Third person pov

Okay. This is just getting gross and redundant at this point.

"Man. This is so gross." Naruto stared down distastefully at the orange creeping towards him, backing through the dirty water to put some space between him and it. Red eyes watched him irritably from behind thick metal bars. Naruto was pretty sure he was being judged which was like, so turned around. It's not like he was the one spontaneously pissing himself. "I don't think pee is supposed to be that color."

"You're here again." The giant dog grumbled. He seemed less like he was going to insult Naruto today which was kind of nice. Naruto still wasn't going anywhere near that cage. The pee was probably more concentrated over there, and the dog kept trying to hit him when he got close. It was already bad enough that he had to stand in the water at all. "Why are you here again?"

"Why would I know the answer to that question? I'm six." Naruto raised an eyebrow. The dog looked like he was going to argue for a moment before he just sighed, sending a blast of hot breath strong enough to nearly knock Naruto backwards. The water rippled, the pee getting closer as a result. Naruto backpedaled immediately and tried not to scrunch his nose up too much. This guy needed to brush his teeth too. "Seriously man, I don't think that's healthy. Why do you pee that much? What are you even drinking in here? Wait, don't answer that." 

"It's not pee. I told you that already, you little rat." Oh, so there were going to be insults. That was rude. Also, he'd never specifically said it wasn't pee that Naruto could remember. He's not going to tell the dog that though. He has a sneaking suspicion it would just make him ten times angrier. "Get out of here. I'll kill you."

Naruto wanted to point out that he'd probably sooner die from the many health code violations in this place but decided it wasn't a great idea. He looked around, taking in the vast blackness that seemed to go on forever and ever. The water looked dirty for as far as the eye could see, implying this dog had been stuck here for a long time. Context clues, people, context clues. Was it because he was a douchebag? Mean people went to jail. Naruto just wasn't sure why said jail was in his dream, that's all. 

The dog observed him in a manner that somehow managed to convey exactly how annoyed he was. It actually had slits for pupils which Naruto doesn't remember dogs having, but its ears are too long for it to be a cat. Maybe when it got big its pupils stretched out? That makes sense. Like how babies start out pudgy but their limbs get skinnier as they get longer, and the same with their faces. Naruto knows his face is round now, but when he grows up like his dad it'll get more square.

That means this guy is like, old-old. There's no way he'd be this stretched out otherwise. Does the cage grow with him? Or was it always that big and he just grew into it? He's really, really massive. Naruto really wants to go touch his nose, but he'd probably get eaten if he tried.  

"...So uh, what now?" Naruto asked. The dog scoffed at him. "Hey! Don't be mean. Today's been a wild day, you know. Someone attacked the Uchiha's old compound-- can you believe it? They like, blew houses up and everything! Now my dad's upset and the police force can't move back into the center of the village. We're going to go look at it tomorrow when the sun is up and the ANBU are all done searching the place."

The dog scoffed again, louder this time. Not helpful in any way, shape, or form. Naruto sighed, wishing he could sit down. If only he knew that cool ninja power that let you stand on water. He'd seen Kashi use it before to step on the bathtub water. It was a cool trick, and Naruto had applauded him greatly for it. Positive affirmation to remind him that he's cool and doing a great job, obviously. Naruto wishes to follow in his footsteps. 

"Good. They deserve it." The dog said, lips curling back to reveal some very sharp teeth. Naruto made a considering face, planting his hands on his hips and nodding observationally. Very impressive canines he has, very sharp. They're surprisingly white for someone who's been in there that long. Does he have a giant toothbrush somewhere? 

"I don't think anyone deserves to have their houses blown up, even if they're not really living in them yet." Naruto admitted, but everyone's entitled to their own opinions. Big dogs included. "Do you not like the Uchiha or something? I mean, I guess I get it if that is the case, but that's pretty judgmental coming from a giant dog that pees himself. And who's in jail. Unless you're the victim of an unjust system-- my dad was telling me all about the wrongly imprisoned just yesterday, and then I read more about it in a book."

More orange began to leak out, and Naruto eyed it dubiously. He should seriously get that checked out. 

"It. Is. Not. PEE!" The dog howled at him, paws slamming down as he seemed to read Naruto's thoughts right off his face. An extreme reaction that confirmed that it was, in fact, urine. The movement caused another wave in the water, the pee pushing closer. Naruto took some very pointed steps back, looking at the orange before he looked at the dog again and raised a brow. He got an enraged growl for his troubles, the dog swiping through the bars at him. "The Uchiha are the scum of the Earth, you brat! Who do you think put me here?! They're vile! Controlling, manipulative vermin who lust for nothing but power all to themselves!" 

