⑬It Never Was
Jimin hummed softly as he spread his limbs, chest arching in a delightful stretch. He rubbed his bleary face and pushed himself off the bed. He glanced at Taehyung’s bed from habit as he headed towards the door, but he halted on stiff legs, his eyes enlarging so much they felt as if they would burst out.
The sleepiness from his face was replaced by extreme shock in an instant as he gaped at Taehyung, who was sleeping with his back turned to him and with a man’s limbs loosely wrapped around his frame.
He snapped his head behind him to verify that Jay’s bed was empty, and his jaw popped open around a hushed gasp. With the sinking of the realization, he slapped his palm over his mouth as another appalled sound erupted from him, gaze glued to the unbelievable sight.
“What’s wrong?”
Jimin jumped in his spot at Hoseok’s hoarse voice. He regarded the prominent confusion on his sleepy face through his bulging eyes. “Look, look,” he whisper-yelled as he tugged at his arm to heave him off his bed.
Hoseok heeded to his wish with a groan and followed his gaze. A similar expression of bewildered shock swept across his face at the examination of the sight, and his mouth opened and closed without words coming out.
“Why the hell is Jay in his bed?” Jimin asked in a restless, high-pitched murmur.
“I... I have no idea. What the fuck?”
The constant whispers seeped into Jungkook’s senses until they jarred them completely awake. He yawned with a face buried in Taehyung’s chest, but the comprehension that he wasn’t wearing his mask brisked his heartbeat with a searing anxiety. He hastened to take his mask out of his pocket and put it on, thankful for Taehyung’s chest that gave him protection.
“Since when is there a thing between them?” Jimin, oblivious to Jungkook’s conscious state, asked.
“I don’t know. I’m so confused.”
“Should we wake them? I want to know everything, like, right now.”
“No,” Hoseok dissented at once. “Leave them alone. Let’s go wash up.”
Jimin made a moue of sheer discontent, then rolled his eyes. “Ugh, fine.”
They took their toothbrushes and towels and stared at the two for a bit longer before Hoseok ushered him out of the room.
A subdued sigh rolled off Jungkook at the click of the door closing. “Taehyung.” He smoothed his hand up and down his side in slow caresses in his attempt to wake him. “Taehyung.” He gave him two gentle shakes at his unresponsiveness. “Wake up.”
Taehyung’s chest vibrated with a sweet hum as he clutched him tighter, then he blindly leaned to kiss him. The clothing his lips touched had him grimacing, and he cracked an eye open to inspect. “Why are you—” He jolted away and darted his head to Hoseok’s bed, alarm flaring inside him.
“They went to wash up,” Jungkook said and pulled him into his embrace again. “They already saw us. Jimin seemed too curious to know what’s going on.”
“Shit, sorry.”
“Why are you sorry?” he scoffed as he raked his hand through his knotty hair. “I told you I wanted to sleep with you.”
“I know, but now... they saw us.” There was a saddened sheen overlying his reddened eyes, despite Jungkook’s mollifying words. “What should I tell them?”
“Whatever you want. Talk freely to them about this. I already talked to my hyungs, anyway.”
A glimmer of a timid smile shone over Taehyung’s face as he trailed the muscles along his back with a tender palm. “Thanks.”
“Why?”
“Because I don’t like hiding things from them. Of course I won’t tell them your name,” he hastened to add, a tide of uneasiness cresting and then dropping away just as fast. “Or anything you tell me about your life. If you tell me. I meant it’s hard to hide this from them since we’re staying in the same room.”
Jungkook’s eyes crinkled at the corners with the smile that bloomed on his face. “I know. You’re right.” He pulled his mask down and planted a peck on his lips.
Taehyung hummed in bliss and kissed him again with the same tenderness. “This is nice.”
“Yeah, but I have to get off your bed now.”
Taehyung’s hold around him tightened with the whine that buzzed in his throat, his face wringing in a pout. “No.”
Jungkook chuckled and drew a fond kiss on his forehead. “Talk to your friends first. They won’t leave us alone if you don’t tell them about this.”
“Hmm, you’re right,” he sighed. “I’ll go wash up.”
“Me too.” Jungkook gave him one last peck, then slipped his mask back on. He climbed down from the bed and shared a delicate gaze with Taehyung before he left the room.
Taehyung descended the ladder with small whimpers as the aching in his ass was worse than yesterday. Even if having sex with Jungkook every night came with that price, though, he didn’t care one bit.
After grabbing the necessary things to head to the bathroom, he sauntered along the hallway and soon pushed the door open. His gaze passed over the two strangers on the left side, and he trod in the opposite direction. He located his two friends in front of the sinks and silently joined them.
