Kirstie's POV

"Okay!!" I exhale as I push the vacuum cleaner back into the closet. I schlep over to the couch and plop myself down. No sooner than my butt hits the cushions do I hear a "Ding!" from the kitchen.

"Ooh cake's done!" I say to myself. On days like today I do a lot of talking to myself. If not myself than my dog/best friend Olaf, who honestly has had enough of my talking for one day. I carefully pull a chocolate cake out of the oven and place it on the cooling rack. I look around my apartment quite pleased with myself. It's a saturday, the very first saturday we've had to return to our normal lives after a crazy european tour for PTX Volume II. We've been home since wednesday, but considering the Welcome Wagon I received upon my arrival home, its taken me these past couple of days to pull myself back together. 

Jeremy Broke up with me. And I was shocked to say the least. If I'm being completely honest with myself though, I had to have seen this coming. 

Not answering my calls. Responding to texts in short, one-word answers, if answering at all. I'm not one to snoop but Ive noticed a lot of photos popping up on Facebook of him out at wild parties with his friends. I don't have a problem with that, but it is slightly out of character for him. Not to mention his attitude towards me while sending me off to the airport a month ago. He acted almost like I had forced him to kiss me goodbye. But I ignored that clear sign. 

Much to my surprise as I wheeled my suitcase in the front door of my apartment, I was met with his suitcases in the living room along with ALL of his things in boxes.

"Oh," he said "I was hoping I'd be finished by the time you were back..." he gave a sad chuckle

"What?" tears already forming in my eyes.

"I'm sorry, that came out wrong," he said.

 We just stared at each other a moment silently discussing what was happening.

"Kirst, I'm not happy," he started. Before I could think about it, I ran into the bathroom locking myself in. Sobbing... I must have cried myself to sleep on the floor. I woke up two hours later to Scott knocking on the bathroom door. He had a key for emergencies.

"Kirstie, are you there?" he said.

"Oh... yea hold on!" I shouted, picking myself up trying to reacquaint myself with reality. 

"Are you alright?" he asked. I must have looked like hell. He looked really worried. "Jeremy just came to our apartment, he said he was moving out and asked me to come check on you," I just stared at him. "Kirst, what happened?" he pleaded. I silently pushed passed him and walked into the living room where everything was gone. Most of the big pieces of furniture was already mine, but his missing  photos, and odds and ends, and knick knacks and HIS absence made it feel like EVERYTHING was gone. I plopped down on the couch to explain to Scott what I was trying to understand myself. I had been broken up with. Jeremy didn't want me anymore, after two and a half years and the promise of ever, ever after... He was unhappy... and he left. 

Today was the first I got up from that couch. I promised myself I was done sulking and being sorry for myself. I'm a new single woman now, clean this place up! Yea, that seemed like a good idea, let's clean. Lets do anything and everything!

The day began with a brisk walk about the park with Olaf. I cleaned the bathroom, I cleaned the Living room, I cleaned the bedroom. I washed every piece of laundry I owned and all the sheets, I cleaned up the kitchen, baked a cake, then cleaned the kitchen again. I ran around my tiny apartment thinking about anything that wasn't Jeremy. This helped me until now, that there's really nothing else to do. Now I've really got to face my demons. 'Get over it Kirst! GET OVER IT!' I thought. 'Its time to be a big girl! Not everything can go your way all the time!' I'm really talking to myself now... 'and what are you worried about, you're so young, and talented, and sexy, you can have anything and anyone you want!' Who was I kidding? 'The ONE person that wanted you doesn't anymore... so are you really that great?' I'm my own worst enemy. Feeling tears beginning in my eyes I pull out my phone and scroll though my contacts. Let's hang out with somebody. I first think to eliminate my bandmates as we've already spent SO MUCH time together I think maybe they need a break for me.... But they are my friends... and after learning of my breakup they did ensure me I could call anytime for anything... I think for a while, OK Scott and Mitch are out for the day, they told me that... Kevin is visiting family in Oregon so not him... Ester is always busy... who am I missing... I know exactly who I'm missing...

OK confession time

I'm not exactly avoiding Avi... I am though trying to avoid the way he makes me feel... It's wrong somehow... I don't know how but it just is... If Kevin is like my older brother, than Avi is like my Brother's hot best friend that Ive had a long long long crush on... I've always thought he thought of me like a little sister... so I suppressed my romantic feelings for him and dated other people. To say we're close is an understatement. We are so comfortable around each other... almost too comfortable to the point where we may be beyond the possibility of anything romantic. I stare at his contact in my phone "BASS_CANNON_DRAGON". He wrote that in... there's a knock at the door.

"Oh good a distraction!" I thought out loud.