"And you blame them for sticking you in there? You're trying to kill me, and I'm like, a child." Naruto pointed out, making note to ask Kashi was controlling and manipulative vermin did later. The dog stopped for a moment to stare at him. He seemed rather incredulous, as though Naruto's logic didn't track. Not true, by the way. This is the most sense he's ever made in his entire life. "I mean, you keep calling me names and everything, and you just admitted to supporting terrorism. If there was a giant dog running around attacking kids and calling them names, I'd put them in a box too. Well-- I'd give them a toilet, though. The fact that you don't have one is super wrong."

The dog looked dumbfounded, gazing at him like he was a total idiot. Naruto huffed a little, crossing his arms over his chest defensively. He'll die on this hill. If someone is a bad guy you lock them up, oversized dogs not excluded. Naruto is sure this guy's been through a lot in life. Crime, abuse, loneliness, acute bladder dysfunction. 

It sounds like a hard way to live, but Naruto gets it. Really, he does. He's spent his entire life hated and neglected up until very recently. Now he's having weird dreams about really mean Clifford descendants that verbally beat him down and call him names. Maybe Pakkun is right and he does need therapy. A bridge to be crossed when they come to it. None of it's an excuse to be a dick. 

Naruto looks down at his feet, irritable. Does he have any cuts? Because broken skin is a death sentence in water like this. He can practically smell the infection. How does Kashi do that water thing? He's going to have to ask if he's going to keep showing up here. This is all fake, sure, but he doesn't want dream-him to be in pain either. That would be the lamest thing to ever be lame, in Naruto's expert opinion. At least the dog is looking less mad now.

"...You're an odd little rodent." The dog says, and then it clicks. Naruto's jaw drops.

The weird paws, the narrow snout, the oddly shaped limbs. The guy is totally right when he says he isn't a dog. This makes so much more sense. The ears, maybe not, but if the pupils and limbs are stretched out then why couldn't the ears be too? Constantly calling Naruto a rat and vermin-- he was projecting his own insecurity! Holy crap, Naruto is such a horrible person! How did he not see this sooner?

"Oh my god." Naruto breathed out softly, clasping his hands together in front of his chest meaningfully. "I'm so sorry. You should've told me you were a rat from the beginning. There's no shame in it, honest! I actually really like rats. They're kind of cool. No wonder you were so upset about me calling you a dog!"

Them being in what is definitely the equivalent to a sewer slides way better now. Naruto watches the large rat slowly pick itself up, eyes narrowing, body seeming to teem with energy. Naruto eyed its weird fingers. He was definitely right. Those were so not paws. They were really big rat hands. How had he not seen it sooner? This was just a rodent that was malnourished, and that's why he looked all skinny and weird. Naruto's been so insensitive, misidentifying his species all this time. 

"You..." The rat grit out, the rumble of his voice rattling the bars of his cage precariously and causing Naruto to wince. Can dogs be related to rodents? Or is there a big red rat somewhere that also has his own book? Or maybe the person who wrote that book mistook their rat as a dog as well, so it's actually been wrong the whole time. "You little NUISANCE!" 

The rat began to pee rapidly. Naruto took a few more solemn steps back and sighed as the screaming began.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The scene was truly something else. There didn't seem to be a pattern in which the homes had been blown up as far as Minato could tell. They appeared chosen at random, a crater here, a crater there, speckled throughout the entire compound. It was a miracle the attacks had happened at night after the construction crews had already gone home for the evening. It was a small mercy in a shitstorm of a situation. Minato still couldn't help but grimace.

"What are we to do? They left no evidence." Fugaku frowned heavily, peering down at the place the home once stood. Yeah, no evidence was the understatement of the year. There was no sign there'd ever been a structure here to begin with, aside from the massive indent in the ground where it once stood. It's like someone had shoveled it out with an ice cream scoop and carried it off.

Most of the houses were still up. There were just some that... weren't. Minato would be almost impressed if he weren't so tired. He wants to go home and spend time with his kid. Color. Maybe fingerprint, if they're feeling messy. 

