A/N Two weeks after the auction, the Van Eck mansion is settling down. Wylan, with the help of Jesper, is sorting out all the fortunes his father has and finding his place on the council.

What Wylan doesn't know is that Jesper has the itch to return to the staves and that he's been having nightmares.

Through listening, hugs, kisses, and some suggestive comments, Wylan helps Jesper through it.
And a label is found for their relationship through it.

***

Jesper Fahey

He was in the Staves, table lined up with cards, and though the night had been failings, he could feel it about to happen. He placed down his last stack of kruge. It was lost. He'd lost all the money. And suddenly, the other gamblers weren't random gamblers. There was Kaz, his father, and Wylan.

"There you go, Jesper," Kaz muttered, "Lost everything again. A disappointment, aren't you?"

His father, eyes worried and distant and betrayed, "What has become of you, son?"

And Wylan, blue eyes flashing, "I thought we could make this work, Jes. Clearly not."

That's when Jesper gasped awake for the third time that week, breathing far too heavily, hands still wrapped around Wylan's sleeping frame. It had been just over two weeks since the auction, and Jesper and Wylan had ditched the thought of separate bedrooms on the second day. Due to Wylan's bruised ribs, however, their closeness had only been limited to kissing.

It was going so well for the first week. Jesper read to Wylan, they got everything in order and during the second week, the nightmare started. Him gambling everything away and disappointing the people he didn't want to disappoint the most.

Like he always did when this particular nightmare happened, Jesper rose, covered Wylan with a blanket and headed to a quieter room and started pacing the floors, the itch to go play one game getting worse and worse with every passing day.

He knew he should wake Wylan but couldn't bring himself to, so he paced and paced, thinking about anything that would distract him from the want to bounce into the Staves.

He started when he heard a soft voice from the doorway, "Jes?"

Wylan Van Eck

For the third time, Wylan was woken up when Jesper headed out. The past few times, he'd let it slip. He was tired mentally from doing his best to revive the Van Eck fortunes, emotionally tired with all his father had done and helping his mother, and physically tired from the beating he'd endured and his stupid ribs that refused to heal. But this time, he forced himself out of bed, shoving on one of Jesper's shirt as a jacket over his night vest.

He found Jesper violently pacing a guest room and leaned against the doorway, "Jes?"

Jesper turned, his grey eyes startled. And soon, he put a mask on, and it felt like he was never troubled. "Merchling! Shouldn't you be asleep?"

"Could ask you the same," Wylan said, "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," Jesper lied.

"You don't have to do that," Wylan said softly, "Don't have to pretend everything is perfect all the time. What's going on, Jes?"

Jesper looked to the floor as if it may have the answers that were required. "I want to go to the Staves."

He looked ashamed and Wylan knew all too well the shame that came with a fault no one understood. He was going to make sure Jesper felt understood and wanted. "Come back to bed with me. It's awfully cold without you."

"Inviting me into your bed? Now that's an offer I won't refuse," Jesper grinned.

"We've been sharing a bed for days, Jes."

They went back to their bedroom and normally, Wylan curved into Jesper's arms, but now, Jesper lay his head down on Wylan's stomach as Wylan brushed the hair away from Jesper's forehead. "Talk to me," Wylan murmured.

"I keep getting the itch. That if I go play one game, all will be okay. And when I don't, I keep getting nightmares. Of losing all our money, facing Kaz's disappointment, my dad's disappointment... and... and your disappointment."

"Jes," Wylan muttered, "I'd never be disappointed at you. This gambling thing isn't something to be ashamed of. It's a wound we're healing. You've had the itch, you've had nightmares and yet here you are, in my arms and not at a table. You're doing better, Jes. I know that. I believe that, and I always will."

"You know I don't deserve you, Wy?" Jesper said.

"Nonsense," Wylan protested, "You deserve me just as much as I deserve you. And last time I was having my nightmares, you told me just how much I deserved your care. So same goes for you."

"You deserve better than me, Wy."

"I would spend my four million kruge disagreeing."

"Of course you would."

Then there was silence though neither of them actually fell asleep. Finally, Wylan asked, "Can I ask how you stopped yourself from getting away to the Staves? Just so I can do something similar next time to distract you."

"I was thinking of you," Jesper said easily, "You and your damn curls."

"Oh," Wylan obviously blushed, "What about me?"

