Hello, 'tis I, not Ref. Have some incorrect quotes to hold you over until we start posting again. *sparkles* Enjoy *sparkles*

Cynth: I'd like to offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals

Jared, holding a python: Guys I impulsively bought a snake, what do I name him

Ari: You did WHAT–

Kei: William Snakespeare

Officer: you're being arrested for speeding on a scooter with three people

Ari: I'm sorry, officer, we're in a rush and-- wait, three?

Aidyn: fuck

Ari: what

Kei: JARED FELL OFF

Cynth: I am at a loss for words!

Will, telling Cybele later: Despite being lost for words, Cynth yelled at me for the next 45 minutes.

Cynth: Sometimes I drink milk straight out of the container

Will: The cow?

Cynth: What?

Cybele: Will, W H Y?

Ari, driving Kei and Aidyn: So how was your day?

Kei: We almost got surprise adopted!

Ari: What?

Aidyn: We almost got kidnapped.

Ari: Oh, okay.

Ari: *slams on the breaks* WAIT, WHAT?!

Cybele: What is your biggest weakness?

Will: I can be uncooperative.

Cybele: Okay, can you give me an example?

Will: No.

Jared: Welcome to my very first vlog in which I will try different hair products!

Jared: *sprays the hairspray into his mouth*

Jared: Well, right off the bat I can tell you that this one is not very good

Will: Am I in trouble?

Cynth: Take a guess.

Will: No?

Cynth: Take another guess.

Aidyn: Don't worry, I know exactly what I'm doing. Everything is going to be fine!

Kei: How can you still say that?

Aidyn: Because sometimes, when things get tough, denial is all we have.

Will: Things have actually been going really well with Cynth. Our friendship is in a really good place.

Will: Last week I said, "Did you know the weiner dog is neither a weiner nor a dog?" Instead of saying, "Fuck off, Willa," she said, "Okay."

Aidyn: Time sensitive question: How to flirt with a boy

Jared: Throw rocks at him

Kei: Start a cult in his honor

Calix: Kill him

Aidyn: thanks guys

Jared, motioning to a Halloween display: All these ghosts! All these ghosts! I still can't find a boo.

Aidyn: There are seven chairs and ten kids. What do you do?

Kei: Have everyone stand.

Ari: Bring three more chairs!

Jared: The most important ones can sit down.

Calix: Kill three.

Damon: I'm sick and tired of being called 'mortal' like, you don't know that. Neither do I. I have never died even ONCE. Nothing has been proven yet. Stop making assumptions. It's rude.

Calix: You really put aside everything and came all this way for me? How did you even get here so fast?

Kei: Several traffic violations.

Aidyn: Three counts of resisting arrest.

Jared: Roughly thirteen cans of energy drinks.

Ari: Also, that's not our car.

Cybele: Okay, truth or dare?

Will: Truth

Cybele: How many hours have you slept this week?

Will:

Will: ...Dare

Cybele: Go to bed.

Will: I don't like this game.

Ari: Are we really going to let Jared keep Calix?

Kei: We kept Aidyn.

Cynth: Okay okay stop asking me if I'm straight, gay, bi, whatever. I identify as a FUCKING THREAT.

Kei, dumping out a shopping bag full of Lunchables onto the table: Tonight, we feast.

Calix: *accidentally hits someone in the face*

Calix: *trying to decide between saying "I'm fucking sorry" and "are you okay?"*

Calix: ARE YOU FUCKING SORRY?!

Ari: You will machete through this!

Ari: *make it

Ari: do not machete your way through this

Calix: too late

Kei: do you ever just get water hungry

Ari: you mean thirsty?

Kei: water hungry

Kei: *collapses from dehydration*

Lyla, to Aidyn: I dare you to—

Damon: Aidyn isn't allowed to accept dares.

Aidyn: Apparently I have "no regard for my personal safety"

Jared: *dials 911*

Jared: hey i hate to be "that guy" but i glued myself to the ceiling again

Cybele: You have to apologize to Will

Cynth: Fine.

Cynth: 'Unfuck you' or whatever.

Ari: Kei... Why did you draw a pentagram on the floor?

Kei: Your text told me to satanize the house before you returned.

Ari:

Ari: I wrote sanitize, Kei.

Cybele: Violence isn't the answer.

Will: You're right.

Cybele: *sighs in relief*

Will: Violence is the question.

Cybele: What?

Will, bolting away: And the answer is yes.

Cybele, running after her: NO-

Jared: Treat spiders the way you want to be treated.

Calix: Killed without hesitation.

Jared: No.

Will: *Gets down on one knee*

Cynth: Oh my god, it's finally happening.

Will: *Falls over*

Cynth: The poison is kicking in

Ari, about Jared: Apparently we're getting someone new in the group.

Kei: Are we stealing them?

Aidyn: New or used?

Ari: Wonderful responses, both of you.

Jared: On a scale from "damn Daniel" to "fre sha vaca do", how are you feeling?

Aidyn: In between "it's an avocado, thanks" and "how did you defeat Captain America", but as a solid answer I would say "I don't need a degree to be a clothing hanger". How about you, Kei?

Kei: Probably "road work ahead".

Calix: I speak many languages, and this is none of them.

Cynth: You'll have a hard time believing this because it never happens, but I made a mistake.

Damon: Physically, yes, I could fight a bird. But emotionally? Imagine the toll.

Jared: You can de-escalate any situation by simply saying, 'Are we about to kiss?'

Jared: Doesn't work for getting out of speeding tickets, by the way.

Aidyn: What if the person who named Walkie Talkies named everything?

Jared: Pregnancy tests are Maybe Babies

Ari: Socks are Feetie Heaties

Kei: Forks are Stabby Grabbies

Ari: Defibrillators are Heartie Starties

Kei: Nightmares are Dreamy Screamies

Jared: Stamps are Lickie Stickies

Calix, annoyed: You are disappointments

Kei: What did you guys get in your yearbook?

Jared: 'Prettiest Smile'

Ari: 'Nicest Personality'

Aidyn: 'Most likely to start a bar fight'

Calix: 'Least likely to start a bar fight, but most likely to win one'

Kei: Why isn't the statue smirking at me?

Calix: It isn't smirking at anyone, they're all just imagining it.

Kei: Three of us saw it, Calix. How do you explain that?

Calix: *points at Aidyn* Sleep deprivation. *points at Ari* Paranoia. *points at Jared* Delusional personality disorder.

Aidyn: I've come to a point in my life where I need a stronger word than fuck

Jared: *signs a legal document with a glitter gel pen*

Calix: Schrödinger's cat is overrated. If you wanna see something that's both dead and alive you can talk to me any time of the day. (only don't cuz he's an introvert)

Ari: he's suffering from internal bleeding

Kei: isn't that where your blood's supposed to be

Also there's no fancy author's note because again, this isn't Ref--bonus points if you can guess who it is...

Hope you enjoyed!