Jimin finished washing his face and wiped it with his towel. He took in Taehyung’s unexpected presence, and a glint of eagerness shimmered in his eyes. “Yah, what the—”
“Not in here,” Taehyung murmured.
Jimin respected his wish, since he knew they weren’t alone. He waited restlessly for Taehyung to finish his morning routine, tapping his foot against the floor. “Nice hickeys,” he crooned with a sneering lift of his brows as his eyes surveyed the rowdy, purplish marks that washed over the right side of his neck.
Taehyung settled for a stony look, with traces of embarrassment and guilt-ridden sullenness around the edges, since he couldn’t share with them earlier everything that happened with Jungkook.
He also used the bathroom soon, and he was ready to return to their room. “Let’s go.”
Jimin hooked his arm around Taehyung’s elbow, holding his things in his other hand. He smiled sweetly at him — a smile that only foreshadowed the painstaking interrogation Taehyung was about to receive.
Taehyung tossed his head in Hoseok’s direction, pleading eyes screaming, “Save me.” But he knew there wasn’t a ray of salvation with a curious Jimin beside him.
Their door room came into sight, but Taehyung was suddenly yanked into the kitchen. “Why are we here?”
“Because I don’t want Jay to be in the room while we talk about him.” Jimin instructed him to sit at the table and dragged his chair closer to him before taking his seat as well.
“Alright,” Taehyung uttered as he lowered his head. He filled his lungs with a fortifying breath and released the air in a broken wave. “I’m sure what you saw was a shock to you...”
“Obviously,” Jimin snickered. “What the hell is going on? And most importantly, why don’t I know anything about it?”
“Look, um... I’m sorry for keeping it a secret. You know I hate having secrets from you guys. But Jay is friends with Yoongi, Namjoon, and Seokjin. I was afraid you might say something to Yoongi accidentally.”
Jimin’s brows creased in puzzlement at the new information. “He’s friends with Yoongi? How?”
“I don’t know that either. At first, Jay didn’t want anyone to know. But now he talked to his hyungs, and I can finally talk to you guys about it.”
“Okay, okay, let’s take it from the beginning, hmm?” Jimin leaned on the table with his forearms, penetrating eyes anchored on him. “How did this thing start?”
“We... We talked sometimes when you guys were sleeping. And the more I talked to him, the more I wanted to know him. I told him I want to touch him and feel him close even with his mask on. I asked if he thinks I’m crazy. And he said yes, but he’s so much more. Then he took me to the storage room and we... sucked each other off.”
Jimin’s eyes swelled at the rapid turn of events. He noticed through his shock that Hoseok didn’t project even an ounce of similar surprise and frowned. “You already know about this.”
Hoseok’s lips formed a tight-lipped smile with awkwardness tracing it. “Yeah. I also know he saw his face, but that’s it. I don’t know anything else.”
“You saw his face?” Jimin asked, a new flash of shock blazing in his gaze. “How is he? Pretty?”
Taehyung smiled softly to himself, fondness flooding his downcast eyes. “He’s... the most gorgeous man I’ve ever seen.”
“Fuck, I want to see his face so bad now,” Jimin grumbled with a defeated sigh since he knew he couldn’t. “How did that happen, though?”
“Remember the day he wasn’t in the room since morning? I went to look for him and I found him in the private bathroom. He wasn’t wearing his mask. That’s when I realized he was friends with the others.”
“Okay, now tell us the rest because I want to know what happened next too,” Hoseok said with a dose of impatience. “Did you tell him the truth?”
“About what?” Jimin asked.
“I said I wanted to find a guy to fuck me, remember?” Taehyung saw him nod instantly. “I did it on purpose, just for Jay to hear. I wanted more. I wanted him to fuck me. But he had said no and that we couldn’t. So I told him I found a guy to see his reaction, and he got so mad. Later at night, I told him the truth. I begged him to stop holding himself back from wanting me. And he told me if I wanted a good fuck, he would be in the private bathroom.”
“Damn, that’s hot,” Hoseok chuckled. “And?”
“I went there. And we fucked so good.”
Jimin individuated the muted spark of sadness in his gaze as he spoke for a while now and felt it clutch his chest. “It’s not just a fuck for you, though. Right?”
Taehyung raised his eyes to him, and the said sadness in them flared so much it stung them with a searing wetness. “It never was and never will be.” There was an aching drawl in his words that spawned from the hot constriction at the back of his throat. “I’m in love with him. I told him it’s okay even if he doesn’t fall for me. I’ll still want him. But now...” He swallowed hard and scrubbed away the first tears that slid down his cheeks. “Knowing he doesn’t feel the same hurts so much. Too much.”
