"You never planned to let me into the Royal Guard, did you?"

The question. The very question she had been dreading for years finally was dragged out of Papyrus, the answer clear as day. The front porch was shallow in air, as if she was being suffocated despite being outside. Undyne sucked in a breath between her sharpened teeth.

"It's not like that, Papyrus, I -"

Undyne found herself stuttering over the words, unable to express herself. It wasn't that that, it really wasn't. Papyrus was a nice guy, but he was too innocent and naive to be able to be in the Royal Guard. And, well...

It was obvious Papyrus didn't have that. Would he ever be able to look someone in their face and take the final shot? Would he ever be able to fight and realize not everyone could be spared?

"I - Undyne, please, just... don't lie," Papyrus said, folding his hands together around his scarf. "You know it had been my dream for years, and... I don't get... Why would you lie to me?"

"I didn't lie to you, Papyrus!" Undyne said, "If you ever did really change, I would have let you into the guard."

"Change?" Papyrus asked, "What about me did I have to change? Am I not strong enough? Then why would you have trained me for cooking instead of fighting!"

"It's not that either." Undyne avoided his gaze like the plague, unable to meet his eye sockets as her decisions bit her in the ass. "You are strong, heck, you're pretty tough for a monster. You're creative, and you know how to adapt to situations. That's good qualities to have for someone in the Royal Guard. But those qualities are useless if you don't apply them, Papyrus."

"Apply them?"

Finally did Undyne meet his gaze, barring her teeth as her demanding personality took hold. "Strength has no use if you don't apply it. Dude, I love you, but you're so nice that you can never be in the Royal Guard."

"Never?"

"Look, Papyrus, the Royal Guard isn't all gestures and grand things! We have to serve the monster population, and that means we have to be willing to throw everything aside and risk our lives for them at a whims notice. That means we can't go chitchat the enemy, or go making friends. You're too nice, and that can get you killed."

"So you never intended for me to ever join?" Papyrus asked, "Why didn't you just tell me?"

"Because -" Undyne gestured towards his face. "Look at you! You were so excited, it'd be like telling a kid that I just killed Santa. I couldn't do that to you, you're my friend! I wish I didn't have to lie to you, but I didn't want to disappoint you. We still spent time together, and you're still my friend. You're always going to be my friend."

Papyrus nodded, returning his usual large smile. "I figured that's why you did that, and you did have my best interests in mind. Please, don't drag me around anymore like that. Sans and I have been having trouble finding jobs, and I don't want to be led on for a potential opening that I'll never get."

"Oh, shit!" Undyne said, "I'm so sorry about that. I've probably been dragging you around the dirt with the job for good pay, wasn't I?"

"It's fine, you didn't know," Papyrus said, holding up his hands. "I know you sometimes jump into things without thinking, and the Great Papyrus always meets the challenges he faces! Nyeh heh!"

Seeing his reaction, Undyne let out a breath of relief. She really didn't want to start any yelling match with Papyrus, as sometimes her anger and brash personality did get the best of her. But Papyrus was too sweet for that. He always was. It was both a blessing and a curse, really. Undyne did want to help him, she really did, but giving him the job out if pity wouldn't help anyone. He wouldn't grow from it, and while it would give him money, he'd be risking his life for said money. Undyne couldn't do that to him, much less face Sans' wrath for throwing Papyrus into the middle of danger.

"How about this?" Undyne offered, "Since you and your Mom are going to be cooking, let's find a new hobby for just us, like how we used to cook, but something different. Heck, I can even help you find some jobs if you want."

"That sounds like a plan! Nyeh heh, our friendship is rekindled! Or simply discussed about, as we never lost our friendship."

