.

The girls then eyed the both of us before leaving us alone.

"I-I see.. call me if you need help and we can do project again later." He said then I nodded.

— renjun

I glance at Jangmi and she looks like she's in pain.

She's always holding her left arm.

You're really obvious for me, Han Jangmi.

Once Values Education started again, I sit beside her and smiled softly.

"Hey, you look weak today." I said, hiding the fact that I know.

"Huh? That's because I'm always weak." She said then I kept quiet.

I took paper from the teacher's table and sit in front of her, facing her way.

"Let's write down our feelings, shall we? That way, we can still get closer." I said then she nodded.

She grabbed the pen and start writing. I look around and saw Jaemin just looking around.

A girl then called him and he run to her. The two then left the classroom.

There's one thing I find weird..

That girl isn't his partner... or he doesn't even have a partner.

▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔
I'm sorry if this chapter is too much.

I just want to put my feelings in Jangmi cause I've also done it.. plenty of times already.

Just please understand, I try to understand what my characters are feeling and making you understand or relate to them.

Jangmi is suicidal, yes, I am too but please, don't ever kill or starve yourself.

I love you, ONECTs <33