Alex

Today I had a test in my math class and had studied with Harry all week, feeling a bit overwhelmed at all of my homework. I couldn't miss a day of school because I knew that if I skipped, it would be worse than anything.

I was nineteen weeks today and it was beginning to show. It was every morning that I would wake up and feel bigger. Harry's hoodies weren't doing me any justice and I've gone to bigger purses and shirts with ruffles in the front.

I took my test and after the day was over I sat in my desk in my last class and waited for everyone to leave. My teacher was named Mrs. G. Her name was a bit hard to pronounce so she had us call her that. She didn't really interact with any of the students unless they were trouble. Unlike my English teacher, she knew my name.

I sat there getting my things ready to leave but felt a pain in my back. The doctor said it was normal as long as it wasn't too bad. I sat there taking deep breaths and tried to get my stuff into my bag. I was about to walk out when my bag snapped and let all of my stuff fall onto the ground. I rolled my eyes and slowly bent down trying to pick them up. "Oh boy are you alright?"

"Yeah, just- my bag ripped." she helped me get some papers and stacked them on a nearby desk.

"Alexandria right, you got the highest grade on the last test." I smiled. "You're very smart, have you looked at any colleges." I felt like I've had this similar conversation with all of my teachers. I was a smart kid, not the smartest because that was Paula Hernandez who would be our valedictorian for sure.

"I have a lot on my plate right now," I confessed.

"Is money tight, I know of a few scholarship opportunities. I have the print out sheets of the websites." I agreed to wait until she printed them out and stood by her desk.  Again there was a pain in my back, which then made the baby kick. It was the strongest kick I had ever felt and I gasped. She looked up at me and gave me a weird stare. "You alright there?"

"Uh- I'm fine." she looked down at my stomach where my hand quickly moved away.

She was silent for a long time before I heard her printer begin printing the pages. She stapled the pages and handed them to me. "I just hate to see smart kids like you not be able to go to a good college compared to rich kids who go party for four years." I smiled.

"I really want to go to college, being around my job has made me think about a business degree." she smiled.

"Oh, you work?" I nodded.

"Yeah, I'm an assistant for a branch executive for some lady product- it's really complicated but I work with her on the weekends. Need to save up for stuff." she sighed looking down again.

"Um, Alex-" she walked over to the door and closed it slightly. "-feel free to call me crazy but are you...is something going on?" I gulped looking down. "I'm also a step in guidance counselor for Mrs. Evans in the office, you can always talk to me about anything and it would stay between us." she sounded helpful but I knew that she knew.

"You know that I'm pregnant Mrs. G." she took a deep breath and nodded.

"I had a feeling, you've looked different and well you are beginning to show." I nodded looking down. "Is the father aware-"

"He has you in your third period, Harry." her eyes widened. "I'm living with him." she pointed to a chair and took a seat, talking to her about everything. She listened carefully, letting me get all my worries and frustration out at once.

"Well it will become obvious in a few weeks, you come to me if anyone gives you trouble and please-" she reached into her desk and began pulling out some papers. "-take these for more information on everything pregnancy." I thanked her and grabbed my stuff, walking out.

I met Harry at the end of the hallway and he stood there a bit annoyed until he saw my face. "What's wrong?" I sniffled and looked around.

"People are gonna find out soon, I just know it." I hugged him and felt him hold me tightly.

Get ready for the stares.

Two weeks, it took two weeks for people to begin talking. According to Mary, Mrs. G. spoke to another counselor about there being a pregnant teen on campus. The office aid told a few people, and word got around.

Who had a serious boyfriend?

A lot of girls.

Who looked 'bigger'?

Besides Leslie brown, me.

It was a warm day and I decided to take my jacket off, one person saw my belly, and the next day everyone's eyes were on me.

I sat at my lunch table waiting for Harry and could feel people turning to look at me. Harry came with an extra slice of pizza and a smile, sitting down beside me. "For you my love." I smiled gently leaning in to kiss him. We pulled apart and Mary and her friends awed as they came over to sit with us.

"Oh my god, congratulations."

"You guys are so cute."

"Are you having a boy or a girl?"

I was a bit overwhelmed and noticed that there were only four girls with her. The other girls sat at another table glaring at me. I knew what they thought of me, their parents being religious wanted me away from their 'pure daughters' as if teen pregnancy was an airborne disease.

"I don't know yet, I guess we find out in a few weeks at our next appointment," I responded.

One of the girls, Ashley, smiled. "Well, we definitely want to throw you a baby shower. I mean unless you're putting it up for adoption?" she said awkwardly.

Mary smacked her arm, but I quickly shook my head telling her we were keeping our baby.

Lunch ended and I quickly threw my stuff away, the cafeteria emptying. I held hands with Harry as we walked to our next class together. David and his friends walked by, shoving past Harry. "Watch it," he warned them.

David turned and looked me up and down. "Look it's the school slut." They all laughed and walked away. I suddenly had no desire to be here anymore. I had let him get to me once again.

"That's terrible, you should report them to the school. The nerve of those children!" Anne said frustrated as Harry told her what happened.

"It's fine Anne, their words can't hurt me." I lied, the whispers at school didn't stop all day and eventually when the bell rang and I was able to go home, I cried all the way here. "Besides things will calm down eventually. I'm going to work on some scholarship essays for college."

"That's good to hear sweetheart, Harry pass the peas." Harry seemed distracted, staring out the window. He had the day off and told me he wanted to finish his homework and go to bed. He apologized, handing his mom the food.

Dinner ended and he told me he wanted to focus and be alone for a while. I decided to take a shower and watch a film in the living room. It was hard to get comfortable with a belly, but I managed.

I dozed off, waking a few hours later with the craving for some ice cream. I served myself some in a cup and got Harry a scoop as well, making my way to his room. I knocked gently and heard him sigh. "Why are you knocking?" I opened the door and came inside.

"Well you were busy and I didn't want to-"

"You don't need to knock Alex!" he said louder than usual. I stared at him, setting down the ice cream.

"Okay grumpy, I won't." he was sitting at his desk doing homework while I took a seat on the bed eating my ice cream. I put my hand on my belly and felt a small thump against my hand. I gasped standing and walking over to him. "The baby's kicking, feel it."

"I can't feel it, just let me do my homework I'm tired and want to finish up so I can sleep." His tone sounded so different and it honestly hurt my feelings that he didn't want to feel the baby. I walked back to my stuff and got ready for bed. It was already ten and I decided to just sleep before the craziness of tomorrow made me regret not sleeping earlier.

I turned down the bed, the sheets smelling crisp and clean. I looked over at Harry and quietly asked him if he was almost done. "How many questions do you have?" No answer. "Do you need help?"

His hand came down onto the desk and he turned to me. "Alex just leave me alone right now alright! Stop fucking bothering me!" I stared at him for a second before he turned in his seat and began working on whatever was stressing him enough to yell at me like that.

I grabbed my pillow and my blanket, walking out of the room and back towards the living room. Tears began falling almost immediately, a quiet sob escaping from my throat as I snuggled by myself.

He didn't come to get me the whole night.

Thank you for reading. Xx

-k