A/N Wylan voices an insecurity out to Jesper, who tries to show him it's nothing to worry about by planning a date. But he doesn't know how one plans a date, and turns to Nina and Inej for relationship advice and figures something out. In the process of his grand schemes, their first 'I love you' is spoken.

***

Jesper Fahey

Quite surprisingly, Nina Zenik and Inej Ghafa were both in Ketterdam at the same time for the first time after the auction and Jesper was very pleased with the timing. He needed help and Kaz Brekker was not the one to ask advice for on this particular front.

Inej and Nina had come around to the Van Eck mansion for breakfast and then Wylan had gone to spend some time with his mother, so Jesper asked, "Can we take a walk?"

Naturally, they agreed and as they strolled away from the richer parts and into the start of the Barrel, Jesper led them to a café and slumped down, slightly defeated.

"Is everything okay, Jesper?" Inej asked.

"I... How does one plan a date?"

Inej raised an eyebrow and Nina all but snorted.

"I love the fact," Nina started, "You're the one with a boyfriend and us two have had terrible love lives and yet you're the one asking for advice."

"Well," Jesper tried to explain, "My talent has been getting whoever I want, no strings attached. With Wylan, there are so many strings attached. And I don't know... I feel like I'm a crap boyfriend because I've never been in a relationship before."

"Aw, Jes," Jesper couldn't work out if Inej was teasing him as she laid a hand on his shoulder.

"I'm sure Wylan tells and shows you how wonderful a boyfriend you are," Nina winked.

"We're not here to talk about that," Jesper said, covering his face. He was Jesper Fahey. He did not get embarrassed by these conversations.

"Seriously, Jes," Inej asked, "What brought this on?"

Jesper sighed.

Two Days Ago

Jesper and Wylan were in bed and Jesper was reading to his boyfriend, Wylan curled into his side. Jesper finished reading and had said, "Good night, Wy. Sweet dreams."

And Wylan had said, out of the blue, "You can leave if you want."

Jesper had been astounded and had all but screeched, "What?!"

"I know you don't do this. This thing where you have a set life. You like to be free. You like to take risks and chances. But you're here. You sort documents all morning, and then you end up here. I- You used to be someone who could get whoever you want. And you still are. When we walk to merchant meetings, it's insane how many people literally undress you with their eyes. And before..." He'd gestures awkwardly to where their hands lay intertwined, "You could've reciprocated, but now, you're here. I don't want you to feel trapped because of me. We went through a lot since the Ice Court, but that doesn't mean you owe me to stay with me or help me. Now that everything's calmed down, I won't be offended if you decide to leave and have fun."

Jesper had been so confused that all he'd managed was, "Don't be stupid, merchling. I like my life now. Mainly because you're in it."

And then, even though much was left unsaid, they'd dozed off. Jesper had woken earlier the next morning to Wylan murmuring something along the lines of "too good for me" in a state of half sleep. Jesper had woken Wylan up, kissed him and then looked at him, grey eyes blazing.

"Wy, what brought everything on last night?"

"Jes, you're the best thing that's ever happened to me. And when anything good happens to me, it always leaves."

And Jesper had held on tight and had promised to stay for as long as Wylan wanted him. And he was very much interested in keeping that promise.

It was only when Jesper had fully woken up that he'd realised the full meanings of everything Wylan had said. You end up here, you could've reciprocated, trapped because of me, if you decide to leave and have fun.

"Saints," Jesper had sworn then. How the hell does Wylan think he's trapping Jesper, that he's not having fun? And then it hit him. Wylan probably thought Jesper had more fun with hookups, and that it was better to not have so much care for someone.

And for Saint's sake, Jesper did think that, but that was before Wylan had come along and had been with Jesper through training his Grisha powers, through everything with his father, and Saints, the merchling had calmed him down, told him to stop, take a breath, and had kissed him.

So now that's why he was here now, with Inej and Nina staring at him blankly and then laughing.

Present

"It's not funny," Jesper protested weakly.

"What's funny is that you've been pondering a date for two days because you don't want the person you've been living with for three months to think it's a hook-up," Nina chuckled.

