Title: Loved You Since..|Jun-ho X Female OC

Author: bigscarr12

Status: Complete

Chapters: 12

Book title: The title describes what the story will be about, I can tell that this will be a fanfiction and may have hints of romance based on the title. I understand that you want may want people to know that this is a fanfiction about Jun-ho and another female character, but personally, I think it would’ve been interesting if the title was more meaningful and had something else being the focus. For example, just keeping it as ‘Loved you Since…’. However, it is a good way to get people to read your story, particularly if they are familiar with the character, so it can still be a good idea. 7/10.

Book cover: I enjoyed the book cover, the colours and the background suit each other really well and I believe that’s a picture of Jun-ho, having him being the focus of the cover as he would be one of the main characters. It has quite a dark atmosphere and the pink title suits it quite well. I think the little quote at the top of the cover is really interesting so it might be better if it was slightly bigger in font or colour to make it more visible. It can be quite hard to see. 9/10

Story description: It’s simple and short, gets to the point and raises some questions about the story. It can be good enough for the reader to decide if they would want to proceed with the story. But I do think it would be nice to have a little bit more description, maybe a little bit more mystery to really hook the reader in. 6/10

Plot: From what I understand, this is a fanfiction based on the Korean drama, Squid game. Although I have watched this drama before, I don’t remember the characters well enough to make a judgement on how well they were written. Generally, when writing fanfiction, it is worth asking yourself how would these characters react in particular situations or how would they interact with these certain people? Also, you did use quite a lot of dialogue which is great, but I think your story could do a bit more with description. One of the best things about Squid game was the suspense and the shock value, so some mystery would really suit the story and setting description so that people who haven’t seen the drama can also enjoy the story. I did enjoy reading about the relationship between Jun-ho and Sun, they were really sweet and you did focus on their relationship a lot, which made them really likeable in my opinion. 6/10

Language and grammar: Your punctuation could use a little work, you tend to miss full stops and commas, especially when writing dialogues. I noticed them quite a lot during the first few chapters and a few times throughout the story. These are easy to fix mistakes so if you spend a little time editing, your grammar will be top notch in no time. 6/10

Pros:

• I enjoyed the way you described the relationship between Jun-ho and Sun.

• The plot of the story was interesting to read.

• The dialogue showed the interaction between different characters, and you got to understand their thoughts and behaviour.

Cons:

• You can certainly do some work on fixing the punctuation errors in the story.

• I think you tend depend on dialogues a lot but adding some more description and building the setting of the story is important. For example, you can add the characters’ thought process, feelings and behaviour after their dialogue to build on their character. Or describe the way they spoke and why, like if they are yelling, whispering, crying etc. Describe their actions, their conflict and so on.

Overall rating: 7/10

This was a great story and you did a really good job. I can tell you had a lot of fun writing it and I had fun reading it too. You have a lot of potential and I really hope you keep writing because you certainly have the talent and skills. I hope this review was useful and helped you find some areas you can improve and I’m sure you’ll be writing more amazing stories in the future.

Finally, the content of this review are just my suggestions and opinions. You have the final say in your story, so you’re not obligated to take any advice you disagreed with. Wish you all the best!

Reviewed by Kitty-Writer