Happy Easter to all those who celebrate it! And to those who don't, I hope you have an awesome day. 

Third person pov

"Perfectly fine" was a vast overstatement of how things were going, if you were wondering. 

At first everything seemed fine. Considering they were all sort of expecting a literal bomb to drop from the sky and kill them all the moment Naruto stepped a single foot past the village gates, it was actually a bit of a surprise that it took so long for shit to go sideways. Things were going good! Great, even!  

Did they stay good and great? Obviously not, because why in the world would they do that? Silly of them to want that. Hopes and dreams are a joke in this society. Naruto knows better than to set his expectations so high! It always make the crashing and burning much, much harder.

"What's wrong with you now, Naruto?" Sakura sighs, stopping in her tracks to turn and give him a flat look. He and Kakashi-sensei had been on edge from the moment they hit the road and it was driving her nuts. "What, is there a pebble in your sandal or something? You need to pee? We're on a schedule, you know!"

Sasuke grunted in agreement, and Tazuna slurred something that was probably derogatory enough that it shouldn't be repeated. Naruto hummed absentmindedly, not looking at any of them.  

He was too busy staring at the very large, very obvious puddle sitting in the middle of the road some ten feet or so ahead of them. Super distinct, super uncannily round. Super not supposed to be there.

Kakashi came up to a stop next to him, also staring at it. He looked beyond defeated, his shoulders slouched as he took it in. Already, exhaustion was lining his face-- which was saying something considering he had only one eye exposed. Naruto reached out to pat him on the back, grimacing.

"The beginning of the end. It's all downhill from here." Kurama mused, though he sounded tired too. "There's absolutely something inside that thing. I hope you know that. I'd say two lifeforms, though notably pathetic in chakra capacity."

Naruto does know that. He can literally smell it. When did his nose get so sensitive? Is this a part of his seal being gone? Take him back to his days of ignorance and naivety. Life was much less disappointing back then, believe it.

"No. I'm great. Everything is great. Believe it." Naruto answered belatedly. He looked at the cloudless sky. Then at the dry road. Then at the sky again just to make sure, hoping against hope Kurama and his nose were both wrong. No dice. "...Man. Should we do something about that?"