Jimin exhaled shakily as he rubbed placating circles on his back. “Has he opened up to you? About why he’s hiding his face and stuff?”
“No.”
“Why did he change his mind about having sex with you, though?” Hoseok asked.
Taehyung drew in a breath and wiped his wet eyes with his shirt. “He said I had already seen his face, so having a little fun wouldn’t hurt.”
“Ugh, what an ass,” Jimin hissed.
“He’s not,” Taehyung whispered with slow shakes of his head. “I told him it’s okay. I told him I’ll take just that because I want him that much.”
Hoseok caressed his shoulder, smiling sadly. “Do you regret it?”
He didn’t have to think about it. The answer was right at the tip of his tongue, but it still came out with difficulty. “No. I know he’ll break my heart. At first I thought he’ll fall for me like I did. That he’ll try for us to be something. That he’ll feel sad at the thought of me leaving. But he talks about me leaving as if it’s nothing. Now I’m sure he won’t return my feelings. And I still can’t stay away.”
“Tae,” Hoseok said in a breathy murmur. “He’s obviously going through something. I think we all know he’s hiding from someone. Who would have room for love in their life in a situation like this? You started something that was fated to end. We won’t be here forever. So enjoy the last two days with him. And don’t think about anything else.”
“He’s right. Even if he had fallen for you, he wouldn’t be able to come with you, Tae. So have fun for as long as it lasts. And I’ll do the same with Yoongi.”
Although Taehyung sensed a spate of sobs build within his chest, he choked them back and nodded instead. “Okay.”
Jungkook’s hazy gaze remained locked on the floor as a newfound, stomach-flipping agony rocked through his insides. He retreated with heavy steps at the silence that engulfed the three friends and slouched towards the storage room.
He stepped inside and locked the door, then sank down to the floor with his back gliding against it. He propped his elbows on his bent knees and gripped his hair. His eyes screwed shut and his mind got more and more clouded with everything Taehyung said.
Knowing how much it hurt Taehyung to pretend he didn’t feel the same pained him the most. But nothing would change if he confessed his outrageous feelings. Taehyung would still have to leave, and Jungkook would still be unable to go with him. Maybe it would be easier for Taehyung to forget whatever happened between them if he thought he hadn’t fallen for him too.
They were doomed to suffer from their separation either way. He just hoped Taehyung’s friends would give him abundant comfort and take care of him, since he couldn’t do it himself.
. . .
Jungkook’s absence from the room baffled Taehyung, though the plans he made with his friends kept him occupied enough not to dwell on it.
They finally went for climbing all together, even if Taehyung still wasn’t in a perfect condition for it. He didn’t want to miss out on anything since these were the last days of their vacation. They ate delicious food afterwards and dessert, and they went to the beach. They spent a couple of hours sunbathing while drinking cocktails and swam for a bit later.
It was early in the afternoon when they decided to head back to the hostel after their full day. Jimin had a date with Yoongi, so he wanted to have enough time to get ready, and Taehyung couldn’t wait to see Jungkook again, to be honest.
“Chim. You really won’t confess your feelings before leaving?” Taehyung asked as they traipsed along the sidewalk near their hostel.
“I don’t know,” he muttered. “What difference does it make? It’s not like he’ll ditch everything to come with me.”
“Well, you don’t know that,” Hoseok argued. “Maybe he will.”
“Why don’t we just stay for a bit longer?” Taehyung proposed hesitantly.
“No way. My father will kill me,” Jimin said.
“Yeah, same. We have jobs to get back to, Tae. Otherwise we would stay more.”
Taehyung’s head hung as a hushed exhalation emitted from his mouth. He forced the maddening thoughts out of his mind and reached out to open the door to the hostel, but it swung open before he could do anything, causing him to jolt. “Oh.”
The three friends gazed at the two policemen and stepped aside after a moment’s stillness.
“Sorry for startling you,” the black-haired officer said with a smile, and they plodded down the single step to resume their way.
“Actually,” the other officer, the shorter one, said as he halted and then turned to face them. “Can we ask a few things?”
The three exchanged a quick glance as confusion meandered around their expression. “Yes,” Hoseok said.
“How long have you been staying here?”
“Twelve days.”
He glanced at his partner, and the black-haired officer nodded, as if approving something. The latter fished his phone out of his pocket and tapped a few things. “Have you seen this man before?”