"Heck yeah!" Undyne said, "Now that we got that out of the way, though, I have to ask -" She pointed towards the house. "How'd that happen?"

~~~~~~

"So, Alphys, what do you do?"

Sans hastily glanced towards his bedroom, feeling sick to his bones. It wouldn't be a long walk, he'd probably be able to escape shortly if he ran. But leave poor Alphys alone with his parents? Could he do that to her?

"O-oh, me?" Alphys twisted under the attention, nervously tapping her claws together. "I'm the Royal Scientist, um... yeah. I do s-science stuff."

Realizing how she sounded, Alphys curled her tail against her chest, no doubt swearing at herself for sounding so stupid.

"That's interesting," Gaster said, "I myself enjoy science, and I'm glad my old job was taken by a young capable woman like yourself."

"C-Capable?" Alphys blushed with the compliment.

"Of course, sweetie!" Jandle smiled at her. "You must have worked really hard to get the Royal Scientist position!"

Alphys continued to absorb the praise like a dry sponge, her low self esteem lapping up any traces of happiness it could grasp upon. Jandle and Gaster seemed more than happy to keep delivering, offering compliment after compliment to boost Alphys up. With their grace and eloquence with words, it worked. It was almost inspiring to watch his parents at work, their words twisted carefully like a spiders web.

Until it closed onto it's victim.

That's why Sans didn't believe anything they said. He didn't know why they were here, but he knew it wasn't good. They were a cult, through and through. They could want to hurt Papyrus for all Sans knew!

Sans didn't like his lack of knowledge. He didn't like the memories that cursed his mind, that shriveled up his childhood into nothing but a wilting flower. It made his chest hurt and his head spin, the small skeleton clutching at his plate to stabilize himself.

Maybe he should just leave to his room, tuck himself away under his covers, away from his parents and from the world. Alphys, who he had been worried about before, seemed to be doing fine. Sans had no idea what his parents were planning for her, it could have been nothing at all. Or it could be something terrible.

"And, um... well, S-Sans sometimes works as my assistant whenever I need him," Alphys said, "Since I'm f-funded by the King I can pay him a good a-amount."

Great. Now his parents knew how he was funded. Were they planning on ruining his job? Taking away his only decent source of income so he'd rot in the streets? He made it when he was a child with an infant to care for, he can make it again. Sans was confident in that, he knew how to take care of him and his bro.

Which was why he was bothered his parents weren't doing that. They weren't trying to take Sans' money or house, and they weren't trying to kill anyone. Sans had no idea what they were going to do and he absolutely despised it. They were acting normal to everyone else, which meant they might not even believe Sans if he ever did reveal the truth. Basically, he had no idea where they were going to take this, and he had no way to predict or stop them. The best he could do would be to keep himself distant from them to not fall into any traps. But that was hard, as all of his friends seemed to enjoy spilling every detail about Sans and his life.

There was no way to logically escape. He would never dare to leave without Papyrus, and no excuses could possibly be created. It was either the truth or stay in the bubble of confusion and anxiety, and the first wasn't even an option due to his care for his brothers mental health. It was as if Sans had dug a hole, and now, no matter how frantically he looked to escape, there were no feasible actions. He was stuck, trapped by his and his parents lies, victim to anything they would bring to the table.

"And you are Undyne's girlfriend, yes?" Gaster asked, "You two do look very adorable together."

"R-Really?" Alphys asked.

Sans was both relieved and worried about their glossing over of his work situation, biting into his last crepe with averted eye lights. He was glad they weren't trying to talk to him, but he was worried about Alphys. Were they trying to find another victim for their murderous cult?

"You and Undyne are like soulmates!" Jandle said, a happy squeal accompanying her words. "I can see the bond you two have."

"You both clearly care for one another," Gaster said, "And Undyne did seem to love cooking, why don't you ask her to cook for you? My wife does it, and she is fantastic."

"Aw, dear, thank you," Jandle hummed, resting a hand of hers on her husbands. "I do support that, though. I love cooking for Gaster."

"You guys are b-both so cute, I ship i-it!" Alphys said.

"Thank you," Jandle said, "We make sure to keep our romance alive. You should make sure to do the same with Undyne, you guys are adorable and you should be together!"

Alphys beamed under the support and advice. "I w-will!"

Sans, looking for an escape, pulled out his phone. He really didn't want them to be here, but there was no avoiding it. Everyone knew him and his bro had parents, and they probably were going to become a part of their life until they got whatever they wanted. Maybe if Sans found out, he could make them leave quicker.

There had to be a logical explanation to why they were here, right? Yet no matter how much he tried and tried, Sans couldn't sum up any inkling of knowledge as to their sudden presence. Maybe they were simply curious as to Sans and Papyrus, or maybe they were looking for new victims. Sans didn't know, and he wished they would just be gone. Why couldn't they just leave? They had no purpose to be here, they probably knew by now that Sans wouldn't snitch. So why...

"Oh, Sans, we brought something for you!"

They... brought something for him?

Sure enough, Jandle was fishing through her pocket, producing out a slick new phone that looked was more expensive than his current. Slim and light, she held it out to him, flashing the quality screen towards him.

"Uh..." Sans wasn't sure how to respond, staring at the phone dumbfoundedly. They bought that for him?

"So you and Papyrus can contact us more easily! We already added our numbers in," Jandle explained.

That alone had Sans hesitating, holding up his own phone. "No thanks, I kinda got one already. It works just fine."

