[ Math is Hard ]
kazemaru: ninety-nine percent of people get this question wrong
park: what is it
kazemaru: if you have ten skittles what is your bra size
park: . . .
kazemaru: whats the answer.
park: . . . D
kazemaru: smart girl <3

[ Whats Wrong With Me ]
kazemaru: see you tomorrow
park: [leaves without saying anything]
fudou: [snorts]
kazemaru: . . . what am i doing wrong
fudou: sksksk---
kazemaru: am i ugly?
fudou: PPFFFT AHAHHAHAH BRO I CAN'T DO THIS
kazemaru: im trying my hardest and you're NOT EVEN BEHIND ME ON THIS
fudou: no no listen- do you think like-
kazemaru: no SHUT THE FUCK UP

[ The Good Husband ]
kazemaru: im home
park: YEOBO
kazemaru: !!! how is my beautiful wife !!!
park: WONDERFUL now that her husband is home !
kazemaru: oh god i lo-
park: do the dishes.
kazemaru: . . . yes ma'am

[ Handa is Actually Adorable ]
handa: yo, kazemaru
kazemaru: whats up [drinking water]
handa: do you think uh. . . you think park-chan would go out with me
kazemaru: [CHOKES. COUGHS. HACKS]
handa:
kazemaru: [wipes his mouth] you know what.
handa: what
kazemaru: NO. she wouldn't go out with you.
handa: alright thanks man, i'm gonna ask anyway

[ Hoot Hoot ]
fudou: okay so. . . someone in here, is possessed by an owl
kazemaru:
sakuma:
genda:
park: hoo
fudou: that's the thing, we don't know---
kazemaru:
sakuma:
genda:
fudou: oh SHIT

[ Landing in Japan ]
fudou: [walks down the aisle]
kim: AKIO
fudou: . . . what
kim: AKIO OVER HERE, I CAME TO PICK YOU UP
fudou: . . . hi kim
kim: did mio tell you I was gonna come for you?
fudou: . . . no kim
kim: okay come on kiddo, i'll give you a ride
fudou: thank you kim

[ Don't Tell Me What To Do ]
kazemaru: stop texting mio
fudou: stop talking to me

[ Park Mio, To My Office Please ]
kazemaru, on the pa: park mio, please come to the office. park mio.
park: YYAYAYAYAYAYAY
fudou: why are you so excited

/5 minutes later
park: [happily playing with the rollercoaster toy]
kazemaru: you are so cute, i want to watch you until i die

[ Never ]
park: I'd never hit a woman
fudou: really.
park: [kicks him in the throat] I'd hit a man though.

[ Feels Good ]
kazemaru: i need a week off from doing 'it'
park: um, okay. did something happen?
kazemaru: it always feels ridiculously good, sometimes i'm like 'yeah i can go on with my day' but other times it's 'i have to go to the hospital immediately'

[ Butter My Eggroll ]
park: i just want to date the type of guy that goes above and beyond
kazemaru: really, like how
park: the type of guy who drinks pepsi on a sunday. that's the type of stuff that really [spins] butters my eggroll

[ A Plan You Say ? ]
nosaka: I've a plan
park: yes, me too
nosaka: we must be thinking the same thing
park: absolutely
nosaka: what are your thoughts?
park: shut the hell up

[ Tao Too Strong ]
haizaki: IM GONNA KILL YOU
ichihoshi: lol
endou: STOP THIS SHIT RIGHT NOW
haizaki: NO
endou: TAO, GET HIM
tao: [chops haizaki in the neck]
haizaki: [immediately falls, unconsious]
endou: damn, you really got him

[ Double Yolks ]
kazemaru: [cracks an egg, there's double yolks] oh wow that's so cool ! hey google, what does it mean when you crack a double yolk?
google: searching for; what does it mean when you crack a double yolk. . . if you are superstitious, cracking a double yolk can mean that you or your female counterpart is going to be pregnant with twins
kazemaru: OH MY GOD, HEY GOOGLE, CALL MIO OH MY GOD

[ You Blew It ]
kazemaru: [don't let her know how awkward you are]
park: nice weather
kazemaru: thanks

[ She Finally Came Home ]
kazemaru, mopping the floor very defeated: neomuhae, neomuhae. im like tt. . . just like tt. . . tell me that you'll be my ba-
park: what in gods name are you doing?
kazemaru: [nearly screams. drops the mop] OH MY GOD
park: h-hey?
kazemaru: MY WIFE [sobs]

[ That's My Eomma ]
kirino: oh my god, kariya is so annoying
shindou: he's not that bad, maybe he's just misunderstood

kariya: i fell and hurt my knee, can i have another cookie
park: oh no you poor sweet thing, [gives him ten]
kariya: :3c
shindou: . . . YOU