Kakashi doesn't even get a chance to respond before a chain is exploding out of the fake puddle, two figures darting out right after. Sakura's scream is shrill enough to shatter eardrums.

~~~~~~ 

It's been three hours, thirty-seven minutes and exactly fourteen seconds since Naruto left on his mission. Minato feels nothing anymore. He is numb. His heart and soul have left him. They're now fluttering int he wind, and he fears they will never return. There is no point in living anymore-- in functioning.

Why be Hokage when he just wallow instead? His son is out there somewhere, braving the wild world all by himself... with his teammates, but that doesn't really count, does it? Right. Absolutely.

Naruto could get hurt, or die, or get hungry, or get lonely. Literally any number of things could happen to him out there. Minato will be there to prevent none of them, either! Or take any photos of his successes! He's probably hit so many milestones by now, and he bets Kakashi hasn't documented a single one. 

"...Lord Namikaze?" Shikaku Nara's voice was hesitant. Minato grunted a bit but didn't otherwise respond. "Are you listening?"

Minato shouldn't even be here. Shouldn't even be in these stupid meetings that he finally couldn't put off any longer. Apparently Naruto going on his first mission didn't qualify as a "family emergency". Can you believe it? If this isn't an emergency, what is?

"He's not paying attention." One of the elders snapped out. Minato doesn't know or care which one. "He's too caught up in his childish dramatics to give this village the time it deserves! First he lets his sorry excuse for a legacy put everyone at risk with that monster, now this! He's not fit to lead! We all know it!" 

Shikaku made an alarmed noise in the back of his throat. Everyone in the room seemed to freeze at the elder's-- Homura's-- exclamation. Minato blinked down at the grain of the table, processing the words that had just been spoken at a snail's pace simply due to the fact that they were just that unbelievable.  

Had he... really just said that in Minato's presence? Was he serious? Sorry excuse for a legacy-- he'd definitely said that! In front of Minato!

The tension immediately skyrocketed, the temperature dropping in contrast. Minato could hear the way everyone seemed to hold their breath as he slowly raised his head, eyes narrowed. He rolled the words around in his head a few more times and came to the executive decision that he was super pissed about it, eyes narrowing more.

And look. Look, Minato gets it. Really, he does! He's more dedicated than most fathers. He worries about Naruto to a degree that, according to Ayumu, is 'definitely not healthy, no, really, I'm a professional and I'm telling you that it's not'. 

Minato's annoying. He's dramatic! He is so overwhelmingly dramatic, in fact, that it's probably beyond irritating to everyone surrounding him, his wife included! His entire personality has been built around loving his son and being there for him, and you know what? Minato is fine with that, and he doesn't really give a shit if no one else is. 

Realistically, he knows that Naruto will probably be okay, awful track record of luck aside. He has Kakashi with him and he has Kurama too, and he's resilient. He's not just going to roll over and take whatever hand fate decides to deal him. And that's great. That's dandy.

Minato still going to worry. He's still going to flop over and lament over the fact that he didn't get to go along. He's still going to bite his nails and anxiously await an update from Kakashi, because Naruto has gone missing, almost lost limbs, been poisoned, been taken, been tortured, even once been killed when stepping out of the village. And you know what? Minato is justified in worrying it may happen again, this time without him there to help!

The elders can be annoyed with that. With Minato-- they can disrespect him and call him names all they want if it makes them feel better. But there's a line drawn in the sand that Minato knows everyone can see, and never should it be crossed.

"I understand that you're worried about the allocation of the budgeting for the expansion of our police force in preparation for the upcoming chunin exams, which are crucial to our relations with other villages. I understand that you're stressed about the state of our surveillance and security seals and wish for me to stop my 'childish dramatics' so that I might update them!" Minato pressed his hands together happily, tone deceptively light. Because really, do they think he can't sadly cry and listen at the same time?

"Lord Fourth, wh-what we meant--" Koharu started to say. Minato held up a hand to silence her. Next to her, Homura gulped, looking vaguely terrified. 

Everyone was averting their gazes. The clan heads looked alarmed, probably because Minato was staring wide-eyed, smiling unblinkingly at the soon to be ex-council member in their presence. Not a good look for him, but calling someone's son a sorry excuse for a legacy wasn't a good look either!

"I also understand that you just referred to my one and only child, my pride and joy, my spot of light in this dark and awful world as a sorry excuse for a legacy. And Kurama! You called Kurama-- what was that again? A monster, you said?" Minato drummed his fingers on the table. "Or did I misunderstand that?"

There was silence. Minato waited patiently, propping his elbow on the tabletop and his chin on hand, watching idly. Homura seemed to realize he needed to verbally respond after a few beats of nobody saying anything, his already pale face growing even whiter.

"I-It was a slip of the tongue, Lord Fourth." Homura offered. "I-In my older age I find myself more... quickly overcome with emotion. Please, forgive my blunder."

...Yeah. Whatever. God, Minato hates it here. He'd much rather wonder what Naruto is doing right now. Being happy, healthy and safe, Minato hopes. 

Kakashi better have a bare minimum of a hundred and fifty photos by the time they get back here, or else. God, he's going to need so many new scrapbooks. One for Naruto's first mission where the best photos will go, and then a few more for the ones that don't fit.

Maybe Naruto would help him decorate the cover. Oh, they could go to the craft store together! That would be fun. They could make it a whole day. Kushina would love it too-- she was just as artistic as Naruto was, and in all the best ways. 

"And the fox! Surely you can't expect us to accept it so soon, Lord Namikaze." Koharu forced a weak smile, though her voice was shaky. "It has only been just over a decade that it destroyed the entire village! Surely you understand how concerning it is to hear the seal is now gone!" 

There's some mutters of agreement. Minato wonders if he should get an orange scrapbook or go for a nice shade of blue to represent the Wave. They ready have six orange ones. It might be good to mix it up a little. 

