A/N In the end of Crooked Kindom, Kaz agrees to meet Inej's parents. How exactly does that play out?

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Kaz Brekker

Inej was running off to greet her Ma and Pa and she had asked Kaz to come meet them. Stupidly, he had agreed, so here they were, greeting Mr. and Mrs Ghafa from the boat and Kaz watched as Inej hugged them so tightly he was surprised they weren't losing breath.

He didn't know why he had used the favour Sturmhond owed him to ask aid for searching for Inej's parents, but he didn't dwell on it, and he definitely didn't regret it. Not after the smile she had flashed him.

He stood awkwardly, fidgeting and flexing his fingers on the head of the crow on his cane as the Sulis took him in. And then they muttered something to Inej in Suli and though her skin was dark, Kaz knew she was embarrassed. The Wraith was embarrassed. She shushed them and the Suli asked, "And who are you?"

They didn't know who he was, they didn't know how he'd corrupted their daughter who believed in the goodness of life so much, they didn't know the lives he'd taken, his brutality, and they didn't know he was the Bastard of the Barrels. All they saw was a man standing next to their daughter and he relaxed his posture, realising he was getting ready to fight if any threat came to ruin this moment for Inej.

"I'm Kaz Brekker," he said and paused. They were expecting him to say what he was to Inej, he realised, and was unfamiliar with how his heart dropped. What was he to her except a criminal partner, a boss, and someone who'd bought her indenture?

"He helped me," Inej said quickly, with the barest of glances in his direction, "I was lost in this city, and when I was helpless and powerless, he helped me find a purpose."

And that's all her parents seemed to care about, and they reached for his hands in thanks. Inej saw the movement and was about to hesitate, find distraction, hug them again so Kaz wouldn't have to touch them, but he could do this for her. And he'd slipped his gloves on anyway. He knew what was coming so forced himself to be still, cut off whatever Inej was planning with a glance at her, and as Inej's mother held his hand, he forced himself to smile.

"Thank you," she said and Kaz felt, for the first time, guilt. Maybe he did help her from the Menagerie, but he only helped her into a different contract for his own benefit.

He didn't know what to say, and he couldn't tell them he didn't deserve a single grain of their gratitude after everything he'd put their daughter through. He ended up saying, "She is worth helping."

He didn't miss the surprised look that passed Inej's features, but he didn't look at her. Not at her caramel skin, her billowing black hair, her soft eyes. He couldn't. He made her feel too many emotions at once, and she was his weakness. He breathed. Inej's mother let go of him and she looked weary. Inej noticed.

"Let's get you inside," Inej said.

"What happened to you?" her father asked and Inej's face grew still.

"Later," she said, "You need to rest."

She looked at Kaz and he said, "Wylan's house. I told Jesper we'd have visitors."

And Kaz stayed a few steps ahead as the Suli family walked behind him and even if one of the Barrel rats spared a second glance at the Ghafa family, one look at Kaz's sharp eyes sent them scurrying.

After Jordie's death, nothing seemed worth saving, or helping or hoping for, but seeing Inej's happiness and freedom, Kaz felt that maybe there was still some things worth saving. For example, Inej's new dream and purpose, or Jesper and Wylan's happiness. This was a sweet thought, one just beyond grasp and one Kaz pushed down. There would still be enemies and wars, and now wasn't the time to dwell on the philosophies of the world.

They reached the Van Eck mansion and knocked. Jesper greeted them and his eyes widened at the sight before him.

"Inej, are they...?" he trailed off.

Inej simply nodded and Jesper swept her into a huge hug, and after the bathroom incident, he did see her muscles slightly tense as Jesper threw his hands around her, but she immediately relaxed and hugged him back. They pulled away and Jesper easily said, "Hello, Mr and Mrs, Ghafa. I'm Jesper. Inej's friend."

Why was it so easy for Jesper to say they were friends? Why was it so hard for Kaz to even try to find what he was to Inej? Why was it so hard for him to simply try or talk to her as a friend?

The family headed inside but Kaz remained outside, feeling extremely out of place in a Merchant's mansion, surrounded by happiness. Not the happiness of adrenaline or relief of surviving. But happiness of family, of a warmth he'd long since lost.

"Kaz," Jesper said, "Come in. We have waffles and eggs. Good whiskey. Wy's put a lot of his money into buying decent alcohol that wasn't half water."

"He's got the money," Kaz murmured.

"Seriously, Kaz," Jesper said, hands lingering as if he wanted to lay it on Kaz's shoulder. Kaz wished he could. Kaz wished slowly, starting with Inej and Jesper, he could get used to basic human affection. But was he even human? "Come in for dinner."

No was the first thing that came to mind. But he said, "Maybe another day."

Jesper didn't push; he simply said "Okay," and was about to shut the door.

"Jes," Kaz said, and he didn't know what the Wraith had unlocked in him with her dreams, with her promise of returning to Ketterdam, with her happiness of finding family, but maybe, just maybe, deep inside of Kaz, there was still a young Rietveld that could be rescued. If he tried. If he let others try.

"Yeah?"

"I didn't mean half of what I said at the clocktower," Kaz rasped, "Yeah, you were a podge with the money, and with your mouth to Rollin's men, but you're not a disappointment. Not to your father, not to Wylan, not to the Crows." Or to me.

"Oh," Jesper seemed very surprised, "Thank you. I... I'm going to try to be better. Wylan's said he's not going to give me stacks of kruge, and he said he's going to help with the impulses. And I'm going to try for him, for my father, and for myself."

"Good," Kaz said, and a little smile curled his lips, "You did good giving the four million kruge to Colm. And you're doing good saving what little respect the Van Eck fortune has."

"Thank Wylan for that," Jesper said with a smile that made Kaz's heart drop more. What the hell was wrong with him?

That smile of Jesper's. That smile as if even saying Wylan's name brought never-ending joy to him, the joy he'd only seen before when the Zemeni had played cards or slung his revolvers. That smile itched something withing Kaz. Not within Kaz Brekker. Within Kaz Rietveld. Maybe one day his armour would fall away, and he could think of a name and smile like that. He already had a name in mind.

Inej, Inej, Inej.

He closed his eyes and turned away towards the Slat. 

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A/N Hope you enjoyed! Please comment, vote and share and suggest any more ideas you want me to write!

Love, IC x