They tilted closer to the screen and analyzed the handsome man in the picture. But Taehyung didn’t have to analyze it; just a simple glimpse stirred a maelstrom of consternation within him that made his heart thrash against his ribcage. That crippling emotion grasped his spine and coiled around his limbs, stiffening them impossibly, as he repeated the name that was written above the picture.
Jeon Jungkook.
“No,” Jimin said. “Can I ask why you’re looking for him?”
“What about you two?” the black-haired officer asked as he aimed the phone at them.
“Me neither.”
“Me neither,” Taehyung breathed out, truly striving to dissemble any grain of his seismic mystification.
“Okay. Thank you.” He locked the phone and put it back in his pocket. “He’s wanted for murder. If you see him, call the police right away.” They bowed their heads and strolled off.
The far too vile words stabbed Taehyung’s stomach over and over, oppressing his existence and torturing his heart. A sickening numbness crazed his skin that flooded his head with a barrage of dolorous thoughts and questions. He said he wasn’t a murderer. He said... he wasn’t. He said...
Suddenly, he couldn’t pull enough oxygen into his lungs. The simple act of breathing started to feel like a struggle as a suffocating strap of anguish girdled his form so achingly it dazed him. The world rushed around him in a whirl of sounds and blurred passersby as he stood there frozen solid with the palsy of ravaging shock clenching his muscles.
Jimin examined his heaving chest and the deep creases adorning his traits through agitated eyes. He set a delicate hand on his shoulder as he dipped his head in his effort to meet his gaze. “Tae? Are you okay? What’s wrong?”
His voice sounded so distant in his ears, as if he were meters away. The gentle squeeze on his shoulder was what shook him out of his agonizing stupefaction, and he gulped, collecting what little was left of his composure. “I’m fine. It’s just awful to think a murderer is on the run.”
“I know, right?” Hoseok sighed, shaking his head. “The world we live in is so dangerous.”
The two entered the building, and Taehyung compelled his legs to move and follow them. That gruesome churning of emotions thickened in his throat at the thought of facing Jungkook, creating a knot that foreboded tears he endeavored to repress.
“Hey,” Jimin uttered as he approached Yoongi, who was sitting at the reception.
There was a tightness in Yoongi’s body, which he attempted to conceal, as the police’s unexpected visit alarmed him to an extent he could barely handle. He wore a smile at the sight of Jimin despite his turmoil. “Hey.”
“Why did the police come here to look for that murderer?” Hoseok asked.
A new tension hardened the muscles of Yoongi’s face as his round eyes flitted all around them. “You—You guys talked to them?”
“Yeah, we ran into them on their way out and they showed us a picture,” Jimin informed.
Yoongi’s view zoned in on Taehyung. He contemplated the harrowing emptiness his eyes reflected, and he instantly realized. Taehyung knew. He threw his head down, not wanting the others to suspect anything. “They’re searching the whole area as a formality, they said. Don’t worry about it.”
“Okay. I’ll be here in an hour for our date,” Jimin said with his signature askew smile that hid a torrent of insinuations behind it.
“Can’t wait.” Yoongi played along as always, loving the said insinuations and ready to unravel each one of them.
They continued their way to their room using the elevator. The two discerned Taehyung’s mute and rather grim state, though they excused it as they thought he was just tired from their full day.
Taehyung didn’t dare to raise his gaze from the floor when they trod into the room. He was afraid the moment he would meet Jungkook’s eyes, the knot in his throat would erupt and punch fast-flowing tears out of him. He went straight to the closet to pick fresh clothes and snatched his towel from the chair where he had hung it.
Jungkook saw it all. The avoidance of his gaze, his firmly lowered head, the tension in his frame, the light shuddering of his legs. It was so easy to read him now. He still tested him, though, to affirm his suspicion. “Hey, Taehyung.”
The said man paused for a second, eyes cruising around the floor. “Hey. I’ll go take a shower.”
And of course, Jungkook was right. Something had happened. And it frightened him how much he wanted to know what it was and fix it for him. “Can I join you?”
“Hmm, daring,” Jimin smirked.
Deaf to Jimin’s quip, Taehyung clutched the items in his hold. “Um, no. I’ll be—I’ll be quick.”
Jungkook stared at the door that shut a few seconds later. What happened so suddenly? That gnawing question spiraled in rampant circles in his head, weighing upon his heart until it squashed it.
───⭒───༺🎭༻───⭒───
So the police are looking for Jungkook! How do you think Taehyung will react when they talk? Will he push him away, get mad at him, doubt him? And what about Jungkook? Do you think he will finally tell him everything?
Drop your theories because in a few hours I'll update the next chapter with a couple of very much desired revelations💜
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