"Your comment about Lord Namikaze's son was still out of line." Fugaku Uchiha butt in. "Is your loyalty so weak that you can't trust in your Kage? When has Lord Fourth ever done anything of detriment for the village? So far, all he's done is improve it since his return. The fox has harmed no one, and if Lord Fourth says it won't, I choose to believe him. He has never been wrong before."

A burnt orange could work, though. They don't have a burnt orange scrapbook yet. It would create a nice ombre of oranges if they could find the right shade.

"You're biased." Homura snapped out. "Of course you defend his actions. He gave you your land back!" 

 The blue would have greater contrast on the shelf amongst all the fiery hues, though. They have lots of yellows, oranges, reds. Blue could be just what they need to spice things up.

"Why do you offer that as an accusation? That is their ancestral land. It's only right it be returned to them." Inoichi cut in, tone sharp. "This has nothing to do with what Lord Fourth has and hasn't done. Regardless of Lord Namikaze's status as Kage, the point stands that you disrespected his only heir! As a member of Konoha's esteemed council, you should have more decorum! And stating he should be replaced-- that is direct insubordination to a man you've sworn to serve!"

Wait. What if they did a rainbow of scrapbooks. What would come before yellow? Maybe a lime green?

"I agree. Letting your emotions take such hold of you is dishonorable, Homura." The lack of honorific made the man gasp, but Shikaku didn't budge. "We've all been discussing it for a while now, but I think it's finally time. The council... it needs to be replaced. We're entering a new era. Your old ideals won't fit the Konoha we're trying to build. We're not at war anymore! Your acts are all out of self interest, wanting to shape this village for the worse just to stay satisficed and comfortable. We all see it." 

There are several gasps of scandal. Minato thinks that lime green may actually, genuinely be the way. They could work their way up to blue much smoother if they went with that.

"You have no right--" Koharu started to choke out, tone shaky.

Yeah... yeah, and then they can do a flora theme. They do have a lot of nature related scrapbooking stuff they haven't ever gotten to use just laying around. Minato wonders if they have any wave-country specific plants, just to give it a little more flare.

"They have every right." Lord Third insisted. Koharu gaped at him. "And I agree with them. For too long, we were too blind to Danzo's machinations behind the scenes. We were too complacent, too willing to go along with plans under the excuse of it being 'better' for the village. Do we truly know what's best for Konoha? Did we ever? It's up to the younger generations to decide. This is their home, the one they're raising their children in."

If they don't have lime green, they could also go the other way. Pink off red, then purple after that, then blue. Minato almost likes that a little better, actually. Pink is a very first mission color, isn't it? It seems like it is.

"So we're truly doing this? Just like that, a vote to replace the council?" Hiashi Hyuga drawled out. He raised a hand. "Personally, I am all in favor. Your isolation of our greater clans, your efforts to separate us, have been long evident."

It'd be really pretty. Minato knows they sell them, too. There are tons of shades to pick from. Minato's pretty sure they can find one that goes well with the reds they have.

"You wanted the Uchiha out of the picture once." Tsume agreed gruffly, baring her teeth. "You told us not to trust them, but that was all founded on a misunderstanding! What's to say you won't turn around and try to do the same thing to one of us one day? We are better united-- now more than ever we need to stand together. I'm in favor." 

Pink it is. Kushina will be on board with it too. Naruto is bound to love it. But if not nature, what theme goes with pink? Maybe nature, but more floral?

"I am as well." Shikaku raised his hand. "We need people we can trust and collaborate with. People who will hear us. So far, Lord Namikaze has allowed us to express our worries about the state of our clans, our relationships with other villages, and any issues we want to discuss. He takes action and does not stagnate on old ideals as your generation seems so keen to. We honor you for your commitment to Konoha, but now it is your time to rest."

One by one, other hands began to go up, all with a not-so-shocking lack of hesitation. Tsume Inuzuka in particular seemed especially delighted, cackling as she threw her hand up in the air even higher. Her ninken even raised a paw which really drove it home. The Third smiled, seeming amused by the indignant sputtering of Koharu and Homura both.

Minato blinked out of his train of thought when Lord Third jammed his sandal down on his foot, giving him a pointed glance. He paused for a moment before raising his hand as well, offering a bright smile in response to the venomous glares he received from the two elders. 

...Former elders. Right. See, he's been paying attention. He knows what they're voting on. Wow, who knew that his whole plan to start changing the village for the better would be this easy. He didn't even have to do anything to get rid of the corruption. The corruption practically got rid of itself.

"You'll regret this." Koharu hissed out, though she did primly stand. Hiruzen rose to follow, bowing his head to all the clan heads briefly. They were respectful in their nods back, though their expressions remained tight. 

Minato had sort of wanted to chew Homura out more for his son comment, but whatever. He can do that later. Or just tax him some insane amount for something he didn't even do. He'll decide later with Kushina's help. She's way better at vengeance than him.

The exiting of the former council left a weird silence in its wake. Nobody knew exactly what to do or what had even just happened. The council was sort of set in stone traditionally, but this batch just... didn't have the respect of Minato or anyone else anymore. They hadn't for a long time. 

Konoha needed a change. They all knew it, whether they'd discussed it in depth or not. They were a nation aging out of a need for war as they modernized and found their footing. Territory was established now, and Minato knew that it was time to start looking inwards instead of fearing what might come from outwards. 

He hoped everyone else knew it too. To him, it seemed they did.

"Huh. Well, that worked out." Minato said into the silence. He frowned. "I guess it's time to start nominating new council members. Any ideas?" 

Everyone made various faces of discomfort at the realization that they were going to have to replace them with someone knew and potentially unknown. And yeah-- yeah, Minato could get that.

