"Taehyung? Taehyung, we heard shouting. Oh sweetheart, why are you crying?" Mrs Kim rushed inside the room, eyes falling over her son who was now sitting up with his back against the bed.

"I yelled at her, I just lost it. I was so angry at her for standing in his room without even asking but her eyes were so sad."

"What happened sweetheart, tell me everything."

Taehyung kept seeing the way Y/N's bottom lip trembled, how her eyes filled with tears and he hated himself for it because he didn't want her to be sad and especially because of something he did.

"I went to see what was taking her so long."

Mrs Kim nodded, recalling how minutes earlier Taehyung had said he was going upstairs to see if Y/N was okay.

"Well, she wasn't there so I thought  that maybe she was in our room but it was empty. I don't know why I was drawn to Jin's room, my feet just started walking in the direction but I kept saying to myself....why would she be there, she doesn't even know where Jin's room is. I got here and the door was open, the light was on and my heart just squeezed so fucking painfully in my chest because it felt like it was him....like he was home and hadn't left us."

"Oh sweetheart." His mom sank down to her knees, hands cupping his face.

"It wasn't him, it was Y/N and suddenly I just got so angry. I told her she didn't belong here, that I didn't want her standing in his room. I just got so protective of his space, let my anger take the reigns. I wanted to go after her, just needed to calm down first."

"Relationships aren't perfect sweetheart, there will be times both of you will lose your way and say things you don't mean but if you love each other then you work through them."

"Why was she here? I just don't understand why she had to go inside his room, why didn't she just ask me?" Taehyung sighed, heart heavy in his chest.

"I didn't tell you earlier because it just didn't feel necessary but earlier Y/N got a little lost when she was trying to find the stairs, somehow ended up standing outside this room. This is partly my fault sweetheart, I told her we don't usually come to this part of the house much and that this used to be Jin's room." His mom paused, thumbs gently wiping away his tears.

"I'm guessing she was probably curious, wanting to know more about him. I'm not defending her actions but she wasn't the only one in the wrong, you need to control that temper better sweetheart. I understand why you're upset with her but raising your voice like that and saying those hurtful things wasn't right, both of you did something you shouldn't and now you need to work through it together."

Taehyung knew his mother was right, that both of them needed to properly discuss what happened but he couldn't find the energy to stand let alone have yet another emotional conversation.

"She said this fell from the shelf, I found her looking at it." He motioned to the book in his lap, eyes fond.

"I haven't seen that book in years, it was your favourite story growing up as children and you used to make me read it every single night before bed." His mom chuckled, hands dropping from Taehyung's face so she could run her fingers over the worn cover.

"The Friendly Dinosaur, this does bring back memories."

Taehyung opens the cover, brow furrowed as he notices something tucked away inside the pages.

"What's that?" His mom asks, eyes curious as he pulls out a small envelope.

Taehyung turns it over and gasps.

To my Taetae.

"It's Jin's writing." He whispers, fingers trembling.

He can't open it, he just....can't.

"Let me."

Taehyung gives a nod, passing it over.

Jin left a letter for him? Just how old is it? Why leave it in the book?

His mom is gentle, takes her time opening the envelope and pulling out the letter inside.

~

Tae,

Do you remember the ladybug? I couldn't sleep tonight, too restless after my treatment and for some reason the day we found the ladybug came to mind.

Remember how we talked about reincarnation yesterday? How I said I wasn't sure what I would want to come back as?

Well I figured it out Tae, I think it would be a ladybug.

I would be free to fly, free to explore....and there's just something so liberating about that.

No responsibilities, free from pain.

I'm tired Tae, I'm so tired.

I don't want to leave, don't want you to be sad but it's reached the point where I'm ready to let go.

I want to fly Tae, I want to be free.

I know you hate the world right now, I know that you're filled with anger and so much pain but it won't last forever.

I know you Tae, I know it'll take time but you'll be brave and you'll finally learn to let go.

Let go of the anger, let go of the pain.

I also want to tell you how much I love you, how proud I am of you.

Don't ever feel guilty for these last few weeks Tae, don't think for one second I will hold any of this against you.

I understand your anger because I feel it too.

You know that I'll never truly leave you right? That I'll always find a way to you, that we'll be together again.

I'll finish this letter later, I'm too tired but just know Tae....that I love you and always will.

~

Taehyung sobs.

That's what he needed.

"I just wanted him to know how sorry I was....sorry that I was so angry and stubborn."

His mom smiled as she pulled him close, fingers gently running through his hair.

"I think our Jin knew you needed this, he didn't want you living with that guilt anymore. I think it's about time you let it go sweetheart, you've been hurting for too long and I think you deserve some happiness now."

His happiness is hurting....hurting because of what he said.

He has to change that.

~

Y/N managed to find their room without much trouble, luckily she didn't see Mr or Mrs Kim so escaped the embarrassment of having to explain what happened.

What she did.

It took some time for her sobs to subside, eyes now red and swollen as she buried herself under the blanket.

She never wanted this.

She just wanted to support Tae, be there when he needed her.

Then she went and ruined everything, probably set his recovery back.

What a mess.

Y/N knew she was in the wrong, she never should've gone inside Jin's room without speaking to Tae first but she selfishly allowed her curiosity to get the better of her.

The door opened around an hour or so later, light from the hallway spilling into the room.

She didn't dare move.

"Tink, you awake?"

The door closed, mattress dipping as Taehyung crawled over the bed.

Y/N buried her face in the pillow, tears staining the silk. "I'm so sorry Tae." She mumbled, too ashamed to face him.

"Baby please let me see you." Taehyung lay on his side, fingers running through her hair.

"I was wrong for doing what I did, I'm sorry."

"I know baby, I know you're sorry and it's okay. I spoke to my mom, she told me about you getting lost earlier and finding Jin's room, I understand you were curious. I do wish you would've asked me, it was wrong of you to go in there but I know you didn't mean anything by it."

Y/N finally found the courage to turn her head, eyes swollen and nose stuffy.

"Hey there, my little snot monster." Tae smiled, pulling her close.

"Hey." She chuckled, fingers playing with the buttons on his shirt.

"I'm sorry too, it just scared me going back there. I haven't seen his room for years and....the door was open and the light was on and I thought....I stupidly thought that maybe all the bad stuff hadn't happened. That maybe he was still here, and everything had just been one twisted nightmare but...."

"It was me, not him. I'm so sorry Tae, I can totally understand why that would upset you."

"Yeah but that doesn't excuse my behaviour, did I have a right to be angry with you....yes but I certainly didn't have the right to shout at you like that."

"It's okay baby, sometimes things like this happen....you know I'll always forgive you."

Taehyung smiled. "You going to stop messing with my buttons and look at me."

Their eyes finally meet.

She smiles.

And just like that his light guides him back.

~

The following day Taehyung takes Y/N to the treehouse.

This time he does notice the ladybug as it gently lands on the back of his hand.

"It's okay now hyung, I'm finally happy so go fly....be free." He smiles, arm wrapping around Y/N's waist.

They both watch as the ladybug takes flight.

((WELL! I hope you guys enjoyed, hit that star button if you did and leave your thoughts. There's a few more chapters to go, the next will have some fluff and romance for you guys as you deserve after all this heavy emotional stuff. Love you guys 💜💜))