"Maybe I should've endured Kaz's advice," Jesper muttered.

"Really, Fahey?" Nina asked.

"To be clear," Inej started and Jesper rolled his eyes, "Wylan thinks you want to leave him because he thinks you don't want to commit, and you think it's because you haven't taken him on a date?"

"Yes, but no," Jesper said, "I get my reputation is not... great in that aspect, and I didn't think Wylan would care so much about it. It's not like I've even spoken to another person for longer than ten minutes. But I need Wylan to know that he's not like anyone else. And I don't know how the hell to show him that."

"You could just talk to him," Nina suggested.

"I'm Jesper Fahey. I need to do this in style."

"You're insufferable," Nina and Inej said at the same time.

"You two are really helpful," Jesper sighed.

"Jes, just buy him waffles or something," Inej said.

"We do that every day anyway," Jesper said, "I want to do something special. Just... I need him to know that I want him for who he is, and not for hooking up. And that he means so much more to me than a hook-up."

Jesper expected laughter or more mockery, but instead, Inej hugged him. Warily, he hugged her back.

"Take him away from Ketterdam for a while," Nina suggested, "Go somewhere where it's quiet. Have some alcohol, talk, and tell him everything you've told us."

"He won't leave the stupid documents alone for a day," Jesper groaned, "The piles literally never end."

"Just for an evening then," Inej said, "Cook for him, take a walk, stargaze and then talk."

"That's so simple."

"Jes, you want him to know he's special. How many people have you taken to theatres, how many have you taken to stupid restaurants or pubs so that you could be drunk enough to hook up?" Inej asked knowingly.

Jesper avoided her gaze. "Too many."

"How many people have you cooked for?" Nina then asked.

"None," Jesper's voice was a whisper.

Nina pushed, "How many people have you spent the night with lying beneath stars? Not drunk, not desperate to get into bed? Just enjoying someone's presence?"

Jesper's mind worked and very belatedly, he realised they were both correct. He nodded. "Thanks. And not a word of this conversation is repeated. I'll put a bullet through both of you if you do."

"Yeah, yeah," Nina rolled her eyes, "Go get your man."

Three Days Later

"Wy," Jesper gazed up from where he was reading a document, "Can we take a break?"

"Two more files," Wylan suggested. Ever since that dreaded conversation, Wylan had been hesitant about everything, and he seemed to shrink in on himself. It was as if saying his worries out loud had amplified them.

Jesper took Wylan's hands in his and kissed his knuckles, "Of course. And then... can I make you dinner? And we could take a walk together?"

Wylan's lips quirked up, "Yeah?"

"Yeah," Jesper smiled, "If you trust my cooking skills."

Wylan kissed him swiftly and they finished the rest of the two files. Jesper headed into the kitchen, finding it oddly empty. He'd sent all the cooks home. He started cooking and through the walls, he heard Wylan playing piano in the next room and talking to Marya. He smiled. How stupid was the merchling to think Jesper would want any other life?

When Jesper had finished cooking, he decided to set up a candlelight dinner in the balcony. He had never done so before, but the day before, when Wylan was making a bomb for Kaz, he'd asked Marya if it was okay that they didn't have dinner together one night and had explained he'd wanted to do something special for Wylan, leaving out his and Wylan's conversation from four night ago.

Marya had agreed and had even helped Jesper find the perfect recipe and had taught him the proper way of setting a table. Jesper had been so grateful and the next day, he'd bought Marya her favourite flowers and some pastry as a gift. Wylan had been surprised. They always bough Marya flowers for her room, but it was every week, and they always did it together. Jesper had brushed over the question of why he'd done so.

Now, he balanced a bowl of pasta and some wine for Marya and handed it to her in the music room. She gave a knowing smile that Jesper returned. He turned to Wylan. "Come with me?"

Wylan seemed surprised but held onto Jesper's outstretched arms and Jesper pulled them up the stairs, practically running from excitement and nerves. And all of it was worth it for the way Wylan's jaw dropped when he saw the balcony.