~~~~~~ 

"Not even a day out and I immediately get poisoned." Naruto sighed heavily as he dug his kunai into his hand, letting the poison bleed out. Tazuna gawked at his casualness. "I guess it could be worse. At least it's not like, good poison. Believe it."

And it really wasn't. Kurama was already healing the wound up, and soon there wouldn't even be a scar left behind. Good, too, because there was no way he was explaining that to his dad. As far as his dad was ever going to know, they made it to the Wave with minimal altercation and absolutely no injuries. Regardless of what was to come the rest of the way there.

Sasuke gave him a look, staring at his hand and frowning for a moment before looking away. Naruto glared at him back just for fun, ignoring the way Sakura shivered off to his right, her teeth chattering from the adrenaline. All the color had been sucked from her face. 

Apparently this was her first real fight-- not that she did anything. Who would've thought. Naruto hoped that, for her sake, she got used to it soon. Because no fucking way it didn't happen again with him here.

"Y-You just killed that guy! And got stabbed!" Tazuna waved his flask at Naruto, who scrunched up his nose when a little sake splashed out near his feet. "You're children!" 

"Children who are certified to kill." Sasuke muttered. He looked suddenly annoyed by the comment, crossing his arms over his chest. "And it wasn't just Naruto. I killed one too."

Tazuna stared at Sasuke like he was seeing him for the first time. Naruto had to pity the guy just a little. Probably a total mind fuck to have a band of kids still going through puberty swoop in and save your ass. Talk about embarrassing for him, by the way. No way he ever lived that one down.

Anyway. Those guys sucked, but they were also remarkably... well. Not as weak as they should've been considering this was supposed to be a C-rank mission. Nothing they couldn't handle, but nothing they were meant to handle either.

Naruto flicked as much blood off his kunai as he could before wiping it on his pant leg and jamming it back in his kunai pouch. He'd brought a collection of jumpsuits, and this had just become the certified fighting one that he would burn at the end of this. Lest his parents discover it and realize he got more hurt than he ever planned on letting on.

"You think you're going to go back home and tell them everything went great?" Kurama snorted lazily. "No way in hell they believe you. Sure, they're pathetically slow, but not that pathetically slow."

