[ notes/ i frequently send my friend these skits for fun, it's already been revealed im a crackhead so i'll post some here just for fun. let me know your favourites lmaooo ]
[ warning: a very large amount of cursing and idiot humor ]

[ Diamond Arm ]
endou: im gonna try turning my entire arm into a diamond
kazemaru: that's a stupid idea
endou: why don't you believe in me
kazemaru: it's not that i don't believe in you, it's that i believe in your opponent more
park: should i shoot yet???
kazemaru: go for it baby
park: [mira strikess endou in the face]
endou: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA [wipes his face] okay good shot let's go again

[ Dating Advice ]
park: come to me for all your dating needs
kazemaru: my girlfriend hates me
park: that is Your Personal Problem

[ What If ]
kazemaru: what if we accidentally kissed at teikoku gakuen
park:
kazemaru: like- hypothetically. would you be into it or??

[ Fudou ]
kazemaru: did you hang out with fudou yesterday?
park: I won't lie, I did
kazemaru: oh nice, fudou's cool
park: but you hate fudou
kazemaru: YEAH, NO SHIT. HONEY

[ Karaoke ]
fudou: I PUTT THAT BRICK IN YO FACE
sakuma: SAY WHAT
park: NOW WHAT'CHA GON DO WIT IT
fudou: NOW WHAT'CHA GON DO WIT IT
genda: [hits tambourine]

[ Date ]
park: so! what have you planned for our date today!
kazemaru: we're gonna make sandwiches, we're gonna have a picnic, we're gonna lie in the sun and watch the clouds, we're gonna make out a little, we're gonna get ice cream, we're gonna pick strawberries and peaches and apples
park: what was that fourth one-?
kazemaru: watch the clouds?
park: no after that
kazemaru: get ice cream?
park: . . . whatever

[ Amusement Park ]
hiroto, on the roller coaster: I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT GET ME OFF
park, in the teacups: I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT GET ME OFF
afurodi: is there nothing we all enjoy

[ The Nominees Are ]
natsumi: the nominees for 'greatest male actor' are. . .
kino: gouenji shuuya!
announcer: GOUENJI IS BACK. This time he's NOT losing. he's NOT getting played. and he's NOT taking any SHIT from anybody
gouenji: [puts on sunglasses]
announcer: because HE BROKE HIS LEG
gouenji: WAIT.

[ World Record ]
kazemaru: I keep a record of how many times I drop mio home and she runs back out the door for another hug
fudou: what's the record
kazemaru: five
fudou: god I hate both of you, I can't even joke

[ Room 202 ]
haizaki: [spends thirty minutes with akane]
akane: [says nothing]
nosaka: [enters after haizaki leaves]
akane: nosaka san <3
jin: . . . the amount of shit i see in this hospital

[ Clubroom ]
park: [standing outside the clubroom]
fudou: . . . yo what are you doing? aren't you going in?
park: um. . . kazemaru said i have to wait outside until he calls me in
fudou: for fucks sake, it's not his office [shoves the door open]
kazemaru: [currently taking off his uniform] i didn't think you were so impatient, park-chan <3
fudou: [deadpans]
kazemaru: oh it's just you.
fudou: WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN

[ Selfie ]
hayate: [sends selfie to jin]
jin: . . . dude
hayate: what
jin: your car is on fire
hayate: where?
jin: behind you
hayate: lmaoo
hayate: oh shit youre right

[ The Good Wife ]
kazemaru: my wife hates me
endou: dude that's the price you have to pay for having a wife who can cook
natsumi: . . . what did you just say
endou: i said i love my wife and kazemaru should perish
kazemaru: WOW THANKS BUDDY

[ Trust Fall ]
endou: okay guys we're gonna do the trust fall exercise. kirino, close your eyes and fall, kariya will catch you
kirino: he won't.
endou: kariya, promise you'll catch him
kariya: i promise
endou: okay, go
kirino: [closes his eyes and falls face first]
kariya: AHAHAH YOU FUCKIN IDIOT WHAT
kirino: [CRIES]
park: oh no come here baby

[ Drama ]
fudou: i hate drama
anna: you don't love me anymore?
nosaka: that's not what i said anna
fudou: [puts on sunglasses and grabs popcorn]
park: share share
fudou: bitch sit down, this shit's getting good