Greetings once again, inferior mortals so prone to procrastination! (Ref would like to add that you should really do what you're supposed to be doing, after you've read this excellent edition to our wonderful spam book.) This here is the first chapter of a very impressive, if fictionalized, version of a real road trip which happened on one of the GFC's very questionable group chats. It was written by Ref, and I have determined that it has won the google form for this chapter. Please enjoy, if necessary.

According to Kate (more commonly referred to among the group as Katester), the universe's first growth ray had been invented in a scientific lab only a couple hours away. It wasn't long before a road trip was thought up, its chief initial conspirators Hex, Charles, and Ref. Plans were made. Cars were stolen. They got ready to go make Rainbow, Hex's lizard, the size of a cat.

Hex arrived first. The trio had planned to gather at the entrance to the first universe, so she glanced around for the most memorable spot. After a moment's contemplation, she decided on the large silver-hued tree, with twisting branches and pastel-blue leaves. I'll be by the big space tree, she texted the others. Rainbow crawled onto her head. She began to wait.

It was only a few minutes before Ref arrived, bouncing into the street and glancing around wildly. Hex grinned when she saw her distinctive pig face, waving her hand in the air. "Hi Reffy!"

"Hex! Is that you?" Ref ran over to her friend, gesturing towards a stand the gorgodon had failed to notice. "Let's go get some toenails!"

"Sure," Hex said gamely, and it was scarcely minutes before they were each holding sweaty containers filled with piping hot deep-fried toenail, sugar and butter melted on top to form a true treat. "Thish ish rully good," Hex admitted, mouth full of the crunchy dessert.

Ref grinned. "Right? I haven't had one in forever."

They munched for about an hour, making small talk and ignoring the increasing awkwardness, until finally Hex asked the elephant in the room. "Where the tides is Charles?"

"That is a good question. He said he was bringing the car..."

After some frantic texting (he hadn't even left yet, apparently) Charles finally arrived, toting along a grey car. If either were surprised that he turned out to be a large sentient mushroom, they didn't show it.

The three would have left right then, but Hex had to go briefly to buy some crickets for Rainbow, and in that time Charles snuck away to slurp some vodka. When he came back, it was officially decided that Hex would be the driver instead. They climbed into the car and Hex was about to drive when they got a text from Megs, who wanted to know if they could join them.

While they waited for Megs to arrive, Hex and Ref began to play the radio, cracking up when their new favorite song, Spacepacito, played. They were so busy laughing that they didn't notice when the now-drunk Charles snuck away to the vodka stand again.

Megs showed up, and after a few minutes of chatting they wandered away to check out the vendors. (Ref and Hex both recommended the toenails.) After a few minutes had passed, Hex decided to go looking for Charles - who then promptly stumbled back the instant she was gone. When Ref refused to let Charles drive (drunk driving is a no-no kids! be like that cool pig-girl Ref and don't succumb to peer pressure! 😎) he left again, just in time for Megs to come back. At this point, they were never going to leave - proved true when Megs disappeared again in time for Hex to finally arrive.

After a few minutes, in which Charles again returned and Megs sadly let the others know that they were being forced to return home, because, pancakes, the original three road trippers officially set out on what would become the most suspenseful road trip EVER...

If you readers would like to know what happened next, please let the GFC know; Ref has not yet completed (or started, in fact) the second chapter. Rest assured, it is very chaotic.

Another google form will be created for the next chapter; in the meantime, please promote the GFC to all of your friends, as we are deeply and sincerely amazing, and stay tuned for more information on our (supposedly) upcoming book.

Have a decent day.

-the Dood