They didn't need to believe him. They just had to be unable to prove him wrong, which meant no lasting injuries, no bloody clothes, and no dirty weapons. He and Kakashi hadn't made a verbal agreement on it, but the mutual understanding hung in the air nonetheless. 

"It doesn't matter who killed who." Kakashi sighed like the weight of the world was on his shoulders even though he hadn't even had to do anything. "Those were chunin from Kirigakure. They weren't waiting here for no reason-- they had a target."

They all turned to look at Tazuna. His shoulders raised defensively almost immediately, discomfort clear on his face. His gaze darted down to the cooling bodies on the ground, his expression growing tight. Naruto sniffed a bit.

The more Tazuna hesitates, the worse the situation probably is. Which is ass because they really, really can't turn around and go back. If they go back now with failure, Naruto's dad is going to use it as an excuse to literally never give them another mission out of the village again. Whatever lies and deceit are going on here, they're just going to have to weather the storm. 

They stare. Tazuna fidgets. They stare some more. Tazuna fidgets. Kakashi raises a brow and starts to turn on his heel, raising a hand to wave them along, and--

"Th-The corrupt Tycoon, Gato." Tazuna blurted out. Kakashi stopped. "What... What do you know about him?

~~~~~~~~

So the C-rank turns into a B-rank, which they're sort of equipped for but also sort of not equipped for. They end up flipping a coin and then decide to go on with it. How bad can a corrupt business man possibly be? Or are those famous last words? Those might be famous last words.

Anyway, apparently Gato is trying to completely assume control over the Wave. He's keeping them broke, starving, and trapped. Tazuna didn't have enough money to afford a higher level mission so he'd paid for what he could and hoped for the best. Not the most solid course of action, but Naruto could see where the guy was coming from.

He wanted better for his homeland. Someone had barged their way in and was changing things for the worse. People were getting sick and dying, rebellion was met with execution, taxes were imposed and farmland sabotaged. A reign of terror was cast across their entire island, and it wasn't going to stop unless they could get that bridge built and open trading back up. Tazuna had already risked everything crossing the water to begin with.

Was he disappointed to receive a bunch of kids instead of getting lucky? Yeah, definitely. Was he pleasantly surprised? Uh... Hopefully? That part was still up in the air, honestly. Naruto thought he'd gotten pretty fortunate all things considered.

Not only does he have Kakashi of the Sharingan, he's got the Nine Tailed Fox-- not that he knows about that currently-- and... ugh. Sasuke. Naruto hates to admit he's capable, but he did unlock his Sharingan when they were like, six. Which was totally thanks to Naruto and he takes full credit, but still.

Sakura was maybe an outlier-- no offense to her. She just wasn't as up to snuff yet. Naruto had faith she'd get there eventually. If she could get over the whole getting paralyzed in action situations thing, she'd probably deal a great right hook.

"What Gato's been doing to you is horrible." Speaking of Sakura, she sounded incredibly distressed and full of sympathy right about now. "It's no wonder you came to the Leaf for help! He sounds awful!" 

"Awful might be an understatement. Believe it." Naruto grimaced. "Imagine getting your land owned by a guy named Cat. And imagine that guy being like, four feet tall with a receding hairline. I'm pretty sure I've had a nightmare about that exact scenario."

Sakura elbowed him in the side. Naruto hissed in pain, jolting away from her in such a way that the entire boat seemed to jostle and rock. Sasuke grabbed him by the back of his shirt and yanked him back into a sitting position, shooting them a glare heated enough to melt steel. 

Kakashi stared blandly out into the fog, definitely questioning all his life's decisions. Naruto winced in sympathy. Someone was going back to weekly sessions with Ayumu when they got back to Konoha, that's for sure. Trauma comes in many forms.

"Try not to drown us, would you?" Tazuna sighed, taking another swig of alcohol. "These waters are dicey as is. We're in the channel now, so it's not so bad here, but further out it's almost impossible to navigate. That's one of the main reasons it's been so hard to get off the mainland. The water sinks anything we try to take out the back or sides, and it's too easy for him to police the inner strip between the mainland and the Wave."

Inside Naruto, Kurama roused at the words. Naruto perked up too, mind flashing back to the maps he and his mother had studied, and the books collected under his bed back at home. He glanced down at the boat they were on, wondering if it would stand up to a (completely accidental) trip across the ocean.

"Choppy?" Naruto couldn't help but ask. He must've sounded way too interested because Kakashi's sharp gaze fell on him and narrowed. "Has it always been like that?"

Tazuna frowned, shaking his head. A tight expression crossed his face, his brows creasing. He slouched into his seat and it made him look far older than he was. Naruto let his hand dip over the side of the boat, his fingertips skimming the salty water. Something in him shuddered when he did.

"No. Not always. The sea was once kind to us. I remember sailing it myself as a much younger man." Tazuna sighed. "It must've been near three decades ago or so that it simply... grew angry and never stopped."

"They say the fog got thicker, the waves more dangerous." The man steering their boat agreed tensely, tone quiet. "Go too far out and it's a death sentence." 

Sakura gulped. Naruto pressed his lips into a thin line, not meeting Kakashi's gaze as it stayed trained on him. Sasuke grimaced a little, looking contemplative as he turned to observe the mist around them as if it would tell him its secrets. 

Naruto shifted in his seat. The air was wet, smelling of the sea. It was almost deafeningly quiet out there, a sort of stillness that made it a little harder to breathe if you focused in on it too closely. It surrounded them on all sides, pushing in tight and narrowing the world into a single pocket. Most would feel uncertain and claustrophobic in the face of it.

Naruto couldn't help but notice that rather than unsettled, this was the safest he'd felt since stepping foot out of the village. He wondered what that said about him-- if it meant anything.

"It seems pretty calm right now." Kakashi pointed out, still staring at Naruto. And he was right. Their boat ride, barring Naruto almost tipping them over, had been completely smooth. They glided through the water cleanly, the waves lapping lullingly, gentle in their nudging. 

Tazuna got an odd look on his face. He glanced up at the man steering the boat, sharing a look with him. They both look a bit perplexed.

"Yeah." The boat driver agreed, tone considering. "I think this might be the calmest I've ever seen it." 

Kurama's chakra shifted inside him. Naruto got the impression the fox was probably grinning.

