A/N A meaningful conversation.

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Inej Ghafa

They stuffed themselves with food and her parents had tried staying up, but they were too tired and had returned to the mansion's guest bedroom.

Inej had always been careful of hoping, avoiding it at all costs, but somehow, after he'd paid of her contract (she still didn't know with what money), changed her bandages, held her hand, kissed her neck, bought her a boat and brought back her parents, she started hoping. Hoping for the one only Kaz Brekker.

"Where'd Kaz go?" she asked Jesper and Wylan who were still seated at the table.

"Back to the Slat probably," Jesper answered and then hesitated, "You're going?"

"I'll come back now and then," Inej said and meant it with all her heart, "Can't get rid of me that easily, Fahey."

"Your parents?" Wylan asked.

And for this, Inej didn't have an answer. "I don't know. I can't tell them I'm the spy for the worst barrel boss, or that I've nearly been killed too many times for comfort. But I'll tell them about the Menagerie. And I'll tell them Kaz had given me a life, saved me," she looked at Jesper, "And I'll tell them you gave me friends and something to fight for."

"Inej," Jesper's voice shook, "Stay for a bit. Without fights and heists. Just stay here for a bit. Show your parents around, talk to them, and... stay with us for a bit longer."

She nodded. She needed crew and information anyway.

"And," Wylan added, "When you come to Ketterdam now and then, a room's always available here. Unless you prefer the Slat."

"Oh, saints, no," Inej laughed, and they laughed together until finally Inej bid them good night and exited into the night sky, scaled the roofs she knew so well and pulled herself through Kaz's open window on the Slat.

"Hello, Inej," the familiar voice rasped, and she felt hope tug at her heartstrings again. She forced herself to shovel it down.

"How did you pay off my debt with Per Haskell?" Inej asked.

"With money."

"Where'd the money come from?"

"It doesn't matter."

Inej rolled her eyes and eased herself into Kaz's windowsill like she'd done countless times before. "What's next in your grand scheme of destruction?"

"Getting details of slavers for you to hunt. Finding conmen. Buying the Emerald Palace."

"What about for you, Kaz?" she knew she was treading on ice-thin territory, "Was this what Jordie would've wanted for you?"

Inej saw the gears turning in his crooked mind, "I can't be anyone except Kaz Brekker. I'm not like you, Inej. I can't see the good in life, I can't believe in Saints, and I can't put my resources into a good cause."

"Why not?" Inej asked tentatively. He was sitting at his desk, refusing to even look at her.

"Because everything I believed to be good has withered away," Kaz said shortly, "You should go, Inej."

"Do you want me to go?"

"I don't know," Kaz said and took a deep breath, "I can't be anyone who you want me to be, Inej."

"I don't want you to be anyone. I want you to be Kaz." she said softly. She knew it was true. "When you changed my bandages, Kaz, I saw you. You without your armour. You were willing to try. What's to say we can't try again?"

"Why would you want me?" Kaz rasped, "You deserve better than whatever monster I am."

"I can decide who I deserve," Inej said, "And you're not a monster. If the real monsters like Van Eck and Per Haskell can have a happy life, why can't you?"

Kaz had no good reply and Inej took silent, swift steps to Kaz's side and laid a hand on his shoulder. He took in a shuddering breath. "Inej," he whispered, "Inej, Inej."

He took a gloved hand and placed it atop her own hand, and she felt more hope and squashed it down. She whispered, "It's just me, Kaz. I- I thought you didn't want to be healed. You refused to see your wounds, and how do you heal wounds you can't see? But then, you put your hand in mine without gloves. You want to heal. Let me help you."

Kaz's eyes shut, and his face was screwed tight. He seemed to be waging his own wars and finally said, "I was thought to be dead. Taken to the Reaper's Barge and I woke up surrounded by corpses. I used Jordie's corpse as a float to kick myself to Ketterdam. Every time I touch skin, it reminds me of that horrible day. It repulses me."

Inej stayed quiet, finally knowing what kept Kaz so guarded and frightened. "You don't want my pity."

"No," he said immediately, "I want you to know that if – if we did try, it's not you that repulses me. It could never be you."

"Okay," Inej said, "Okay."

He removed his hand from hers and took off his gloves. She saw the effort it took for him to place it back on her hand at his shoulder. Skin brushed skin. Kaz took a breath but didn't break contact. Inej smiled.

"Okay," she whispered and through Kaz's window, they saw the twinkle of Ketterdam, hands touching and not moving away from each other.

After many blissful moments, Kaz said, "I used my money to pay off your indenture. The Wraith shouldn't belong to anyone, and she never will. You'll always be free, Inej. And if someone traps you ever again, I'm stringing their guts to form my washing line."

Inej thought for a moment. "You don't have a washing line."

She heard something close to a snort and she whispered, "Thank you. So much."

"Hunt those slavers, bring them to their knees and make them beg for your mercy as you pluck their organs out one by one."

Inej said, "Kaz, shut up. I'm trying to enjoy this moment. Not think about blood and knives."

She was one of the only people who could tell Kaz to shut up and she knew it. He listened as well, and stopped talking, leaving them in a quiet that promised many more moments without organs and stringing guts together. 

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A/N Please comment, vote, share and suggest ideas to write!

Love, IC x