Wylan Van Eck

One of the tables in the balcony was covered with a red-gold satin sheet, and atop the table was two steaming plates of food, accompanied by some wine and at the centre of the table was a candle. And the whole balcony twinkled with small lights that Jesper had hung up. The balcony glowed.

"Jes... What-" Wylan took a breath, "This is gorgeous. Did you do all of this?"

"Yeah," Jesper said, "Unless you have another handsome Zemeni boy living in your house?"

"Jes," Wylan smacked his arm playfully.

"Come on," Jesper urged him to sit down, and they sat across from each other. Jesper gave him a smile. But it wasn't the flirty smile, or even the teasing one. It was so real and filled with full, unbridled happiness.

"Thank you, Jes," Wylan said.

"Of course," Jesper winked, "Anything for my merchling and demolitions expert."

They ate their meal, teasing each other and bantering like usual, and the recent thoughts of Jesper leaving him for someone better, someone who knew Jesper's way of thrills, someone who could get him as flustered as he did with Wylan...

"Wy," Jesper's soothing voice, "What's up?"

"Nothing," Wylan lied, "I'm just really happy that I have you."

"It's mutual, darling," Jesper said smoothly, "You don't know how much I adore you."

"You could show me," Wylan murmured, face going red. Sometimes, he had it in him to flirt back, to get Jesper to bark out a laugh like the Zemeni did now.

"As much as that sounds lovely," Jesper said, "And I'm definitely up for it later on tonight, we have more things awaiting us this evening."

Jesper stood up and held his hand out again. Wylan intertwined their fingers. "Come on, merchling."

They raced down the mansion and outside and a carriage seemed to be waiting. "Jes- what in Ghezen's name?"

Jesper opened the door and helped Wylan into the carriage and effortlessly seated himself beside Wylan. And the carriage took off. "Jes, where are we going?"

"It's a surprise, merchling."

The carriage roiled on, and Wylan buzzed with anticipation. Finally, it stopped. Jesper stepped out, helped Wylan after him and the carriage backed away.

They were on a hill overlooking Ketterdam, the countryside just outside the city. You could see the bustling city, but the sky was clear, the stars were twinkling, and Ketterdam seemed like an imagined city. Jesper lied down on the grass. He said, "We're going to stargaze."

Wylan couldn't help the smile that spread across his face. He lied down next to Jesper and Jesper linked their fingers. The silence stretched on, unspoked words hanging like a heavy cloud.

"Wy," Jesper said, abruptly sitting up. Wylan sat up and faced his boyfriend. "I'm sorry."

"What are you sorry for?" Wylan asked, confused.

"I've never been in a relationship," Jesper explained, "Done stuff, but never a serious commitment. But with you, I want a relationship. I want the other stuff, I want the relationship, and I want anything and everything that's you. I'm sorry that I haven't made you feel like you're special and that I want to stay with you. I wouldn't trade any of it for anything. I want to be with you. I don't care about hookups or flirting with strangers. The only person I want to kiss, I want to flirt with, I want to see blush is you. Only you, Wylan."

Wylan didn't know what to say. So, he instead threw himself at Jesper, hugging him, knocking him backwards so that Jesper ended up lying on the floor, Wylan on top of him. And both burst out laughing.

"Do you believe me, Wy?" Jesper asked, "I only want you."

And when there was so much love in the grey eyes, when he'd made a meal for Wylan, when he'd brought him stargazing in a goddamn carriage, Wylan couldn't say anything except, "I believe you."

He pressed forwards, kissing Jesper. Jesper only deepened the kiss, wrapping a hand around Wylan's neck and pulling him closer.

And they kissed for minutes or hours, the stars twinkling down at them. When they pulled away, both muttered at the same time their first, "I love you," and then laughed together again, kissed again, and fell back against the grass, lying next to each other, soaking up each other and holding hands tightly. The night ended with them looking at stars and murmuring sweet nothings to each other. 

***

A/N This didn't come out quite as good as I wanted it to, but anyway, here it is. If you liked it, do comment and share your thoughts and leave votes!

Love, IC x