~~~~~~~~~ 

Naruto knows the moment he sees that snowy rabbit that they're fucked. And lo and behold, he's right.

Remember when they said it was a B-rank and everything was going to be fine, they'd have a great time, and it would all go smoothly? Totally a lie and Naruto definitely jinxed it. This is ass, Kakashi's about to pass out from Chakra exhaustion, and Naruto is contemplating undergoing his Nine Tailed Fox Magic Girl Transformation so he can go gold and clean up.

"Stop calling it that. It's not magic. You are not a magic girl." Kurama snapped out. "And you will burn yourself if you try to use my chakra in such a large quantity with no training. You're not ready. Your body can hold it, not harness it." 

"Dude, stop being a buzzkill." Naruto hissed out. "What else am I supposed to do? Put my hands together and ask him to pretty please not kill us and to let Kakashi go? He's a crazy man in cow print leg warmers that carries around a giant cleaver for fun. There's no way that's going to work."

Sakura and Sasuke both turned to him in perfect sync, looking both concerned and flabbergasted by his poor timing. Which yeah, fair. Probably not the time to start talking to the voices in his head, but at least his is real. 

Anyway, not the point right now. Let Naruto get you back up to speed. White rabbit showed up: bad sign, because it's not winter. Giant sword almost beheaded them all: bad sign, because they almost got beheaded. Dude that owns the sword is quote-on-quote "legendary": bad sign, because they're not.

Well, Kakashi is. But Kakashi also has to make sure they don't die and Tazuna doesn't die, which adds a whole new limit on what he's able to do and how far he's able to go from them. To make a long story short, they totally duked it out for about thirty or so minutes before Kashi went in for a killing blow and got stuck inside a water bubble.