Even under different circumstances, Sans wouldn't have taken the phone. While the newest model was fast and expensive, and just looking at it made Sans feel as if his wallet had nothing to compare to the phone, he didn't take things others bought for him. If he did, he'd owe them, be in their dept. It was always best to take smaller, less expensive things. Taking a phone, one that was probably tampered, if he might add, from his parents sounded like a terrible idea.

"It looks pretty old, though, and there's a crack on it," Gaster said, "And this would be more effective to communicate with us."

Sans almost wanted to grab the offered phone and throw it out the window, telling his parents he'd rather jump into the core rather than ever text or try to communicate with their cultist ideals. However, that caused Sans to pause, realizing that he didn't really have a choice. They only met their parents yesterday, and Papyrus already had been in a situation where they had secluded them. Even if Sans repulsed and feared his parents to the extent that he did, in the end, it didn't matter. Papyrus loved the idea of having parents, and would try to form bonds with them, dragging Sans kicking and screaming the whole way.

Because, in the end, Sans would do anything for Papyrus. Dealing with his cult parents, for Papyrus, he would do. Just to see his brother smile.

"Fine," Sans hissed between his teeth, pinching the thin phone between his fingers like it was poison.

This was his best option, really. He didn't want his friends to start pulling down the walls he built, to start questioning why Sans ran away. Sans couldn't tell, not now. Papyrus was happy, and he wanted to keep it that way. But there were a few perks of also getting the new phone. It would actually run better then his hunk of garbage, and if Papyrus ever went out on his own with his parents, Sans could at least message his parents in case his brother didn't pick up. Not that he'd ever want to message them, but if Papyrus went missing, his first response would be to see what his parents did to him.

Right when Sans had accepted the phone, Papyrus had returned with Undyne, the two looking pleasant with the outcome of their conversation. That was good, he was worried something had happened.

Frankly, it was a long time coming. Undyne had been leading Papyrus on a false promise for years, it was only a matter of time before it crumbled with time. Undyne had a habit of doing that. She wasn't very good at thinking things through when it didn't come to battles. Undyne was talented in many things, but her inability to see the long term really was what always threw her for a loop, it seemed. In battle, she was an opponent to be feared. In conversations, she wasn't very witty.

Sans was glad to see Papyrus' normal, chirpy smile back onto his face. Nothing big went down, whew. If Papyrus would cry, there was no doubt just seeing his brother in pain would send Sans into his own tears.

While Papyrus and Undyne settled back into their seats, Sans took the distraction to check his new phone, looking over each icon carefully. They all looked standard, really. Nothing new installed, as if they really did just buy the phone, and did nothing but add in their numbers.

Until Sans noticed the second news app. When he clicked on it, the app directed him back to the home screen. Bingo.

One of the old bosses he had for being a sentry was this snide, paranoid man who always assumed his employees were running off to waste his time. He had given them 'work' phones, but when Sans had snooped through the apps, looking for games, he discovered this exact same application on his new phone. A tracker, which could be downloaded onto multiple phones to look like normal apps, but would broadcast your location to a set phone. Sans managed to crack a deal to make sure he wasn't tracked, and he had learned how to disable it from the victims phone as a result.

Of course his parents would download a tracker, of course they would.

It was a pretty popular application, easily found online. Parents often snuck it onto their monster childs phone, so it was widely used. And as a result, easily disabled.

Sans made sure he disabled it, leaning against his hand with a sigh. If they had one on his phone, they probably had it on Papyrus' as well. He'd have to turn that one off later. Sure, Sans cared about his bro, but he wouldn't go to the extent of tracking him.

At least this proved that their parents did have a different motive, rather than simply 'reappearing within their lives and bonding'. They downloaded a tracking app onto their children's phones, which meant Sans was right. Just... what was their different motive?

"I'm sorry, but... shoot, we have work soon," Jandle sighed, looking at her own phone. "I wish we could have stayed longer."

"At least we managed to make a visit," Gaster said, "And sorry we didn't get much time to spend with you, Starlight."

Sans instead found himself glad that the two barely spent alone time with him, sighing with relief. That was good.

"That is sad that you guys have to go!" Papyrus said, "We can meet later today, or tomorrow, if you'd like!"

"Yes, that sounds terrific," Gaster said, standing up as his wife collected her purse. "We can even pursue some of those ideas you wrote down, and spend some quality time with our boys. Of course, as long as Undyne and Alphys are okay -"

"We're totally okay with it!" Alphys suddenly yelped, grabbing ahold of Undyne's arm.

Everyone silently stared at the usually quiet lizard, finding her sudden outburst to be a shock.

"U-Um, I... uh, I mean... Undyne and I-I can... bond tonight... and I-I'm sure Toriel and Frisk would l-like to... catch up," Alphys said, "So you guys can go a-and... do your t-thing..."

"That sounds like a deal!" Jandle said, "I can't wait! It's going to be fantastic!"

"How about the Museum idea? We could possibly go out for food afterwards, and I know they have a fantastic star exhibit," Gaster offered.

Sans wanted to melt into his seat and never be seen again.

"That sounds fantastic!" Papyrus said, hugging their parents closely. "Great idea, Dad!"

"Of course, Sundrop." Gaster hugged the back of his skull. "Of course."