"Hey!" said Avi, smiling that smile of his. WOW thats weird...

"Hey you! What's up!" I said a bit too cheery. I'm trying real hard to convince everyone, including myself, that I'm doing GREAT! "Come in!" I stepped aside letting him in, his cologne wafting past me. I could melt...

"I finally finished unpacking and I remembered you gave this to me," He said holding a draw string backpack I let him borrow when we went sight seeing one day.

"Oh thanks!" I said, "I forgot all about this."

"Something smells really good in here," he said looking around.

"That might me lemon Pine Sol" I laughed "I just cleaned the sh*t out of this place!"

"Kinda smells like chocolate though?" 

"Oh that!!" I exclaimed leading him into the kitchen, "I did bake this today!" showing off a pretty chocolate bunt cake.

"Look at you Kirst! All domestic and what not" he teased

"Shut up!" I laughed, "wanna... take her for a test run with me?" I asked hovering a knife over the cake.

One hour and one whole cake later, we're lounging on the couch watching Clueless. F*cking love this move and I can't believe he's watching it with me. Im laying across the couch with my legs on his lap. He's gently messaging my ankles. Avi is so nurturing in that way. When the movie ends I stretch to lift the empty cake pan off the coffee table, "I blame you for this." I say.

"I'll have to pay you back" he hums,

"Buy me a pizza?" 

"Deal!" he pulls out his phone. I get up and put our dishes away. When I come back he already ordered a large pepperoni pizza, he knows me so well. I sigh plopping back down on the couch staring at the ceiling.

"How ya doing Kirst?" He asks gently, "Whats on your mind?"

"I want to go camping!" I say perking up in my seat. "No, no! I want to go white water rafting! ya know what? I want to do everything! I want to take some pottery classes and learn something new! And I want to go out more and be young and wild and drink and dance and have fun like I'm supposed to be dammit!" He just looked at me, "I am 23, I've got a bangin' career doing what I love, I get to travel the world and perform and make money, I should be out having fun every chance I get! I mean, what was I even doing settling down with some dude like really? What was I thinking being caught up on some guy who stuck around for almost three years? Did I really think he loved me? Of course he didn't how could I be so stupid, I'm unlovable and I know it! Why was I really so surprised when left, I mean of course he was unhappy, I could never be enough for anyone to be happy with me. I'M not even happy with me!"

Before I could realize it I was staring at his chest. He had quickly moved over to me on the couch and scooped me into his arms, gently rubbing my head. I was crying. Sobbing actually. How long had I been crying? I hadn't even realized I started...

"Kirstie, just relax okay?" he hummed "You're all worked up, you're shaking. Just breathe sweetheart!" I couldn't catch my breath yet. His deep voice vibrated through his chest which helped to soothe me. I suddenly realized where I was and felt very embarrassed. How could I loose my head like that? I sat back, breaking out of his grip. I tried to avoid looking him in the eye, I was so ashamed .

"Kirstie..." he sighed. I silently stood up and walked to bathroom to clean up my face. after a few moments he appeared in the doorway.

"I'm sorry Avi," I choked out. "I just lost my cool there for a minute."

"Don't apologize," he started "and don't talk about yourself like that either." He took a step closer to rub my back, I tried to look away from him. "Kirstin Taylor... You are the craziest, most talented and beautiful woman I know... I mean it. That idiot you were dating made a huge mistake in not appreciating every day he got to call you his. He didn't deserve you anyway. You deserve a man that sees how much of a gift you are." he said pushing a piece of hair behind my ear. I couldn't help but smile. "There she is..." he whispered noticing my smirk, making me giggle.

"Thanks Avi" i say

"You're not unlovable Kirstie" he paused, "I love you, Kirstie"

"Avi, you don't  have to say that okay?" I say. I look at him through the reflection of the bathroom mirror. He wears a serious expression.

"Kirstie." He says turning me towards him by the shoulders. Im forced to look at him now. "I love you"

What? He's holding my face in his hands. I remember thinking of how I wished he would kiss me. I don't remember saying it out loud, but I must have because he was suddenly very close to my face and we connected at the lips.

What? 

What was going on? Am I really kissing him. I melt at his touch as his arms snake around my waist. I'm dreaming now, I know I am. He deepens the kiss, and our tongues dance around. He is so gentle with me in every way. I still can't believe what is going on but I know that kissing this man has given me the best feeling I've had in a while!!

There's a knock at the door "PIZZA!" a voice says. sh*t...

I pull away "Just a minute!" He shouts. We touch foreheads just breathing each other in. "I'll explain this... erm" he says turning red in the cheeks "Let's uh.. lets go get that pizza I owe you" he winks.

A/N: Thanks a million for reading!!! Please give feedback I think i will follow through with a part two to this!