They're sort of at a western stand off now. Zabuza wants to kill the bridge builder. He also wants to kill Kakashi. He can't kill Kakashi without letting him out of the bubble. If Kakashi tries to get out of the bubble, Zabuza will attack them instead. 

It's all very dicey. Nobody is sure what's happening, Naruto least of all. He just knows it's high stakes and they should probably do something about it as soon as humanly possible.

"Are you seriously talking to yourself right now?" Sakura hushed out in a low, harsh voice. Naruto shot her a look.

"No, Sakura. I'm convening with the demon fox in my stomach and asking him for ideas." Naruto gestured wildly at his stomach. She blanched. "What are you doing? Helping, perhaps? Coming up with a super genius plan? No? That's what I thought." 

Okay, that was harsh. This is a high stress situation though, right? He's definitely stressed. That's his basically-brother in that bubble right there. If they come back without him, Naruto's dad will definitely know it didn't go well.

"I forgot about the fox." Sasuke muttered with dawning realization. He turned to Naruto, observing him in a new light. "What're we still standing here for then? Just go have it eat him."

Naruto made a face. Sakura made a face. Tazuna made a face. Kurama was also probably making a face. Just his BFF intuition telling him so, that's all.

Who do these people think he is? Naruto doesn't want that dude anywhere near his or Kurama's mouth, thank you very much. Who the hell knows where he's been. If the striped pants weren't already a red flag, then the shirtless part would have to be. And again, that's not even considering the cow print arm and leg warmers. Who told him that was okay? Do rogue ninjas even care about fashion? Does Naruto want to know?

"Yeah, uh. Kurama is a he, and he doesn't eat people." Anymore. "Also, I may or may not explode if I try to channel his chakra. Don't ask why. It's just a thing, believe it."

"And it's too wet to set anything on fire." Kurama added, sounding sour. Naruto was sort of grateful for that one in all honesty. Who knows what the fox would do. 

Sasuke and Sakura looked not impressed at all by the conclusions being drawn here. Naruto's not impressed either. He can't even blame them. It 100% sucks booty ass that he can't use the whole golden cloak thing. Man, he knew he should've spent less time reading seal books and more time trying to up his resistance to it!

"What's the point of having a demon fox in your stomach if it can't even do anything?" Sakura muttered. Seeing Naruto's glare, she rolled her eyes. "Ugh, fine. If he can't do anything."

Sasuke grunted in agreement. Across from them where he stood on the lake, Zabuza's water clone turned to look back at its creator, who was stuck holding Kakashi hostage still. The main Zabuza shrugged. The clone shrugged back.

Actually... wait a second.

"I'm sorry, what fox are we talking about?" Tazuna cut in, voice shaking. "Are you going to do anything? Because it's been five minutes and it's only a matter of time before he finally gets bored and kills us."

"Clones." Naruto realized, eyes wide. "Kurama, I can't cover myself in your chakra but could-- could a clone, or something? Or would it pop? Because a souped up tailed beast powered clone might be a little sturdier than a regular one, you know?"

There was a moment of silence. Naruto could feel Kurama's chakra swell in him, distinctly warm against the chill. Sakura made an appreciative noise as heat began to radiate off of him, scooting a bit closer. She was taking this fight a lot better than the last one, Naruto was glad to find.

Naruto flexed his hands open and closed for a moment whilst Kurama moved things around. For clones, chakra wouldn't need to be channeled to the entire surface of his body. Just into his hands-- really just his fingertips, even. 

More shifting. Naruto felt a bit dizzy, almost high under the sudden increase and decrease of Kurama's power. Kurama hummed consideringly. Naruto could almost imagine his expression, ears pressed back in thought and eyes narrowed contemplatively. 

Standing on the lake, Zabuza's water clone checked its imaginary watch. Kakashi was dragging his hands up and down his face, exhausted beyond measure. He'd already tried telling them to run. They hadn't listened, clearly.

"...Well, I guess we could try." Kurama didn't sound too sure. "Do the hand signs but let me channel the chakra. We'll see what happens." 