~~~~~~

Jandle hummed along to the music of the car as they drifted down the road, a pleasant feeling having taken control of her soul. Gaster was the same, the usually quiet man humming along with his wife to the song neither of them liked.

It worked, after all.

Gaster looked down at his phone, watching Sans set up his brothers number onto his newly acquired phone. Naturally there was a decoy tracker, as if Gaster would use something as a flimsy child tracker that could be found so easily in one search online.

Sans was paranoid, and that was to be expected. His parents did give him quite a scare. The boy would have driven himself nuts combing through the settings, trying to find the tracker Gaster had implemented. By placing such a silly decoy out in the open, one that Gaster knew Sans would notice, his son would be at ease, feeling as if he had caught Gaster's plan. Far from it, really. Gaster had no intentions of using some ignorant model from the internet, in fact, he never even bothered to activate it on his phone.

No, the application he used was made from his own code. Gaster would never use some rubbish code, not on his son, no. His code he had designed was so perfectly tucked away that Sans and Papyrus would never find it, and it far excelled past what the decoy app used. Not only would it track his two precious gems, but it could also display their screens as they used it, display their history of apps, display their messages, and Gaster could even send messages to other people disguised as them, or send messages to them disguised as people from their messages. Additionally, he could stream the cameras and audio straight to his own device.

They just got their precious boys back. And they weren't going to let them go this time.