"Well, I'm fairy certain we all know who committed this particular hate crime." Minato sniffed. Him and just about everyone else on the council did-- in fact-- know exactly who was behind this, but it's not like they could really say anything about it. "I'm not sure how to go after him without proof. Baseless accusations are just going to put an even bigger dent in our plans. I think our best bet is to station men, Police Force and ANBU, to watch over the site when it's not occupied. That'll at least ward anyone off from trying anything so direct again."

Fugaku made a noncommittal grunting noise that showed he agreed but wasn't particularly happy with it. Minato wasn't either, but he'd already had his sanctioned mental breakdown. At least that meant he was taking it a lot better than he normally would've. Besides, Naruto seemed to be having a great time in the craters. Him and Fugaku's youngest-- Sasuke-- had slid down into one and were playing in the wet clay-like dirt that had been unearthed together. 

Naruto appeared to be making what looked like a rat with really long ears if Minato was being honest with himself. Probably this new imaginary friend he'd had another dream about. Apparently Naruto had been under the impression that he was a dog, but then concluded that he was actually a rodent of some kind but was too embarrassed to admit it out loud. Naruto had proudly proclaimed that he wasn't supposed to speculate about his new friend's species anymore and was to refer to him only as 'Kurama'. Such a cute and creative name. Minato's so proud.

"Wait, so you know who did it? Why don't you go beat him up then?" Naruto asked from where he sat next to Sasuke, who was making some sort of house for the clay rat. Their teamwork was truly inspiring. "I mean, I'd totally throw him in jail if I were you. Blowing houses up seems kind of dangerous."

"Yeah. What if someone was in the house? I doubt they checked. They probably just got lucky." Sasuke inquired. Wait, that wasn't a house he was making. Was it a cage? Naruto had mentioned his imaginary friend being in a really big kennel before. Minato wondered if there was any traumatic symbolism in that. He should really take Naruto to talk to someone. Kid's been through a lot.

"He's an important and powerful man. We'd need proof if we wanted to condemn him." Fugaku grunted in response, the frown deepening the lines of his face. Sometimes it was easy to forget that they'd aged whilst Minato was in his weird stasis. A lot had changed during the blonde Kage's absence, and all his previous friends had grown wary and tired in the face of Konoha's instability.

Naruto and Sasuke shared a look that clearly conveyed that they thought the whole thing was stupid. Minato's in the same boat with then on that one. He knows Danzo ordered this. It makes him angry, his simmering irritation ramping up. He's been on edge ever since his talk with Jiraiya and this whole thing is doing nothing to help his stress levels. Why can't everyone just sit down and chill out? The last thing Konoha needs is a civil war on its hands. If they show themselves to be any weaker, the other hidden villages will be on them like they're hot.

"Wait, if you know who did it then why don't you just frame him? It's not wrong if he's guilty." Naruto piped up. Minato opened his mouth to say something but then paused, staring down at his son. He was giving the rat legs now. "Just make some fake proof and say you found it during your investigation. How's he going to know? If he says it's fake then he's just admitting that he knows it's fake, which means he knows something he didn't tell you, which is breaking the law. And even if he does find out it's fake, it'll look super suspicious that he ever pointed it out to begin with. Everyone will know he's hiding something."

Minato stared some more. Fugaku did too, watching Naruto carefully place his rat into the cage Sasuke had made. Sasuke nodded in approval-- to the action or to Naruto's words, there's no telling-- before he got another handful of mud and began to pat it so they could make the top. Naruto began to do the same, his shorts and the bottom half of his shirt dirty and damp from the mud. It was smeared all over his arms, legs, and face as well. It was adorable.

"That..." Fugaku trailed off, brow furrowing. Minato felt his pride swell up like a balloon in his chest. Wow. Yeah, that was... something else. And a really good idea if he was being honest. If Danzo wanted to come blow up private property then they could totally blow up his reputation. This would scare him, maybe even enough that he backed off entirely. 

"That's a great idea." Minato said, voice a little distant. Why does Naruto know this stuff? He doesn't remember knowing this stuff at six. "You're really smart." 

"Thank you." Naruto puffed up happily, looking pleased. "I was forced to mature very fast. Kurama said so when I asked him if he was also hated by his entire village. Turns out he was. I think we're sort of friends now, even though he still wants to kill me. At least he finally told me his name. That's like, the first step to recovery, probably."

Minato made a face as Sasuke nodded along, seeming interested. Yeah, therapy was definitely in order with that one.