Naruto does as he's told. It's weird not channeling chakra when he does. He very nearly brings some forward out of reflex, just barely managing to stop himself. It's like trying to go through the motions of writing without actually holding a pencil or something. Everything about it feels wrong.

Kurama's chakra barely skims its way out as he reaches the end. It feels unfamiliar and strange, but he feels the jutsu trigger as he finishes the signs nonetheless. There's a trio of puffs in front of him-- probably the smallest assortment of clones he's ever managed to make, but then again, Kurama's chakra control has always been a whole lot better than his.

Sakura lets out a horrified gasp as the smoke clears, taking the barest of steps back. Tazuna chokes. Even Sasuke looks unnerved, shoulders going tight and hunching to his ears. Zabuza straightens considerably, eyes zeroed in on them and sword already sliding off where he'd had it propped on his shoulder.

Naruto stares at the clones, eyes wide. They look like a children's drawing gone wrong. 

They're him but they're... not at the same time. Red eyes, teeth too big and too sharp, gold and orange swirling chakra bubbling from their mouths like foam. They look near feral with their slitted pupils and jagged whisker marks, twitching oddly and strangely hunched, limbs contorted in ways no limbs should contort. They've got weird, furry hands and claws.

They're, in a word, awful. Absolutely the worst thing Naruto has ever created. Inside him, Kurama's wince is so strong he can literally feel it rattling up his spine. 

"Wow. That's definitely... something." Naruto and Kurama were going to have to work on that, because this was not okay. "What, did my chakra get mixed in with yours on accident or something? Why do they look like that?"

One of the clones snapped its teeth at him. Naruto drew back, offended.

"Clearly." Kurama said dryly. "Because I channeled my chakra raw into just your hands instead of letting it resonate with your core-- which is the cloak thing you are not ready for, so do not ask-- I'm assuming something got lost in translation."

"Yeah, and gave them rabies." Naruto winced, taking another step back. "Are they going t--"

Zabuza's clone took the barest of steps forward. In an instant, the three clones were snapping their heads towards them, eyes so wide they looked ready to bulge out of their sockets. Their heads all cocked, necks cracking when they did. Zabuza froze, staring. 

Zabuza didn't seem to know what to think-- and he could join the goddamn club on that one. Naruto's got no idea what to think either. Sakura looks like she might actually be sick, which is fair. One of the clones has a backwards leg. Literally it is backwards. He's looking right at it. 

Just how little does Kurama know about human anatomy that his clones came out like that? He should've just made himself or something. It probably would've been... actually, no. Kurama's pretty cute, and he'd be even cuter at domesticated dog size. These were way scarier.

One of the clones opened its mouth, releasing a strange, eerie clicking noise. It's limb cracked oddly, twisting. Naruto's grimace deepened. Zabuza's entire face scrunched up.

"What the fuck are those supposed to be?" He asked, sounding like he might genuinely want to know. Naruto didn't have time to answer him. The clones were all snarling and leaping at him before he could so much as open his mouth.

(Zabuza never stood a chance.)

~~~~

Uhhhhh as usual you can read up to chapter 11 on Patreon's early access, the link is in the bioooo there's also some other Naruto stuff on there. Idk what's going on ever in my life

Here's a snippet from chapter 11 bc that's the one I have open:

"Well, the bad news is that there's not a single puppy on this entire island." Kakashi says once he and Sakura finally stumble back into Tazuna's house hours after leaving. "The good news is that there's an abundance of raccoons, and Naruto was stupid enough to mistake the Nine Tailed Fox for a giant rat. I think we can sell it." 

c'est la vie thanks for reading pookies sorry for the hustle but grind never stops my cup ramen isn't gonna pay for itself pls don't hate me if fan artists can sell sasunaru porn then 

Oh more about patreon-- the second tier gives you early access to this story and also access to all the Naruto drafts for other stories I have and also some others series. The third tier lets you make requests. The fourth tier lets you make big boy requests. Or something idk it's all really loose