"What it would be like when we can finally spend a night together without getting cockblocked by your ribs," Jesper grinned, and Wylan went redder. "Okay. Real answer: I was thinking about everything you'd been through, how strong you'd been, how right you've been about my Grisha powers. I was thinking about how brave and courageous you were and how, even if I didn't do this for myself, I had to it for the pretty face that believed in me when I felt like I couldn't."

"Jes..." Wylan had no words for this, "I was expecting something more along the lines of 'oh, I was thinking about my revolvers, or I was thinking about cakes.'"

"What would you have said if I said that?" Jesper asked, amused.

"I don't know," Wylan groaned, "Built you an impossible target practice? Get my mother to teach you to bake?"

"You'd do that for me, Wy?" Jesper asked and though there was humour in his voice, there was also the sound of a boy who'd never been reassured, never been told he wasn't a disappointment.

"Anything for you, Fahey."

"This works," Jesper said after a while, "Talking to you. I haven't thought about cards or money or anything. Just your voice and how goddamn sexy you look in my shirt."

Wylan couldn't help but murmur quietly, "Once my ribs are healed, I can think of so many ways to keep you distracted."

"Oh, my word," Jesper gasped, "By all the Saints that watch over this godforsaken city, did Wylan Van Sunshine just make a suggestive comment?"

"I did offer you a down payment."

"Stop talking, Wy," Jesper warned, "My immense self-control has a limit."

"Maybe I should go to Ravka and get the most powerful Healer there to put my ribs back together," Wylan suggested.

"Just so you can make a down payment and few extra to be safe?" Jesper winked.

"That's one reason. An extremely compelling reason might I add."

"I think I can safely say you've been corrupted and ruined, sunshine."

"Not sure about the ruined part yet," Wylan said under his breath and Jesper actually seemed flabbergasted. If his stupid rib was okay, Wylan would've kissed that surprised expression off and seen where the night led.

"Wylan Van Eck!" Jesper tutted, "Such rude language. You're no longer a Barrel rat. You're a merch. Act like one."

"Too hard when I've got Jesper Fahey in my bed," Wylan countered and was pleased when Jesper groaned with self-restraint.

"You know what, Wy?" Jesper said, "Next time I get the itch, just talk to me like you're doing now and I'm going to be so hot and bothered that I wouldn't even dream of cards."

"Sounds like a plan," Wylan whispered and tilted Jesper's face up so he could kiss him. Kissing him always felt wild and exhilarating, and Jesper smiled into the kiss and then Wylan clutched the bedsheets tight when Jesper kissed his neck.

"Jes, Jes, Jes," Wylan murmured, fists clenching and unclenching in the sheets, in Jesper's back, "Jesper Fahey, stop unless you don't want my ribs to heal."

"Ugh," Jesper groaned, flopping his head onto Wylan's stomach again, "If it isn't healed in the next week, I don't care. I'm going to take you apart."

Wylan flushed. "Sounds excellent. We should sleep now. And I hate to ruin this mood, but genuinely, tell me when you get the itch or the nightmare next time. We can distract you, and no I'm not talking about down payments and if it's nightmares, I have a lot of cuddles to offer. You know, since I'm your boyfriend and all."

Jesper quirked an eyebrow. Wylan started to stutter, "Oh- I meant if you wanted to be my boyfriend. We should go on more dates and stuff, but after getting nearly killed a few times, I don't really want to take chances."

"Hell yeah, I want to be your boyfriend," Jesper smiled, "And thank you. I can't make any promises after shutting down my emotions for the better part of my life, but I can promise to try."

"And in that case, I can't ask any more of you," Wylan said and flashed a beaming smile at Jesper.

Jesper said, "I keep seeing more and more of you and I'm convinced calling you Wylan Van Sunshine is the most accurate and best decision I've made in my life."

"Shut up," Wylan said, but he was, you guessed it, blushing, "Good night, Jes."

"Good night, Wy," Jesper said, pulling Wylan closer, "Thank you."

"Stop thanking and get some much-needed beauty sleep."

"I'm beautiful as is, thank you very much, merchling."

"Yes, you're gorgeous," Wylan allowed, and he wasn't lying, "Now go to sleep."

Wylan's smooth fingers traced patterns in Jesper's dark hair and soon, Jesper's eyes were closing.

Jesper Fahey

With Wylan Van Sunshine's fingers massaging his scalp and holding him closer, and with his reassuring words echoing in his mind, Jesper fell asleep. And the nightmares didn't come at all. 

***

A/N Hope you enjoyed! Please comment, vote, share and leave suggestions!

Love, IC x